Anyone else just ready to give up?

[MacDaddy]

90% of being in a band is turning up when you say you will.

[Japhet]

1 minute ago, MacDaddy said:

90% of being in a band is turning up when you say you will.

 

I'd rather have a good band member than a good musician who doesn't pull their weight aside from performing.

[fretmeister]

I did my last gig.

 

Funnily enough as I no longer gave a crap I think I played far better than I have for at least a year! It's not like Count Basie tunes are easy either, I usually have to concentrate quite a lot. Strange how the brain works sometimes.

 

 

[martthebass]

On 24/11/2023 at 20:03, Bluewine said:

I brag a lot about my band. They're young,smart, fair and generous to a fault. We've been together since 2007.

 

Maple Road gave me everything I'd ever wanted in a band.When and if this band folds that will be it for me. I'm too spoiled and I'm 70.

 

I'll go out on a high note.

 

Daryl

Think I'm the same Daryl, after a number of cover bands that had mixed success I managed to find myself in a 70s Glam Rock band now 7 years ago.  Great bunch of guys but I'm pretty much set that when this band comes to a conclusion then I'll definitely be done with routine gigging.

[Marc S]

Am I ready to give up? No way.

 

I'll tell you why this is, and bearing in mind, like everyone else, I've had the usual run of let-downs, other musicians unreliability, bad venues / venue owners etc....

 

I started playing in the early 80's and grew to love playing the bass. I was in a couple of bands - we were all young and had dreams of a future where we would enjoy some unspecified level of "success".

 

But after just a few years, myself and bandmates had moved away, got married, had kids and put our instruments down.....

 

Years on, and by chance, my ex wife gave my teenage son a bass for Christmas. That sparked something in me. I picked up the bass I'd kept in a case under the bed. I couldn't remember much or get my fingers working properly - but it was fun to work out baselines again, and do so with my son.

 

Years later, and I rediscovered the buzz I get from playing music and see and hear people dancing, singing along and just enjoying live music. I love live music myself, and I have rediscovered the joy of playing.... after an absence of almost 25 years.

 

I've had lots of good gigs, and many brilliant gigs. I've met loads of great friends through live music, and since I started my second musical journey, I have never looked back. 

 

I cannot now ever envisage a time when I no longer play. And I continue to really enjoy playing.... and long may that continue.

 

Apologies for the long reply - but that's how I feel, and I hope that everyone thinking of quitting, or has a change of heart - maybe even take a short break and try a different style or genre?

 

[christhammer666]

im 44 and ready to get back on the horse after sever depression a sujicide attempt and the death of my father. im only just starting it feels like.i cant imagine a time when i no longer have the desire to play

[Burns-bass]

5 hours ago, christhammer666 said:

im 44 and ready to get back on the horse after sever depression a sujicide attempt and the death of my father. im only just starting it feels like.i cant imagine a time when i no longer have the desire to play

Wishing you the best of luck. Music genuinely does save lives some times. I’m hoping you find a band that you’re happy with. If the joy of music ever leaves you, hope you find something to fill the void. 
 

Personally, I found playing in front of people in a band rekindled my love for all things bass. 

[AndyTravis]

Back to rehearsing on the weekly…

 

looking forward to Sunday.

 

we’re set and have social media presence etc.

 

2 songs ready to record and release with about 4/5 to work a bit more on.

[AndyTravis]

3 hours ago, Burns-bass said:

Wishing you the best of luck. Music genuinely does save lives some times. 

I’ve done a talk to various people called “how music saved my life” - it works a treat.

 

It really stopped me from making some odd decisions when I was younger.

[Dov65]

Definitely not me at 58, I started jamming with 2 old school mates roughly 6 months ago but family issues got in the way which knocked it on the head. Definitely upped my game at the time and really can’t wait until we start hopefully after the festive season is oot the windae. Our aim is open mike nights…no big deal, stress or issues just 3 old mates having a good time

[Burns-bass]

8 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

I’ve done a talk to various people called “how music saved my life” - it works a treat.

 

It really stopped me from making some odd decisions when I was younger.

Yep, it’s a wonderful thing we can all do. Sometimes it’s worth reflecting on it.

 

I’ve been invited to audition for a tribute act playing stuff I loved when I was 15. They gig all over and it’s well paid, and it’s quite funny how I’ve gone forward and then gone back in my musical journey…

 

Whats also hilarious is (independently of you) I was shopping for a Ripper bass.

[AndyTravis]

54 minutes ago, Burns-bass said:

Yep, it’s a wonderful thing we can all do. Sometimes it’s worth reflecting on it.

