Anyone else just ready to give up?

[Bassfinger]

I'm still heavily into it.  Sure, I have days or even weeks where I'm not digging it so much but I plough on with the practice and always come out the other side as keen as ever.

 

I like gigging, but there are limits.  I'm nearer 60 than 50 now and even the best gigs are an effort, not helped by being my own roadie. Our singist didn't want a heavy Christmas gigging calendar so after two gigs in early December we called it quits for the year, and I was secretly quite glad.  That said, we resume the weekend after next, big corporate awards evening gig, and after a month off I'm hot to trot.

 

I guess its a case of finding a balance, and as life and enthusiasm changes the pivot point for that balance is constantly changing as well. I only have one sprog left at home and don't have the pressures of work etc that others might face so I can see how others might already have their bull***t cup almost full to overflowing before they even start thinking about playing.

[TRBboy]

19 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

Hi mate - love is found. Literally as this thread took off - I got hooked up with something already rolling…

 

Very different to my last band (who were like a 1990’s Chilis type thing)…

 

This is like an indie project, pretty cool.

 

Anyhow, had a fair few rehearsals and we’re starting recording soon…

Fantastic news Andy! Really pleased for you mate 😊👍

[Lfalex v1.1]

Conversely, I just left the band I was in.

Some aspects were great, but I would've lost 3 weeks' worth of holiday to Festival dates on Saturdays (they wanted to do 12)

I didn't see anyone else making that degree of sacrifice.

There was a discussion about priorities.

Mine stacked up like this;

 

1) Partner

2) My health- I need to be alive to play

3) Job- It pays the bills and keeps a roof over my head. 

4) Music

 

Theirs were differently aligned. 

 

I left now to give them time to find a replacement,  and we parted on (fairly) good terms. 

 

I lasted a month, and feel like I've offloaded another millstone.

 

Don't think I'll be headed back to the band arena for a good while.  If at all.

[Lozz196]

Think you made the right call there

[dmccombe7]

14 hours ago, Lfalex v1.1 said:

 

There was a discussion about priorities.

Mine stacked up like this;

 

1) Partner

2) My health- I need to be alive to play

3) Job- It pays the bills and keeps a roof over my head. 

4) Music

 

Priorities are spot on.

Everyone should stick by this list even non-musicians will learn a lot from it. Just listening to music as No4 can be relaxing and give a huge amount of enjoyment.

Well done.

Dave 

[Alfie]

I gigged a lot in my 20s, then family happened. The lost years. I reckon I went months, maybe years not touching a bass except to move it the get to something else. Encouraged by the pupils I teach, who had unearthed one of my old bands, I restarted in my late 30s with a talented originals band, just done our first recording and have some promising gigs lined up, but everything has just imploded because of an argument over an album cover, the band is apparantly dead. 

 

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

[Lozz196]

Of course you can @Alfie, I was 48 (we were all of similar age) when I joined my last band, an originals street-punk/Oi band. We played all over GB and Europe, released 4 albums, did festivals etc. I left 4 years ago but they’re still going strong. Age isn’t a barrier once you find like-minded individuals to work with.

[Boodang]

43 minutes ago, Alfie said:

I gigged a lot in my 20s, then family happened. The lost years. I reckon I went months, maybe years not touching a bass except to move it the get to something else. Encouraged by the pupils I teach, who had unearthed one of my old bands, I restarted in my late 30s with a talented originals band, just done our first recording and have some promising gigs lined up, but everything has just imploded because of an argument over an album cover, the band is apparantly dead. 

 

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

I think it's more about attitude than age. I'm in a covers and originals band, and I'm by far the oldest. In fact some of their dads are younger than me! But I don't care. I'm having tons of fun, the audience don't seem to mind. I might bring more wrinkles to the band but I also bring experience which seems to be appreciated, so I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 

PS 40 is young!!

Edited January 4 by Boodang

[Wolverinebass]

1 hour ago, Alfie said:

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

With the greatest respect, that's not true. I'm 44 and in the 2 best originals bands I've ever been in at the same time!!

 

Admittedly, I did help out a band I produced for about 2 years because they couldn't get anyone permanent and recently the singer said I was too old. It's fair to say that I probably look 5-10 years younger than I really am. In actuality, the singer realised he had no control over what I played (he wanted an 8th note plodder - which I'll never be) and I don't take being told what to do. Suggestions, okay. Anyway, no big deal. One can't control other people's insecurity. It was his band so the fact nobody agreed with him was irrelevant and I got politely thanked and asked to not play live for a band I wasn't even officially in.

 

In my other bands, nobody tells anyone what to do. Even if you didn't write the songs, nobody is going to tell you what to play.

 

Also, I recorded a thrash metal band a month ago. Both the guitarists were in their early/mid 20s. The bass player was 41. They didn't care. Why? Because he was excellent. Only people with delusions will discount you just for your age. It'll never be a talent thing and always an image thing. Those bands that are concerned with image over musical talent aren't worth entertaining as they always without fail are the vanity project of one or more of the members who think they're going to "make it big" or want to satisfy their own rampant ego.

