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Things you WON'T hear at a gig


Rich

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"Lovely to be back at the Duck & Ferkin. As usual we're packed in between the toilet and the bar. Very cosy. You won't see our bass player but you will hear him. He's back there in the urinals but we've managed to squeeze his rig onstage." 

 

Have to say: this is an inspired thread - haven't laughed so much in years! Every single one brilliant!

Edited by Kitsto
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54 minutes ago, Rich said:

Oh look, every single member of the support band stayed to watch our entire set.

Oh look, every single member of the main act stayed to watch our entire set and didn't just p!ss off to the pub the moment they'd finished soundcheck.

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4 hours ago, Kitsto said:

"Lovely to be back at the Duck & Ferkin. As usual we're packed in between the toilet and the bar. Very cosy. You won't see our bass player but you will hear him. He's back there in the urinals but we've managed to squeeze his rig onstage." 

 

Have to say: this is an inspired thread - haven't laughed so much in years! Every single one brilliant!

 

"For our next number, we offer a new composition of ten minutes duration. I have been asked by Boab Black, Entertainments Convener of The Committee, to warn you that this number WILL be interrupted by the bingo, when the the band's black boxes will be unceremoniously un-plugged from the wall, as the drummer is temporarily crucified to ensure sacrosanct silence in-case Wee Aggie misses a line. The band will, of course, be amply compensated for this public humiliation and artistic vandalism, and hope 'legs eleven' is good to you this night and evermore. Thank you. Ah, one, ah two, a one, two, three, four ..."

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54 minutes ago, Lozz196 said:

Don’t, that’s one of my pet hates, bands thanking, get on & play please!

 

@Lozz196 thanking anyone at all from the stage. 

 

 

 

But he's a lovely chap who profusely thanks the soundman, lighting crew, roadies and event security after his gigs and pays them straight away. 

 

 

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'One of the highlights of a pub gig for me is listening to guitarists tune up; it's so disappointing at bigger gigs when they're muted; I miss that 'will they, won't they?' tension as they search for the pitch...'

 

'I may have had a few, but I'm certainly going to resist shouting 'Three! Four!' while they soundcheck the mics...'

Edited by Muzz
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I'm going to listen to this band, applaud between songs and then ask for an encore at the end, rather than ignore them completely and yell at/talk to my mates throughout the entire set only to drunkenly yell "ONE MORE SONG" after they finish despite the fact that I haven't paid attention to a single note they've played all night.

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2 hours ago, Franticsmurf said:

"Hey, man. We're in a band too but you're so much better than us, and you have gigs."

I shall make a point of shouting that as loudly as I can this evening 😊

 

Bruce and the band probably won't hear me as they'll be 60 yards away at the other end of Villa Park 

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