 

I’ve been invited to audition for a tribute act playing stuff I loved when I was 15. They gig all over and it’s well paid, and it’s quite funny how I’ve gone forward and then gone back in my musical journey…

 

Whats also hilarious is (independently of you) I was shopping for a Ripper bass.

There are a few lovely ones on ebay

[ahpook]

Well, just to air my thoughts...

 

The guitarist has had one jam with this drummer he's so hugely keen on that he's waited 3 months for the chap to be available whilst he works on his house.

 

Is he any good ? No. No better than the original dummer we got rid of, and the guitarist thinks he's great..

 

A couple of quick chats with the singer shows he's as completely unmotivated as me and thinks it's all over bar the shouting. It's become very clear to me that, although a lovely chap and a good musician, the guitarist doesn't realise that we need a good drummer, not just someone he gets on with.

 

So it's just hanging in the air at the moment. The guitarist is all full of vim and vigour for the new year, but this is dead in the water. It's 15 months (yes...I know !) since we first got together. It's over, if it ever even started. If I had something else lined up I'd just knock it on the head.

 

If I even want something else, it all seems like one long hiding to nowhere.

 

Thanks for reading, just a bit boring a moan, really.

Edited December 16, 2023 by ahpook

[Jackroadkill]

20 hours ago, christhammer666 said:

im 44 and ready to get back on the horse after sever depression a sujicide attempt and the death of my father. im only just starting it feels like.i cant imagine a time when i no longer have the desire to play

 

It seems we have some similarities; it was getting my head sorted that led me to pick up the bass and get a band together with my friends, so I'm just starting too.  I'm very glad to know that the bass is working for you.

[Jackroadkill]

1 hour ago, ahpook said:

Well, just to air my thoughts...

 

The guitarist has had one jam with this drummer he's so hugely keen on that he's waited 3 months for the chap to be available whilst he works on his house.

 

Is he any good ? No. No better than the original dummer we got rid of, and the guitarist thinks he's great..

 

A couple of quick chats with the singer shows he's as completely unmotivated as me and thinks it's all over bar the shouting. It's become very clear to me that, although a lovely chap and a good musician, the guitarist doesn't realise that we need a good drummer, not just someone he gets on with.

 

So it's just hanging in the air at the moment. The guitarist is all full of vim and vigour for the new year, but this is dead in the water. It's 15 months (yes...I know !) since we first got together. It's over, if it ever even started. If I had something else lined up I'd just knock it on the head.

 

If I even want something else, it all seems like one long hiding to nowhere.

 

Thanks for reading, just a bit boring a moan, really.

 

It sounds like it's time for yourself and the singer to branch out on your own and find some more inspiring musicians to play with.  I think that's what I'd be doing if I found myself in that position.

[ahpook]

1 hour ago, Jackroadkill said:

 

It sounds like it's time for yourself and the singer to branch out on your own and find some more inspiring musicians to play with.  I think that's what I'd be doing if I found myself in that position.

 

We've both tried - I think that's why we've holding onto hope. Our age seems to be a stumbling block, for starters. Anyhow...

 

...thing is, and I think I said this earlier, I said to myself this was going to the last band I was going to join. Years of false starts and wasted time have just so sapped my enthusiasm that I can't see the point of it...am I just going through the motions ?

 

Sometimes I feel like that apocryphal soldier, square-bashing on a tropical beach, the war is over, but I've not realised...so I just carry on drilling for the battle that will never come. What else is there to do ?

 

Ack, it gets me down when I think about it.

 

 

Edited December 16, 2023 by ahpook

[Jackroadkill]

1 hour ago, ahpook said:

 

We've both tried - I think that's why we've holding onto hope. Our age seems to be a stumbling block, for starters. Anyhow...

 

...thing is, and I think I said this earlier, I said to myself this was going to the last band I was going to join. Years of false starts and wasted time have just so sapped my enthusiasm that I can't see the point of it...am I just going through the motions ?

 

Sometimes I feel like that apocryphal soldier, square-bashing on a tropical beach, the war is over, but I've not realised...so I just carry on drilling for the battle that will never come. What else is there to do ?

 

Ack, it gets me down when I think about it.

