Anyone else just ready to give up?

[snorkie635]

I'm on-record in the forum stating I don't enjoy live music at all (playing or listening), so I get where you're coming from. I've even lied to people asking me to dep or jam, claiming I have no gear, etc. Sometimes it feels like flogging a long-dead horse to me, so I now play mostly at home when the urge takes me. Still enjoy looking at basses, but as in the old BB King track, the thrill is [long] gone in my case. 
 

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you. Even if you sell the gear, unless you're chasing 'stardom', it's not going to bust the bank to buy some stuff and start playing again sometime in the future.

[Bluewine]

I'd never quit on my own. If Maple Road ever  folded, I'd never be able to find another gigging band that would be a match for me.

 

Blue

[NJE]

Just over two years ago I was done, I had no interest in playing at home or joining a band and my bass didn’t come out of the case for about a year.

 

An old band mate kept hassling me to help him out with his band, and after a few months I caved in and went along to help out with vocals (I sing lead on occasion) as they had a new bass player. Long story short bass player left and I have been practicing and gigging a little bit as they are a good bunch to play with.

 

The weird bit for me is that, I would not care in the slightest if it folded. There was a slight disagreement a few weeks back and I was even hoping that was the end of the band and I wouldn’t have to do it anymore. Not because it’s a bad band, but just the general stress and pressure and I have plenty of other things going on, two kids and work and a business project with a friend.

 

I have my main bass, I use a cheap Trace amp which my sax player owns, a few pedals which probably need to be sold and I am good. Not bought any equipment in years, but still like popping on here and window shopping.

 

I probably have more interest in my tenor guitar and ukulele these days.

[LukeFRC]

With demanding work and two small kids and an upcoming house refurb project keeping my playing at home ticking over feels like an achievement in itself.

Basses are fun and there’s enjoyment in trying gear, but that gets odd when you’re not using it regularly. 
but I’m atypical I think, my creative outlet is through my work, and playing bass is what I do to relax and use a different part of my brain - I’m reality piano would probably be better if I would be disciplined enough to sit and learn. 
it’s not a bad thing to not care as much any more, and put your energy elsewhere.
Where that must become odd feeling is if part of your conscious or unconscious identity is “hi I’m Andy - I’m a musician” - that has to be positively reprogrammed to be something else. And it probably isn’t easy to do that.

 

 

 

[AndyTravis]

@LukeFRC that’s it, 27 years I’ve been obsessive. Maybe I’m burned out 🥴😂

[three]

I think that for many of us there are ebbs and flows in interest, and these don't always coincide with episodes or periods wherein other priorities require time away from playing (or at least, permit insufficient time for anything more than the odd noodle).  Over the years - very many of them - I've gigged and recorded intensively, sometimes simply messed around with basses, or drifted into other interests and obligations where bass has taken a back-seat.  I've realised in the past decade that I simply enjoy playing bass for its own reward in terms of relaxation.  There's something about the feel of fingers on strings and board that helps me to just drift away - not concentrating, practising or composing, merely sensation, sentience and disengagement from a cacophony of inconsequential trivia.

 

Andy, you were gifted with an incredible talent, one that has brought (and will bring) pleasure to those that are sufficiently fortunate to hear you play - and in a reasonable world, that would be hordes.  I'd say, just don't force it - you'll sense if and when it's time.  In the interim, just fiddle around and relax - and in your household, the cacophony of inconsequence must be a joyous one

 

Edited October 14, 2023 by three

[LukeFRC]

48 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

@LukeFRC that’s it, 27 years I’ve been obsessive. Maybe I’m burned out 🥴😂

Imagine you're a massive Man City fan. 

You go to every game, home and away. When you were younger you even played for the youth team. You're in the fans group. You have all the kit to wear, plus the training kit. You talk for hours online on forums about City, you wake up and you check the socials for news about city, you own nothing red, you listen to Oasis every day, your ring tone is "aaguerooooo" and you have dreams you wouldn't tell the wife about of Haaland. If we cut through your heart it would probably be tattooed with the City badge.