[neepheid]

48 and still in an originals band here.

[AndyTravis]

@Wolverinebass we’re all late 30’s early 40’s…think I’m the baby at 39.

 

Playing originals - And we all contribute.

 

Like you - I HATE being told what to play or how to play it. But I’m getting better at realising what works and what doesn’t again after years of “knocking sheds together” in a bass led funk band….

 

We won’t gig as much as I used to in my teens and 20’s - but, we’ll pick and choose.

 

Something I wish I’d done more of in my teens and 20’s - played some real dives early on.

[ahpook]

The guitarist has been in contact, seeing if I want to 'jam' with this drummer. I don't see how you can 'jam' mathrock so this suggests to me that he's not nailed the songs properly.

 

If there's a bass amp for me to use, I might go along for an hour. I feel like I should give this chap a (brief) crack of the whip...

 

...although a very large part of me feels it'll be a waste of time.

 

Having trouble letting go, I guess.

 

[dmccombe7]

3 hours ago, Alfie said:

I gigged a lot in my 20s, then family happened. The lost years. I reckon I went months, maybe years not touching a bass except to move it the get to something else. Encouraged by the pupils I teach, who had unearthed one of my old bands, I restarted in my late 30s with a talented originals band, just done our first recording and have some promising gigs lined up, but everything has just imploded because of an argument over an album cover, the band is apparantly dead. 

 

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

I didn't restart playing in bands until i hit 50. I've been in a few originals bands but more prog than indie. They didn't come to much to be fair and then the Glam covers band came up with like minded guys and its just getting bigger and bigger since pandemic. I'm 63 and going strong albeit in covers band. I just enjoy gigging a lot more now than i ever did but i would have taken on almost any style of band to get experience after such a long lay-off

Appreciate you want to keep at the Indie originals bands but my main point is that age is not a barrier for any style of bands these days.

Keep at it @Alfie something else will come up or you could leave it a week or two and talk with the ex-band members to see if it can reconciled or those on same outlook as you can put something together.

All the best

Dave

[3below]

5 hours ago, Alfie said:

....I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

Originals band in my early 20s, then other life stuff like yours. Now in another originals band in my mid 60s. Never too old the challenge as always is finding the right people and music.

Edited January 4 by 3below
Spelling

[Gasman]

Our new keys player is late 40s, singer and drummer early 60s, guitarist 70 next bday, me on bass 73. We still rock the joint, I really believe that the longer you can keep playing, the younger you’ll get!

[Bluewine]

21 hours ago, Alfie said:

I gigged a lot in my 20s, then family happened. The lost years. I reckon I went months, maybe years not touching a bass except to move it the get to something else. Encouraged by the pupils I teach, who had unearthed one of my old bands, I restarted in my late 30s with a talented originals band, just done our first recording and have some promising gigs lined up, but everything has just imploded because of an argument over an album cover, the band is apparantly dead. 

 

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

 

I wish I was 40.

 

I'm 70 and didn't start gigging heavily until I was 57.

 

Daryl

Edited January 5 by Bluewine

[BigRedX]

14 hours ago, Alfie said:

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

 

Unless you want to write and play chart-orientated pop music, age is no longer any sort of barrier(unless being old in itself actually impacting on your ability to play and create). A few months before my 50th birthday I joined what has turned out to be my most successful originals band (and I've been in bands since I was 15). We were gigging all over the country and released two EPs, a mini album and a full-length album. I had to quit the covers band I was also in, because the originals band was more active (and better paid). Now in my 60s I'm in two different originals bands with a busy gigging schedules (both have gigs up to the end of 2024 already in the diary). One band which is relatively new are currently recording our debut album. The other who are more established are writing songs for our 4th. Both of my current bands are post-punk/goth influenced so obviously much of our audience and fellow bands are of a similar age, but there are a lot of much younger people in the audiences and a significant number of bands with members in their 20s playing gigs with us.

 

Age is only a barrier if you let it be one.

[Franticsmurf]

12 hours ago, Gasman said:

I really believe that the longer you can keep playing, the younger you’ll get!

I was 57 when I joined the Hulla band (covers), the 2nd youngest in the band. I'm in my mid 30's now. 🤣. 

 

47 minutes ago, BigRedX said:

Age is only a barrier if you let it be one.

I've just had this conversation with the drummer of the Hullas - 75 and working as the 1st call drummer for two big bands/dance bands and one jazz band as well as the Hullas. He's gigging or rehearsing at least three nights a week, regularly deps for bands around the area and was the drummer in my trio project playing rock covers until it folded last year. I hope I'm as active (and wanted) as he is when I get to that age. 

