HOW hard is it to find a decent band to play in these days?

[dmccombe7]

7 minutes ago, Marvin said:

 

'Practice' night, and I use that term very lightly, is at a time and place that isn't very good for me. It results in me not getting a hot meal that day or seeing my family. It's something I'd be fine with if I thought the others really wanted to get out of the practice room. The 2 guitarists only have to remember fairly straight forward chord progressions, no solos or tricky stuff. Yet at the beginning of every song the phones come out and Ultimate Guitar is referred to. Which is somewhat redundant as the singer wants to change the key of the songs at every practice (there are only 5 songs so far and one of them has been played in about 4 different keys).

Next practice the singer has invited a cajon player along who can only stay for an hour as they've got a weekly commitment that night. And the singer needs to leave early anyway. 

 

It really is a shambles. It's simply not how bands function is it?

Simple answer is NO.

I just couldn't work with people like that. You either want to be in a working band or you don't. If you can't commit then step aside and allow the others in the band to move forward is how i view things.

That's just a joke and if that happened at a rehearsal i'd walk out. New members being brought in is a band decision and should have been discussed and agreed before a rehearsal and what's the point if he can only stay for an hour.

I'm retired so its easier for me on the food front but when i'm gigging my main meal / dinner is a Tesco meal deal taken after sound check. Occasionally i get takeaway food for a change. That kinda goes with the territory i'm afraid. Our rehearsals used to be a Sun from 12-6 with and hours drive each way and we would take sandwiches to that as well. As you say if everyone is singing from the same page you do accept some uncomfortable issues like no hot meals that day but you need to see a return on that sacrifice with the band moving forward.

I was in a blues-funk band for a spell and it turned out the BL only wanted to rehearse. I was driving country roads for over an hour each way thru winter conditions to get there and back and found out he didn't want to gig much maybe once or twice a year. I left when i found this out from another band member. The annoying part was the band was pretty darn good and i was enjoying the music.

I really feel for you there @Marvin. It wouldn't be me. I'd move on and look for something else.

Dave

 

[neepheid]

I have a different problem.  I'm in two great bands - we're having a godawful time finding a replacement singer for one of them at the moment.  So far had got nothing but unfortunately nervous people, poseurs, wannabes, liars and weirdos.  We're cursed.

Edited December 10, 2023 by neepheid

[TimR]

Bands should not be a democracy. Someone should be leading, even if they're taking everyone's views into consideration, someone should be the overall director. 

[dmccombe7]

39 minutes ago, neepheid said:

I have a different problem.  I'm in two great bands - we're having a godawful time finding a replacement singer for one of them at the moment.  So far had got nothing but unfortunately nervous people, poseurs, wannabes, liars and weirdos.  We're cursed.

Ask the singer in the other band if they could do it. 

My drummer and female singer is in both bands and it means the diaries sync a lot easier if you have people in both bands. 

Dave

[neepheid]

Just now, dmccombe7 said:

Ask the singer in the other band if they could do it. 

My drummer and female singer is in both bands and it means the diaries sync a lot easier if you have people in both bands. 

Dave

 

Already thunk of that one, he wasn't up for it, he's in 3 bands as it is!

[dmccombe7]

21 minutes ago, TimR said:

Bands should not be a democracy. Someone should be leading, even if they're taking everyone's views into consideration, someone should be the overall director. 

Agree a band needs someone making the final decision and everyone else has to abide by that but some decisions should be discussed as a band.

I think any BL should respect the others and not bring in someone new without prior discussion and agreement. 

Dave

[dmccombe7]

1 minute ago, neepheid said:

 

Already thunk of that one, he wasn't up for it, he's in 3 bands as it is!

Can any of the other band members sing and play to a decent level ? 

Dave

[neepheid]

3 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

Can any of the other band members sing and play to a decent level ? 

Dave

 

No.  We're all specialists in our chosen fields.  More probably timewasting auditions this week, wheeee!

[TimR]

4 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

...

I think any BL should respect the others and not bring in someone new without prior discussion and agreement. 

Dave

 

Ha, yes, I was introduced to another guitarist on Monday. That's 3 guitarists, a keyboard player, drums and me. 

 

I don't know where it's going as he's talking about a sax player.

 

I just see it as something easy for me to turn up to at the moment. It's local and cheap. 

 

The only problem I have is that the writer is using us to work out structural arrangements and that means we have changes all the time and no kne really knows what's going on. 😆

 

I've been in a band like that before and my younger self didn't have the patience. 

[dmccombe7]

3 minutes ago, TimR said:

 

Ha, yes, I was introduced to another guitarist on Monday. That's 3 guitarists, a keyboard player, drums and me. 