But one day you wake up beneath your bedsheets (sky blue, but not the official club ones, because even your wife has limits) in your Man City pyjamas look at the a signed picture of Pep above your bed, and one of Colin Bell on the bedside table along side you and get up. You pull open the curtains to see the dour grey rain that Manchester is famous for and the realisation hits you that you're just a extra in the background of a petrostate's soft power initiative, and paying for the privilege. 

 

So what do you do? Probably take a bit of time away from City, maybe try purple bedsheets. Redecorate. Relax. 
the thing is you probably still like watching city, and with time maybe even go to a few games again. But at that stage, on that grey wet morning the end state is uncertain, maybe you will, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll start playing again, maybe you'll end up doing something else. You just need time to reconfigure work it out. 

 

(Know Andy just well enough to know the football metaphor will make his day him vomit  _)

[AndyTravis]

@LukeFRC that was the most bizarre metaphor.

 

I got it though.

 

my lad (a city fan…🤮) is hinting that the sky blue bedroom and “Etihad Stadum”

road signs etc are destined to go soon.

 

And @three you are wonderful as ever, far too nice to me 😂

 

I actually restored an old Framus for a mate this week. During that process I bought spare strings.

 

im going to spend today restringing - something about new string day always inspires.

 

Then I’m at a 40th where an old band mate is due to attend. We’ll see.

 

 

[Kitsto]

Sometimes it can taking something unexpected to make you reassess.

 

Some years ago I was in a covers band that played 20+ gigs a year and got plenty of repeat bookings from pubs and local charity festivals. Then I had a family catastrophe (involving my special needs stepson) and all external activities went on hold. The band were really understanding and got in a dep. The assumption was I'd go back in due course.

 

A while later once things at home were back on an even keel I realised I didn't want to go back. The band were great - the others all better musicians than me and I'd been lucky to be taken on by them. But I gradually realised that, although this had been my lifelong dream (to be in a  band), there were niggles that had started to grate - as the new boy I felt obliged to get us gigs, to do the bulk of the loading in and out, to play songs I didn't like, the endless waiting around, etc. Nothing serious in itself. But, above all, I realised I just didn't like playing live. I loved our weekly 3+ hours rehearsals. But playing live either terrified me (can I play this song?) or, increasingly (once I could play the songs), just bored me. I dunno why. It just did.

 

Anyway, long story short: I worked out that I loved deconstructing and learning bass lines but - like Neil Peart in Rush - the live stuff was an encumbrance. So I ditched the idea of being in a band (that one had been plenty good as it was) and created setlists of music I like to play from Karaoke Version UK. I now play 1-2 hours a day on my own and absolutely love it. I'm a better bass player than I ever was in the band.

 

Will I go back to being in a band? No. Will I give up playing? Never.  

 

Edit: forgot to say - the point of all of this is that, but for the family event, I would never have left the band - I would never have questioned why I was increasingly unhappy in it or dared to tell the others I was off....

Edited October 14, 2023 by Kitsto

[AndyTravis]

Ah well. New strings…

 

a little bit of fun.

 

then proceeded to record something with a bass with old strings 😂

[neepheid]

58 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

Ah well. New strings…

 

a little bit of fun.

 

then proceeded to record something with a bass with old strings 😂

 

I looked up "bass player" definition and I didn't see "makes logical sense" anywhere, you're all good.

[ahpook]

30 minutes ago, neepheid said:

 

I looked up "bass player" definition and I didn't see "makes logical sense" anywhere, you're all good.

 

I think he's got you there

 

[Cosmo Valdemar]

On 12/10/2023 at 11:41, chris_b said:

I'll retire when the phone stops ringing. . . .  or I start pushing up daisy's. Which ever comes first.

 

 

 

 

Pushing up Daisy's what?!

 

 

[Bluewine]

On 12/10/2023 at 19:07, chris_b said:

 

You're lucky you've got sides on it!

