Anyone else just ready to give up?

[solo4652]

I'm having a pause for thought too. I moved from Manchester to Devon just over a year ago and was lucky enough to join a decent pub covers band pretty much straight away. As usual, I threw loads of time and home practice at the setlist to ensure I wasn't arriving for rehearsals under-prepared, or delaying gigging. The band has struggled to find gigs, mainly due to the (un)availability of a couple of members. For example, I managed to get us 3 gigs in the summer, only to be told that the band was having a "much-needed summer break for family time" for two months. I felt that I wasn't getting the return on the time and committment investments I'd put in.

 

So I decided to put together my own band to run alongside the main band. Perfectly possible for me since I'm full-time retired. I've put bands together before, but I'd forgotten just how hard it is. New band has guitarist, drummer, bassist, rehearsal room, and gig prospects in place. But female singer we had lined up can't seem to get over her sore throat. We're talking to another singer but, already, I'm starting to wish I hadn't bothered. At least I've been able to play the songs I wanted to play and have a lot of input into setlist and band line-up. 

 

Nothing new here, of course. I suppose I'm saying that stopping playing is not something I've considered. Changing what I'm playing, and the people around me, has kept me going. So far.

 

 

[dclaassen]

I almost quit after the covers band I was with went a year without a gig. After sitting in with a few groups, I stumbled into a country band the seems destined to do everything but get gig-ready. Finally, I got a steady dep gig with another country group of great guys. I’m pretty happy about how it’s headed now.

[meterman]

The last band I used to play with in the UK have just announced tour dates for next year, with tickets online. Massive demand, sold out album, etc.
 

I think even if I was still in the UK I’d struggle to make it to a rehearsal let alone the likes of Islington Academy. I’m just done. Finito.
 

I’d go and see them live if it was possible though, and have a pint with them, but the thought of the slog of touring is pretty much an instant soft-on now. 

[Woodinblack]

45 minutes ago, dclaassen said:

I almost quit after the covers band I was with went a year without a gig.

 

I would assume that a covers band that went a year without a gig had already folded.

[Bluewine]

I brag a lot about my band. They're young,smart, fair and generous to a fault. We've been together since 2007.

 

Maple Road gave me everything I'd ever wanted in a band.When and if this band folds that will be it for me. I'm too spoiled and I'm 70.

 

I'll go out on a high note.

 

Daryl

[ezbass]

On 11/11/2023 at 14:07, AndyTravis said:

I did a rehearse

And… how did it go? Don’t leave us hanging.

[AndyTravis]

2 hours ago, ezbass said:

And… how did it go? Don’t leave us hanging.

Oh sorry mate, yeah - 2 rehearsals in. Great group of people - having fun.

 

Not playing my best currently which I need to sort.

[dclaassen]

On 23/11/2023 at 18:08, Woodinblack said:

 

I would assume that a covers band that went a year without a gig had already folded.

Funny enough, I’m the only one in the group who has come to that conclusion….

[Al Krow]

On 23/11/2023 at 17:38, meterman said:

The last band I used to play with in the UK have just announced tour dates for next year, with tickets online. Massive demand, sold out album, etc.
 

I think even if I was still in the UK I’d struggle to make it to a rehearsal let alone the likes of Islington Academy. I’m just done. Finito.
 

I’d go and see them live if it was possible though, and have a pint with them, but the thought of the slog of touring is pretty much an instant soft-on now. 

Sounds like a bit of a dream band - can we ask who they are, if you're comfortable with sharing? 

 

What caused you to fall out of love with playing live - is it something you could get back into if it didn't involve touring? 

[Norris]

Absolutely not. I feel like I'm playing better than ever - after 38 years of gigging... and counting. So, I may not feel like it every time I load the car up, especially after a full day's work on a Friday. I always enjoy it though and I'm far from ready to call it a day.

 

Buying a 5 stringer in January has given me something new to focus on this year and has done wonders for my technique too

[meterman]

1 hour ago, Al Krow said:

Sounds like a bit of a dream band - can we ask who they are, if you're comfortable with sharing? 

 

What caused you to fall out of love with playing live - is it something you could get back into if it didn't involve touring? 