 

I don't know where it's going as he's talking about a sax player.

 

I just see it as something easy for me to turn up to at the moment. It's local and cheap. 

 

The only problem I have is that the writer is using us to work out structural arrangements and that means we have changes all the time and no kne really knows what's going on. 😆

 

I've been in a band like that before and my younger self didn't have the patience. 

Your last comment says it all. I'm a lot more patient and acceptable these days than i was at 20. Age does have its rewards 

Stick with it but keep searching around for something else even if it means running 2 bands at same time you can always drop the one that isn't doing it for you.

Dave

[Lfalex v1.1]

27 minutes ago, TimR said:

Bands should not be a democracy. Someone should be leading, even if they're taking everyone's views into consideration, someone should be the overall director. 

 

Perhaps it's a Geographical thing,  but in the absence of a very strong creative force or forceful personality within a band, I find the default arrangement to be a sort of Plutocracy.

 

Thinking back ( over the last 30 years)

I can barely think of a single band that I was in, or knew of that didn't function in this manner.

 

Whichever band member has the most money, living space or most relaxed lifestyle (so "free time") often becomes  the de facto band leader. 

 

A good example being that they may have space enough to be able to offer rehearsal facilities at no cost to the band. 

In itself, a useful bargaining chip. 

 

That's not a criticism;

If I had the space/money/time, I'd do the same.

[Jackroadkill]

We've just had to change our drummer, as Jim*, our original drummer, was really struggling to get to rehearsals and gigs.  He's a lovely lad and a very feel-oriented drummer, and I really enjoyed playing with him.  He, the singer and myself have known each other since we were 13 and Jim's lack of availability was starting to cause some pretty serious friction, even between the three of us, who have always been tight.  Add into this his poor mental health (which we'd spoken to him about and he wasn't ready to acknowledge as a problem), his two jobs, other band, fraught family circumstances and an over-reliance on alcohol and it all became a bit much.  We'd have band discussions regarding what songs we were going to learn, and he'd agree one week and then adamantly refuse them the next, saying he'd never heard of them or didn't like them.  There would be discussions about when a gig was booked for and he'd agree to the gig, we'd book it and then he'd cancel, saying that he had other commitments - but only after we'd said yes to the gig.  I spoke to him one night after practice about his mental health and his circumstances, and told him that if something had to give, he could leave the band with our blessing, as he was my friend first and my drummer second, but he insisted that all was fine and that he was on top of it all.

 

Rehearsals were getting pretty fraught, and as the de facto BL I was constantly trying to give everyone their say and at the same time keep it all from going bang.  The band Whatsapp group was becoming a bit of a minefield, especially when he'd been drinking.  Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't all down to Jim - the rest of us have families, jobs etc, and they all make demands on our time.We all have stress and problems in our lives, too, so he wasn't alone in that.  I think the main issue was that the band wasn't as much of a priority for Jim as it was for the rest of us, but he didn't see it that way.

 

To cut a long story short, after declaring that he wouldn't be available for a fortnight (not in a "Lads, things are a bit busy so I'm going to need a couple of weeks off" kind of way, more of a "You lot will have to wait" kind of way, there were.... words between Jim and the singer, which culminated in him saying he was leaving the band.

 

I phoned him a day or so later and said that as much as I didn't want him to go, it was probably for the best.  I think he was hoping we'd have him back, but I said that the rest of us were in agreement that it was best that he left.  It was a hard call and a bit of a balancing act, but he and I are still firm friends and we message each other almost daily.  As I said, friend first, drummer second.

 

Almost immediately we put out an advert for another bin-hitter, and had three firm responses and a couple of less firm ones.  We went with Phil, the first guy we tried out, because he was a perfect fit.  He just clicked.  A superb drummer whom we had all seen in action before, an easygoing attitude and able to say exactly when he could and couldn't rehearse.  It's taking a while for things to settle down, as changing a drummer is a big upheaval, but Phil is keen and is learning the set at a very pleasing rate.

 

TL:DR: Sometimes you have to replace a band member or two to make things come together.

 

*Not his real name.

 

 

[AndyTravis]

This has been a revelation…

 

No arguing, no fussing, no let downs.

 

No Egos.

 

weird, was about to give up completely.

 

2024 looking good.

 

I auditioned and got the “job” with 3 other bands - but this just felt right.

 

So I let the other bands know and off I went - one set of responses from a particular band were reassuringly horrific…glad I didn’t join that particular band.

[dmccombe7]

45 minutes ago, Lfalex v1.1 said:

 

Perhaps it's a Geographical thing,  but in the absence of a very strong creative force or forceful personality within a band, I find the default arrangement to be a sort of Plutocracy.