[Doctor J]

16 hours ago, Alfie said:

 

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

I'm hitting 50, haven't gigged or been in a band in almost 8 years and have never been busier, or happier, musically. It has never been easier, or cheaper, to record, so that's what I do now. I challenged myself to be more than "just" a bass player, explore genres of music as whim and the winds blew me and to be open to trying new things, new instruments, sounds, ideas, whatever, just to enjoy the creative process and general musicality without pigeonholing myself into whatever way I saw myself previously. It's not easy, there's lots of work and learning ahead, but it's immensely satisfying. There are lots of ways you can still scratch your musical itch once you move on from just seeing yourself as a bass player in an indie band.

[casapete]

36 minutes ago, Franticsmurf said:

I was 57 when I joined the Hulla band (covers), the 2nd youngest in the band. I'm in my mid 30's now. 🤣. 

 

I've just had this conversation with the drummer of the Hullas - 75 and working as the 1st call drummer for two big bands/dance bands and one jazz band as well as the Hullas. He's gigging or rehearsing at least three nights a week, regularly deps for bands around the area and was the drummer in my trio project playing rock covers until it folded last year. I hope I'm as active (and wanted) as he is when I get to that age. 

That is fantastic - anyone gigging at 75 needs respect but particular drummers IMO. The physicality of

playing drums is even more demanding with age, so good on him! 

[neepheid]

38 minutes ago, Doctor J said:

I'm hitting 50, haven't gigged or been in a band in almost 8 years and have never been busier, or happier, musically. It has never been easier, or cheaper, to record, so that's what I do now. I challenged myself to be more than "just" a bass player, explore genres of music as whim and the winds blew me and to be open to trying new things, new instruments, sounds, ideas, whatever, just to enjoy the creative process and general musicality without pigeonholing myself into whatever way I saw myself previously. It's not easy, there's lots of work and learning ahead, but it's immensely satisfying. There are lots of ways you can still scratch your musical itch once you move on from just seeing yourself as a bass player in an indie band.

 

You use "just" too much - I'm 48 and what, you think you're better than me because you're sitting at home all zen like and enlightened, not lugging gear to venues, playing to three people and a dog?

 

Ahh, I get it now!

 

Only kidding - each to their own, but I would miss the playing with others aspect too much to do what you're doing - and my songwriting extends beyond "just" playing bass - I write lyrics and I offer ideas to the other guys, not that I can play their instruments, but I can ask "can you do X, can you play it like Y, how would Z sound?" - TL:DR I enjoy the instant back and forth collaboration in a room.

[Doctor J]

I put it in inverted commas so as to try not to give that impression 😉

 

If bass is it, that's cool but, for me, keeping musically active once I stopped gigging required trying not to see myself as a bass player, "just" or no "just" 😁

 

The way Alfie phrased his text resonated with me in a way that perhaps it might open possibilities for him to consider a world beyond being "just" a bass player... if you know what I mean 🤘

[neepheid]

3 minutes ago, Doctor J said:

I put it in inverted commas so as to try not to give that impression 😉

 

If bass is it, that's cool but, for me, keeping musically active once I stopped gigging required trying not to see myself as a bass player, "just" or no "just" 😁

 

The way Alfie phrased his text resonated with me in a way that perhaps it might open possibilities for him to consider a world beyond being "just" a bass player... if you know what I mean 🤘

 

It's easier to assume I'm making light of something on here - I usually am, it's the only way to stop the voices in my head taking over... plus too many people take things waaaaay too seriously, someone's got to attempt to be the court jester around here.

 

I wish you every success in your varied sonic endeavours!

[Supernaut]

19 hours ago, Alfie said:

I gigged a lot in my 20s, then family happened. The lost years. I reckon I went months, maybe years not touching a bass except to move it the get to something else. Encouraged by the pupils I teach, who had unearthed one of my old bands, I restarted in my late 30s with a talented originals band, just done our first recording and have some promising gigs lined up, but everything has just imploded because of an argument over an album cover, the band is apparantly dead. 

 

I'm 40, probably too old to be in an originals band treading the unsigned indie circuit, but I have never had any interest in being in a covers band. I don't want to give up, but I can't see how I can continue.

Keep doing originals. Invest in a home recording set-up? I was in exactly the same predicament. Playing covers fills me with dread and IMO you're basically saying you are done with creating new music or can't do it anymore. The thought of punters screaming Wonderwall or Mustang Sally... *shudder*
 

There are musos who still want to play originals. Just much harder to find the older you get. 

[BigRedX]

18 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

There are musos who still want to play originals. Just much harder to find the older you get. 

 

Not in my experience. It was by far the oldest member of The Terrortones, but since I was writing most of the music, was in good health and didn't have any problem doing gigs all over the country, my age was never really a factor. In a lot ways if you are of any age where bringing up kids is no longer a concern and you might be considering winding down your employment hours, being in a band is a lot easier with regards to other commitments. The last time I was able to put as much effort into being in a band was in the 80s when I was unemployed. 

 

After The Terrortones stopped gigging I had no problem finding another band (or two) to play in - one where the rest of the band are of a similar age and another where there is a much wider range of ages. 

 

Plenty of people to be in bands with. You just need to right attitude.

Edited January 5 by BigRedX