Would you join a band that you probably wouldn't bother to go and see?

[Franticsmurf]

I played in a covers band for several years but I would never have made an effort (or paid money) to go and see them. I enjoyed playing live and, as has been said by others above, there is a difference between listening to and playing a song. We had a good time on stage and I think a couple of the others were of a similar mind to me and wouldn't have been in the audience. But I would never have left them without a bassist had the opportunity arisen. And for me, this is the crucial part. Turn the situation around - would you want a musician in your band whom you knew was likely to leave if the right band called?  

 

On first reading the OP, I thought 'yes, play, get the experience, enjoy'. But there is the matter of letting the band down if something else comes along. And with an originals band that can be disastrous if they lose a band member as they are building their reputation. I think if it was me, I'd be making sure they understood my feelings towards the music and I'd be honest about my intentions. They could then decide what to do - and perhaps look for a permanent bassist while you play with them. It's only fair to everyone. Are you able to give the level of commitment they deserve?

 

I recently left a band that wasn't doing it for me. I enjoyed the opportunity to play, they were great musicians and decent people. But I realised that the music wasn't what I was in to, and therefore I couldn't give it the 100% the band deserved. I went before they got to the gigging stage so they had time to replace me with someone more suitable. And it kept things amicable.

 

 

 

[fretmeister]

I would.

 

There's plenty of music I like to play but wouldn't go an see live, for all manner of reasons.

 

I don't listen to disco unless it just comes up on a random shuffle play and wouldn't go and see a show but playing in band doing Jackson 5 / Chic / Sly etc etc would be great fun.

 

Same for punk / pop-punk too. I don't listen to it, but I bet the energy of performing it is great.

[gafbass02]

Definitely. There’s fun to be found just from the sheer act of playing and performing. 
I’ve done it several times, I was in a classic rock band for a few years, existing in a world I know nothing of and didn’t care for, being introduced to supposedly famous names that I’d never heard of. 
It was ace fun.

Same thing happened shortly afterwards with a metal band too. 
You only live once
 

[Barking Spiders]

I'd probably join a band my mrs, kids and mates wouldn't bother to go and see. I could then get away with being shyte. Saying that, IMO it's better to be in no band than in one whose music you don't give a monkeys left t1t about. In my younger days I did play in bands whose music I wasn't that fussed about just to be in a band but I never stayed long.

[BigRedX]

1 minute ago, Barking Spiders said:

In my younger days I did play in bands whose music I wasn't that fussed about just to be in a band but I never stayed long.

 

I've found that as I've got older, I've got more tolerant about the kinds of music I am happy playing. Up to my early 40s I would have never entertained the possibility of playing in some of the bands I've joined since then.

[Barking Spiders]

1 minute ago, BigRedX said:

 

I've found that as I've got older, I've got more tolerant about the kinds of music I am happy playing. Up to my early 40s I would have never entertained the possibility of playing in some of the bands I've joined since then.

Flip that 180 degrees and that's where I am. Not so much intolerant but happily oblivious about as I never listen to music radio or go to gigs unless the band is a big fave of mine. The only time I'm exposed to stuff outside my comfort zone is on Rick Beato's YT show.

[chris_b]

IMO playing music is better than listening to it and I'll play anything.

 

I'd join any band that would have me.

 

The exceptions depends on the people.

[tauzero]

12 minutes ago, chris_b said:

IMO playing music is better than listening to it and I'll play anything.

 

I'd join any band that would have me.

 

The exceptions depends on the people.

 

That's pretty much my attitude.

[Pseudonym]

If it is an originals band, your different perspective might or might not be a major asset. The band might develop in a subtly different, and more interesting, direction. Of course, if you are just a "monkey" bass player as far as they are concerned, rather than an organ-grinder, you probably wouldn't affect them much -- but nor should they be surprised if you jump ship for a band where your participation is active rather than passive (nerdy bass allusion coincidental).