 

Thinking back ( over the last 30 years)

I can barely think of a single band that I was in, or knew of that didn't function in this manner.

 

Whichever band member has the most money, living space or most relaxed lifestyle (so "free time") often becomes  the de facto band leader. 

 

A good example being that they may have space enough to be able to offer rehearsal facilities at no cost to the band. 

In itself, a useful bargaining chip. 

 

That's not a criticism;

If I had the space/money/time, I'd do the same.

Oddly enough i've found the opposite. I've seen it being the person that started the band or the most experienced member ie with most success in bands. 

Our drummer has toured Europe and UK incl Wembley stadium and has lots of band experience and knows how to get along with band members. The difference with him is he did it as a working musician and had to find ways of getting along with people altho he is a really nice guy and so easy to get along with. The singer in the Glam band started the band so between the singer and drummer they do most of the work involved with running the band. Ideas and suggestions are usually decided as a band tho and we've always maintained that if someone doesn't agree or want to do a song we just drop it and move on. The singer tends to arrange all the gigs and the drummer sorts out all the posters and advertising etc.

It works well for us but maybe not for everyone. When the Glam band started the guitarist was given musical director duties thru default and that didn't work at all. He would make changes for no reason at all or because he was bored with playing same endings every time. That caused a bit of friction and he decided to leave altho it was on good terms with us.

Dave

[dmccombe7]

28 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

This has been a revelation…

 

No arguing, no fussing, no let downs.

 

No Egos.

 

weird, was about to give up completely.

 

2024 looking good.

 

I auditioned and got the “job” with 3 other bands - but this just felt right.

 

So I let the other bands know and off I went - one set of responses from a particular band were reassuringly horrific…glad I didn’t join that particular band.

Sometimes you just know its right.

Dave

[TimR]

1 hour ago, dmccombe7 said:

Your last comment says it all. I'm a lot more patient and acceptable these days than i was at 20. Age does have its rewards 

Stick with it but keep searching around for something else even if it means running 2 bands at same time you can always drop the one that isn't doing it for you.

Dave

 

It's one of 3 I'm currently playing in.

 

Each one has its own 'difficulties'. 😆

 

 

[dmccombe7]

8 minutes ago, TimR said:

 

It's one of 3 I'm currently playing in.

 

Each one has its own 'difficulties'. 😆

 

 

Not so bad you have options there.

Our Glam band is picking up really well now since pandemic and we are getting quite busy with a lot of demand for us on return gigs. Now booked at  Xmas and Hogmanay 2024. The Hogmanay gig was offered to us at our first outing in that venue before we left the club and confirmed with the committee before the singer even got home so they were impressed. 

If it keeps the way it is i'll maybe struggle a bit keeping the 2 bands going. Not sure how 2024 will pan out in that respect.

Shame as i do enjoy playing both styles of music  but Glam was my first intro to music back in early 70's and i've loved it ever since.

Dave 

[TimR]

1 hour ago, Lfalex v1.1 said:

most relaxed lifestyle (so "free time")

 

Agree with that totally. They still need to be mindful of the rest of the band members.

 

One band I was in the BL was oblivious to anyone else's personal situations, if someone couldn't make a gig he had organised it was a disaster and he'd be questioning their commitment, if he couldn't make a gig, there was no problem. 

[chris_b]

17 hours ago, Marvin said:

I'm not sure whether to keep going or just pack it all in. This is the 4th or 5th time of going nowhere since my last band fizzled out.

 

Keep going until you find the right people.

[Lozz196]

4 hours ago, Marvin said:

 

'Practice' night, and I use that term very lightly, is at a time and place that isn't very good for me. It results in me not getting a hot meal that day or seeing my family. It's something I'd be fine with if I thought the others really wanted to get out of the practice room. The 2 guitarists only have to remember fairly straight forward chord progressions, no solos or tricky stuff. Yet at the beginning of every song the phones come out and Ultimate Guitar is referred to. Which is somewhat redundant as the singer wants to change the key of the songs at every practice (there are only 5 songs so far and one of them has been played in about 4 different keys).

Next practice the singer has invited a cajon player along who can only stay for an hour as they've got a weekly commitment that night. And the singer needs to leave early anyway. 

 

It really is a shambles. It's simply not how bands function is it?

I think  that as soon as it gets to the songs that they need their phones for I’d pack my gear up leaving my share of the fee up until that time, saying rehearsals are for rehearsing and not learning. Do it a couple of times and it might sink in, hitting peoples pockets often does.