 

I've also done gigs with 2 small marquees pushed together. That meant the rain ran through the join and on to the drum kit!

 

And guess what, the weather changed for the better the day of the gig.

 

This is what we looked like inside. Not too bad.

 

Daryl

[Lozz196]

The backing vocalists clearly aren`t on the food rider..............

[12stringbassist]

I can definitely see an end to me gigging at some point in the not too distant future.
I'm getting to that age now where I'm sick of dealing with landlords and other musicians who are just difficult.
Carting a big car full of gear around is hard work three nights a week.
I enjoy the playing, but most of what goes with it irritates me or bores me rigid.
Next year's diary is not filling up like I want it to, and part of me says 'oh good' as my health could be a lot better.
There will come a point where I either slow it down a bit, or failing that, I'll just decide to stop.

[AndyTravis]

4 minutes ago, 12stringbassist said:

I can definitely see an end to me gigging at some point in the not too distant future.
I'm getting to that age now where I'm sick of dealing with landlords and other musicians who are just difficult.
Carting a big car full of gear around is hard work three nights a week.
I enjoy the playing, but most of what goes with it irritates me or bores me rigid.
Next year's diary is not filling up like I want it to, and part of me says 'oh good' as my health could be a lot better.
There will come a point where I either slow it down a bit, or failing that, I'll just decide to stop.

To be fair - you always seem to be busy, I admire the updates but also think “god that’s a bit much” 🫣

[12stringbassist]

There's a few levels of semi-pro gigging musician.
* Those who do it rarely and so they really enjoy it when they do it and it's not the centre of their life.
* Those who go out every couple of weeks and that's enough.
* The one I guess that I fall into - If it's a day with and F or an S in it and nobody's booked it off, we'll go out.
* The 6 nights a week gang. Few and far between.

I finished work in 2015 and took my Civil service pension a bit early.
The band I was in worked solidly and the income topped up towards my salary with a shorter working week.

The other two guys in my current band pretty much do this for their living, so I'm a bit driven to fill the diary up. I reckon a couple of years more of this at the pace we are at (I have a target date for starting going down to 4 gigs a month and maybe fortnightly jam nights), providing my health doesn't deteriorate, will do. Then it will be a case of slowing it down a bit. I get VERRRRRY tired, having had some more cancer treatment this year. Winter scares me with all the gear humping I do.

The band's in that nice state of coasting along with an amount of following and reputation in our own area and we all know the songs and play them really well. It can be a lot of fun. We get on most of the time.

We play covers and I can't interest everyone in the band in some of the music I like and it's frustrating. 'Never heard of Suede' they say. I'd like to change the setlist a bit, but it's getting to be like a night in the museum at times, due to the reluctance to join in.

 

It's probably a case of one morning I will wake up and just think I've had enough. Or my body will inform me that I am going to slow down.

Edited October 17, 2023 by 12stringbassist

[neepheid]

Never heard of Suede.  Brett Anderson'll be fuming! 

[Geek99]

21 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

The backing vocalists clearly aren`t on the food rider..............

Or it’s been a really, really long set 

[Mickeyboro]

4 hours ago, neepheid said:

Never heard of Suede.  Brett Anderson'll be fuming! 

Eh? I thought he said Slade!😈

[Linus27]

3 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

Eh? I thought he said Slade!😈

 

I thought he said Sade

[12stringbassist]

4 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

Eh? I thought he said Slade!😈

They know about Slade.

I was offered the bass job with them in the 90s and have published a few books about them.

 

[LukeFRC]

11 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

To be fair - you always seem to be busy, I admire the updates but also think “god that’s a bit much” 🫣

compared to your professional life @AndyTravis it must be a breeze! 

[Woodinblack]

11 hours ago, 12stringbassist said:

* The one I guess that I fall into - If it's a day with and F or an S in it and nobody's booked it off, we'll go out.
* The 6 nights a week gang. Few and far between.

 

Aren't they the same?