Yes, it’s this lot: https://www.ents24.com/uk/tour-dates/the-bees 

although I toured with them when they’d morphed into this: 

https://amp.theguardian.com/music/2018/jul/06/77-78-jellies-review-heavenly
 

And I still DJ with one of the guys and we’ve done a record together so we’re all good. I didn’t really fall out of love with playing live, I’d got to the point where I was playing decent gigs with artists I loved and the pay was usually good, sometimes great. 
 

But my last band gig was in December 2019, and then I didn’t have any tour dates pencilled in until March / April 2020, by which time covid had happened, so everything got cancelled. Then in November 2020 I emigrated to France, to an area that’s not overpopulated with musicians. I did one solo gig last year but that probably will be my last.

 

The other major deciding factor was my wife reaching stage 4 of cancer, and I’m her primary carer. I barely have time to chop firewood or make soup, let alone go on tour. I still make records as that’s my only source of income, but I can do those when I get a spare moment without leaving the house.

 

And I still get offers to tour but it’s not feasible given my family situation. I’d love to do the occasional one nighter with mates, but that’s unlikely now. Can’t complain though, I’ve had a decent crack at it 👍

[Franticsmurf]

Oh the irony. During the lifetime of this topic I have come to realise that the three piece 'new band' I referred to in my first post (don't bother looking back) isn't working. The initial excitement of the challenge (I put it together to play a support slot of my main band, The Hulla, in June) didn't really follow through for various reasons - mainly the lack of enthusiasm from the other two members. I suspect the geetard was more interested in telling his mates he was in a band than actually being in a band, (judging by the number of times he asked for links to his guitar solos in videos on YouTube which I'd taken only for us to see what we looked like) and neither of them did anything unless I pushed for it. The final straw was when I took a break to travel for a couple of weeks and I asked them to keep working on stuff like cues, intros and endings and a song the geetard has been 'learning' since July so that when I got back we could start looking for gigs. Shortly after I left, the geetard sent a message on the group chat to the effect 'it's pointless doing anything now as it's so close to Christmas'.

 

I took that to be The Writing, daubed clearly and in big letters on the wall. I had a chat with the drummer (we're mates and we play together in the Hulla band) and sent the group chat my resignation. With hindsight, I had my doubts about a month or so ago and should have acted then but I wanted to make sure I'd tried everything. 

 

So, New Year, new project (hopefully) but with a bit more care taken over picking the people involved.

[Supernaut]

17 hours ago, Bluewine said:

I brag a lot about my band. They're young,smart, fair and generous to a fault. We've been together since 2007.

 

Maple Road gave me everything I'd ever wanted in a band.When and if this band folds that will be it for me. I'm too spoiled and I'm 70.

 

I'll go out on a high note.

 

Daryl

If I'm ever in Milwaukee again, I will give you a shout. 

[Al Krow]

17 hours ago, Bluewine said:

I brag a lot about my band. They're young,smart, fair and generous to a fault. We've been together since 2007.

 

Maple Road gave me everything I'd ever wanted in a band.When and if this band folds that will be it for me. I'm too spoiled and I'm 70.

 

I'll go out on a high note.

 

Daryl

Very cool! 

 

When you say "young" what's the age range of the rest of your crew? 

[Bluewine]

21 hours ago, dclaassen said:

Funny enough, I’m the only one in the group who has come to that conclusion….

 

I think it's sad when gigs dry up there's no communication and the band falls apart with no proper closure.

 

Daryl

[Bluewine]

6 hours ago, Al Krow said:

Very cool! 

 

When you say "young" what's the age range of the rest of your crew? 

 

Late 30s and early 40s.

 

Daryl

Edited November 25, 2023 by Bluewine

[Bluewine]

6 hours ago, Supernaut said:

If I'm ever in Milwaukee again, I will give you a shout. 

 

 

Please do.

 

Daryl

[Bluewine]

8 hours ago, Franticsmurf said:

 

So, New Year, new project (hopefully) but with a bit more care taken over picking the people involved.

 

I had a buddy that spent 6 months putting a 4 peice together. There was a rotten apple in the bunch. They should have seen the red flags. Anyway at the end of 6 months of prep and rehearsals the rotten apple bailed. By that time the enthusiasm was gone and the project was canned.