 

If they value your contribution, however, it might develop into a band that you would go to see.

 

Why not give it a shot, give it time, and see what transpires? I find playing music different from experiencing it as part of an audience. You might find that it is fun and rewarding.

[Mykesbass]

Possibly controversial here, but I know plenty of others share my opinion, I would never recruit a couple to a band, so that may make your Blues recruitment a little harder.

[Newfoundfreedom]

I generally wouldn't listen to the kind of music my most recent band played. But that's probably because I'm rock / metal through and through and most other genres just leave me cold. However, I really enjoyed the creative process of making music with an originals band that was totally different to the kind of thing I'm normally into. My bass playing definitely improved because of it. I don't think I could do the same thing with a covers band and trying to learn songs I didn't like verbatim. My general attitude is, this is my hobby. If I ain't enjoying it, I ain't playing it. 

[tauzero]

18 minutes ago, Mykesbass said:

Possibly controversial here, but I know plenty of others share my opinion, I would never recruit a couple to a band, so that may make your Blues recruitment a little harder.

 

Any particular reason? Mrs Zero and I have been in a couple of bands together and also play as an acoustic duo, and AFAIK it's never caused an issue. In fact, one band I'm in that's just a recording band wants her to come in to do some vocals too.

[martthebass]

My preferred genre is post punk/new wave but found myself depping in a Glam Rock band as my then band wasn't particularly active.  7 years on I'm still enjoying playing in a Glam rock band.  Never look a gift horse......

In terms of the OP's question though....yes.  I've never been one to do the busman's holiday thing, I'm much happier up on stage than watching.

Edited July 13, 2023 by martthebass

[Mykesbass]

52 minutes ago, tauzero said:

 

Any particular reason? Mrs Zero and I have been in a couple of bands together and also play as an acoustic duo, and AFAIK it's never caused an issue. In fact, one band I'm in that's just a recording band wants her to come in to do some vocals too.

Because you are the exception that proves the rule. A couple have their own dynamic/relationship. This will very nearly always lead to conflict with the band dynamic/relationship. You and Mrs Zero, and the people you are happily in bands with are very lucky it works for you all.

[Waddo Soqable]

1 hour ago, Mykesbass said:

Because you are the exception that proves the rule. A couple have their own dynamic/relationship. This will very nearly always lead to conflict with the band dynamic/relationship. You and Mrs Zero, and the people you are happily in bands with are very lucky it works for you all.

In my experience it's always ended badly if there's boyfriend girlfriend type couple whatever relationship in a band. As above there has to be the odd exception but I've never seen it, either in bands I've been in or those of others I know. 

[Newfoundfreedom]

8 minutes ago, Waddo Soqable said:

In my experience it's always ended badly if there's boyfriend girlfriend type couple whatever relationship in a band. As above there has to be the odd exception but I've never seen it, either in bands I've been in or those of others I know. 

 

My current (maybe) / former band was made up of 2 married couples. Me on bass. My wife on Vox. Guitarist and guitarists wife on drums. It worked really well because we were / are all good friends. Musically my wife agreed with the guitarist far more often than she agreed with me. So there was definitely no musical favouritism where the band was concerned. Life is currently in the way of the band, but we're all still good friends. 

[Happy Jack]

Ain't no law says you can't be in two bands at the same time.

 

Playing a genre you're not fond of will broaden your horizons much more than doing the same old.

[Cat Burrito]

I'm fortunate in that over 35yrs of playing, I have always managed to play the style I am into at the time, across a range of genres. It's probably my greatest musical achievement but at the expense of a lot of things. Reading the original post, I think "just be straight with them" - I am sure you already are. Not to the extent that you tell them that you might jump ship but just that 1) it's good to be playing again, 2) they are nice guys but 3) it's not a genre that you particularly care for. Effectively, it's softener if the worst happens. They may wish you were a bit more of a metal guy. Play it out, see how it goes. You may enjoy it, you may learn to appreciate the style. Equally, it might be that a few rehearsals in, it's not working out for everyone. These things happen. Nobody is getting married. 