Edited December 10, 2023 by Lozz196

[Jackroadkill]

26 minutes ago, Lozz196 said:

rehearsals are for rehearsing and not learning.

 

Yes, I tend to agree.  Occasionally there may be the need for someone to learn a bit on the fly but not very often, and certainly not the whole song, and (again certainly) not on multiple occasions.

[lozkerr]

6 hours ago, Marvin said:

It really is a shambles. It's simply not how bands function is it?

Definitely not, if they want to get anywhere. I sympathise - I wouldn't last long in a band like that. Bringing someone else along and expecting them to be allowed to play without asking beforehand is downright rude.

 

We use phones in both bands I'm in, but only for recording the sessions and playing back cover songs through the PA that we're having difficulty getting right. 

 

The Ultimate Guitar thing sounds bizarre, too. I'd be embarrassed at having to do that - I normally learn songs by making a paper chart and getting to the stage where I only need it as an aide-memoire rather than reading to the exclusion of everything else. It's easier to annotate a paper chart, too.

 

But don't be disheartened - you came into the band with the right attitude and if you keep looking, you'll find the right people eventually.

[dclaassen]

7 hours ago, Marvin said:

 

'Practice' night, and I use that term very lightly, is at a time and place that isn't very good for me. It results in me not getting a hot meal that day or seeing my family. It's something I'd be fine with if I thought the others really wanted to get out of the practice room. The 2 guitarists only have to remember fairly straight forward chord progressions, no solos or tricky stuff. Yet at the beginning of every song the phones come out and Ultimate Guitar is referred to. Which is somewhat redundant as the singer wants to change the key of the songs at every practice (there are only 5 songs so far and one of them has been played in about 4 different keys).

Next practice the singer has invited a cajon player along who can only stay for an hour as they've got a weekly commitment that night. And the singer needs to leave early anyway. 

 

It really is a shambles. It's simply not how bands function is it?

Sounds like a bunch of wanna-be, timewasting, amateurs to me. If you enjoy that process enough, stick. If not, walk away. It’s probably not going to change though.

[Supernaut]

7 hours ago, dmccombe7 said:

I've used JMB, Bandmix and even Gumtree over the years and more recently we got our guitarist thru placing a FB advert. 

 

When i was younger i just wanted to play Prog Rock but thru the 80's the demand fell away and no-one wanted to watch that particular style so i adapted and played rock. 

As i got older and after a few yrs away due to work commitments around 2010 i took on any band i could get into just to get some experience again. I was in everything from pop, blues, funk, celtic rock, originals rock, Deep Purple tribute, 70's covers, originals Prog, indie originals and finally ended up with my current Glam covers band and classic punk covers band.

 

My point being that if your music doesn't appeal to many then getting band members and subsequent gigs will be far more difficult and you may need to look further afield for gigs and even band members. What i would suggest is that as an interim measure until you can get the band and gigs you want then take on a different style of music that's a bit more popular to keep your hand in. Just a thought.

Think its probably an age gap there as when i was young i definitely wouldn't have played in some of the band styles i listed above and nothing but Prog was ever gonna do it for me  but i do wish you all the very best and hope Santa brings you the musicians and gigs you are looking for. 

 

Dave

For reference, I have no interest in playing technical blackened death metal on a Wednesday night at the Dog and Muck in Kidderminster. Most of the ads on JMB just seem to be that way. 
 

EDIT: Also, I will never join a band just to play music. It has to be something/good enough that makes me want to attend rehearsal. 

Edited December 10, 2023 by Supernaut

[dmccombe7]

39 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

For reference, I have no interest in playing technical blackened death metal on a Wednesday night at the Dog and Muck in Kidderminster. Most of the ads on JMB just seem to be that way. 
 

EDIT: Also, I will never join a band just to play music. It has to be something/good enough that makes me want to attend rehearsal. 

Sorry i picked you up wrong there. 

My reason for playing in virtually any style was simply to gain experience after a 15yr gap away from bands and getting myself out there gigging again and being noticed by other musicians. It paves the way for word of mouth invites to other bands. It worked a treat as i was never as busy as this when i was 20. These days i have regained all that experience and like you wouldn't play in just any band just for the sake of playing but i have to admit that some of those bands i tried, i really enjoyed even tho it wasn't a particular style i was into. Bit like my punk band. Few friends couldn't believe i was in a punk band after 40+ years as a rock and Prog bassist even thru the punk era. it came as a surprise to them but once i started i found it quite a challenge and really enjoy it now. The challenge wasn't technical ability but more down to fingerstyle stamina playing punk for 2.5 hrs was sore on the plucking fingers at the start.

Dave