 

Daryl

Edited November 25, 2023 by Bluewine

[Bluewine]

On 25/10/2023 at 03:25, Al Krow said:

 

 

What is "sufficiently good" is going to differ depending on what people want from the project.  E.g. a hobby band playing pubs once a month can take a more relaxed "fun" approach vs semi-pro musicians looking to make a decent part time living from being working musicians playing function gigs where a greater degree of professionalism and musicianship is going to be required as the entry ticket.

 

 

In my neck of the woods at the local or regional level you can't make a living playing in a band.

 

Even if you were working your butt off you'd be hard pressed to clear 12k annually. 

 

Blue

[Al Krow]

12 hours ago, Bluewine said:

 

Late 30s and early 40s.

 

Daryl

 

Have you had the same line up since 2007 or have there been a few personnel changes during that time? Be amazing if you haven't!

 

12 hours ago, Bluewine said:

 

In my neck of the woods at the local or regional level you can't make a living playing in a band.

 

Even if you were working your butt off you'd be hard pressed to clear 12k annually. 

 

Blue

 

Is that $USD 12k each i.e. (about £9.5k)?

 

I'm aware there's some who are making $25k / £20k per band member on this side of the pond from covers/function work, but they will likely be part of very successful function bands and that level of earnings won't be true for most. I guess that could be sufficient to live off if you were single or at least make a pretty decent dent in living expenses. There will be a bunch in a similar earnings bracket for individual band members to the figures you've said and I suspect plenty more getting half that again.

 

[fretmeister]

Well. Tomorrow is my last gig with the band. It’s a multiple ensemble show and aside from the big band I’m playing in a couple of the others as well.

 

It’s definitely the right decision to leave as I don’t actually want to do the gig at all. But of course I’m not an @rse so I will give it my all. 
 

Hopefully find some greener pastures after a break.

 

 

[Fishfacefour]

Well I had a really draining day today, i was feeling exhausted and flat but just made the effort to blast through some songs on headphones and I feel like myself again! The power of bass! 

[Japhet]

It can certainly be frustrating. I play regularly in 2 bands. In one we rehearse regularly but there's always someone who can't make a gig. Sometimes really trivial reasons. So much work and expense for very little in return. The other band, we've never rehearsed once. We get plenty of local gigs and make reasonable money, but it's very difficult to add anything into the setlist and it's getting a bit boring and stale. I'm also getting old and have back and shoulder problems so that doesn't help. I don't want to throw the towel in because a gig nearly always gives me a bit of a lift, even if I suffer a bit for it. It's the only time in my life that anyone applauds something I do. I'm hopefully moving house soon so that might be a catalyst for change, one way or another. I have problems imagining being surrounded by all the lovely stuff I own with no use real for any of it.

[Burns-bass]

2 minutes ago, Japhet said:

It can certainly be frustrating. I play regularly in 2 bands. In one we rehearse regularly but there's always someone who can't make a gig. Sometimes really trivial reasons. So much work and expense for very little in return. The other band, we've never rehearsed once. We get plenty of local gigs and make reasonable money, but it's very difficult to add anything into the setlist and it's getting a bit boring and stale. I'm also getting old and have back and shoulder problems so that doesn't help. I don't want to throw the towel in because a gig nearly always gives me a bit of a lift, even if I suffer a bit for it. It's the only time in my life that anyone applauds something I do. I'm hopefully moving house soon so that might be a catalyst for change, one way or another. I have problems imagining being surrounded by all the lovely stuff I own with no use real for any of it.

I really hate this, and have experienced it before.

 

I’m in one band and we all sat down at the start and agreed it was a priority for us to work together and get stuff right. They accept I’m the only one with kids, but they push me to get out and get on with stuff, which I really like.

 

Some people, it seems to me, love the idea of a band but struggle with the reality and commitment - which can lead to stress and frustration among the others. 

 

 

[Franticsmurf]

1 hour ago, Burns-bass said:

Some people, it seems to me, love the idea of a band but struggle with the reality and commitment

Yes, this is exactly what I experienced recently. The person concerned loved the idea that he was in a band but when it came to actually stepping up, taking some responsibility and 'doing it', there were excuses and late finishes. He also kept suggesting new songs to add and it became very obvious from his suggestions that they were simply songs in which he could show off his guitar soloing prowess.