 

I've played a couple of things that have been less to my taste but ultimately I have thought things like 1) I'm gigging  / earning a lot and 2) I like the guys. Every time in that scenario I have found it had a shelf life Also consider the location. I'm fairly central so bands are ten a penny. If I lived in Cornwall or rural Scotland, I might be compromising more in order to play. If it's fun, keep it going. If it's not, look at your options. 

[KingBollock]

14 minutes ago, Happy Jack said:

Ain't no law says you can't be in two bands at the same time.

I wish I’d known that when I was a kid!

 

I was in a band with musicians much older than me, so they often hung out together outside of the band (they ranged in age from 18 to 29. I was only 14 and couldn’t get in the pub). The rhythm guitarist and the drummer decided to leave and do their own thing, rather than try to sack the lead guitarist and singer, so the band split up. I knew nothing of any of this.
 

Then I got asked to join with the rhythm section and I said yes. Later the lead guitarist asked if I’d join him in a band, and I really wanted to, but I told him that I had already said I’d join the others.

 

Guess which one went on to have successful music career…?

 

Ironically, it was the lead guitarist that gave me the message that I had a phone call (I was at work, in a guitar shop), which turned out to be the rhythm guitarist asking me to join him.

[Dan Dare]

As you say you aren't keen on the material, I'd say definitely no. From their point of view, if you join and leave after a few months, they'll have to start from scratch, so it won't be doing them any favours.

 

As far as "Any band is better than no band" goes, if you were parched and in the desert and someone offered you a glass of muddy water, you'd probably drink it...

[Rich]

As long as the tunes were good and it wasn't a genre that I actively disliked, then yes I probably would. Any gig is better than no gig (up to a point, anyway). However, you should probably let them know that it's not exactly your first choice. 

[EssexBuccaneer]

I play for my own enjoyment, no other reason than that. 
 

Because of this, I would never play in a band that didn’t do music that I was a least a bit ‘into’. It’s rock/metal all the way for me. Would (as an example) playing in a jazz or soul band improve my playing? Almost certainly - but if I’m not enjoying it, I’d not be doing the band (or myself) justice. 

[chris_b]

5 hours ago, Cat Burrito said:

I'm fortunate in that over 35yrs of playing, I have always managed to play the style I am into at the time, across a range of genres.

 

 

Same here.

 

I'm surprised and grateful that my basic "Duck Dunn" style has worked for several thousand gigs over the last 50 years, and still nails it in all the different bands I play with today.

[tauzero]

On 13/07/2023 at 17:22, Waddo Soqable said:

In my experience it's always ended badly if there's boyfriend girlfriend type couple whatever relationship in a band. As above there has to be the odd exception but I've never seen it, either in bands I've been in or those of others I know. 

 

I should perhaps mention that we only joined one of the bands as a couple (prog covers band that never got to gigging because of trying to recruit and keep a drummer). The other two bands, she was recruited by the band after me, and not from my suggestion. One of those bands already included one husband and wife, and didn't have any issues due to that. I know another band featuring a husband and wife which has been going for at least 30 years with no issues. From my own experience, I would say that your experience is the exception.

[Waddo Soqable]

38 minutes ago, tauzero said:

 

I should perhaps mention that we only joined one of the bands as a couple (prog covers band that never got to gigging because of trying to recruit and keep a drummer). The other two bands, she was recruited by the band after me, and not from my suggestion. One of those bands already included one husband and wife, and didn't have any issues due to that. I know another band featuring a husband and wife which has been going for at least 30 years with no issues. From my own experience, I would say that your experience is the exception.

Sounds like you're talking of folks of a rather more "mature" age group though, husband and wife of fairly long standing etc... a very different "demographic" to the ones I'm thinking of. 

But hey if it works out with a happy ending that's lovely