 

 

 

I did the same; many attempts to get a band together, many false starts.  I gave up completely and didn't touch an instrument for a few years.  I drifted back to playing guitar after a friend persuaded me to jam, but that didn't go anywhere particularly (although we wrote some great songs and had lots of fun playing them), and when it was obvious that it wasn't going to be a long term thing I had a word with myself and thought: what exactly do I want from playing music?  It turned out that fame, fast cars and success wasn't what I wanted at all - I just wanted to have fun with my friends, so I did what I thought I'd never do, and formed a covers band at the age of 43, moving to bass as I did so.  I've never enjoyed playing as much as I am now.

 

Perhaps tossing it all in is what you need to do, I don't know.  What I do know is that until I changed what wasn't working, I was in that endless cycle of starting bands and them slipping through my fingers until it was no fun.

Edited December 16, 2023 by Jackroadkill

[Franticsmurf]

2 hours ago, ahpook said:

Sometimes I feel like that apocryphal soldier, square-bashing on a tropical beach, the war is over, but I've not realised...so I just carry on drilling for the battle that will never come. What else is there to do ?

 

Ack, it gets me down when I think about it.

Take a complete break. Weeks or months, but enough of a gap so you can start fresh. At that point you can reassess (as @Jackroadkill say above) and you'll know whether you want to actively try again, see what comes your way up or retire from the music scene. The worst thing to do is to make that kind of decision right now, while the situation is raw and the emotion is in charge. The important thing is to be in control of that decision - in other words, don't just wait for the band to fade out but step away on your own terms, take a break on your own terms and make a comeback on your own terms. 

 

Good luck. 

[ahpook]

1 hour ago, Jackroadkill said:

 

I did the same; many attempts to get a band together, many false starts.  I gave up completely and didn't touch an instrument for a few years.  I drifted back to playing guitar after a friend persuaded me to jam, but that didn't go anywhere particularly (although we wrote some great songs and had lots of fun playing them), and when it was obvious that it wasn't going to be a long term thing I had a word with myself and thought: what exactly do I want from playing music?  It turned out that fame, fast cars and success wasn't what I wanted at all - I just wanted to have fun with my friends, so I did what I thought I'd never do, and formed a covers band at the age of 43, moving to bass as I did so.  I've never enjoyed playing as much as I am now.

 

Perhaps tossing it all in is what you need to do, I don't know.  What I do know is that until I changed what wasn't working, I was in that endless cycle of starting bands and them slipping through my fingers until it was no fun.

 

Nice work with the covers band 👍

 

I never wanted fame...just to make some music I'd enjoy playing with some nice people and make a decent fist of it. Something to say 'We did that, and it's good' about.

 

You're right - it is a change I need...it may be why this band just hanging in the air irks me so much...I want to say "I'm done" and this stops me.

 

And also why I've not yet done the obvious thing and left the band, as it means a certain finality has arrived.

[ahpook]

13 minutes ago, Franticsmurf said:

The important thing is to be in control of that decision - in other words, don't just wait for the band to fade out but step away on your own terms, take a break on your own terms and make a comeback on your own terms. 

 

Good luck. 

 

Thanks, much appreciated.

 

As I said to @Jackroadkill, I think that decision needs to be made, despite what it signifies. You are indeed right.

Edited December 16, 2023 by ahpook

[Jackroadkill]

2 hours ago, ahpook said:

 

And also why I've not yet done the obvious thing and left the band, as it means a certain finality has arrived.

 

That's very true, and making the leap can take a surprising amount of courage.  Do what's right for you when it's right for you, and look after your head afterwards.

[ahpook]

10 minutes ago, Jackroadkill said:

 

That's very true, and making the leap can take a surprising amount of courage.  Do what's right for you when it's right for you, and look after your head afterwards.

 

Thanks, and thanks for the advice folks, it's helped.

[Bluewine]

On 24/10/2023 at 18:42, chris_b said:

 

It's always nice when you play with good people, but you can't beat good players. In the past I have done many great gigs in bands run by total a-holes who were good musicians, but they were great gigs. As long as they're not cheating on the money, I'm not going to complain. 

 

These days I seem to be meeting and playing with good bands, musicians and people. There are not enough gigs, but even so I'm living in good times.

 

As long as your getting good players that have the right attitude, experience, commitment and personality for your band your off to a good start.

 

Daryl

[AndyTravis]

Well.

 

studio booked for January.

 

i haven’t given up.

 

even though i nearly did

[Burns-bass]

2 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

Well.

 

studio booked for January.

 

i haven’t given up.

 

even though i nearly did

Love a studio session. 
 

Music is mad sometimes, just have to enjoy the ride. Got my audition with the tribute band. Set up my bass with Rotos with a low action and that 90s clank from my EBS amp.

 

Let’s see how it goes. As long as it’s fun, it’s worth doing.