Anyone else just ready to give up?

[TRBboy]

Well, after me saying earlier in this thread that our band was kinda stalling, it's all gone to shit this week. It's difficult after 13 years of stability and good times, and also because we're all really good, old friends first and foremost.

 

There's no drama involved, but the rhythm guitarist has decided to pack it in with immediate effect because he's just too stretched, he has 5 kids and a busy job, and just can't commit right now. The drummer is in a similar situation, although not quite as bad. He's going to honour the handful of gigs we have booked in so far this year.

 

So the singer/lead guitarist and I are busy trying to find some other musicians! Seems to be challenging around these parts..... I have a guitarist interested, but a drummer is going to be really tricky I think.

[Wolverinebass]

8 hours ago, Delberthot said:

Friday Gig - Aberdeen, Saturday gig - Bowness on Windermere! so the travelling was Falkirk > Aberdeen > Falkirk > Bowness on Windermere > Falkirk

Funnily enough, I'm actually from Falkirk myself. I can't say I'd be up for doing that amount of travelling.

[Wolverinebass]

8 hours ago, Delberthot said:

 

 

Edited January 28 by Wolverinebass
Duplicate post

[dmccombe7]

5 hours ago, TRBboy said:

Well, after me saying earlier in this thread that our band was kinda stalling, it's all gone to shit this week. It's difficult after 13 years of stability and good times, and also because we're all really good, old friends first and foremost.

 

There's no drama involved, but the rhythm guitarist has decided to pack it in with immediate effect because he's just too stretched, he has 5 kids and a busy job, and just can't commit right now. The drummer is in a similar situation, although not quite as bad. He's going to honour the handful of gigs we have booked in so far this year.

 

So the singer/lead guitarist and I are busy trying to find some other musicians! Seems to be challenging around these parts..... I have a guitarist interested, but a drummer is going to be really tricky I think.

Hopefully you'll get some replacements in that you also get along with. Don't just settle tho, try and get the right fit. Appreciate that's not an easy thing to find.

All the very best

Dave

[TRBboy]

Just now, dmccombe7 said:

Hopefully you'll get some replacements in that you also get along with. Don't just settle tho, try and get the right fit. Appreciate that's not an easy thing to find.

All the very best

Dave

Absolutely Dave, that is by far the hardest thing! I've been in plenty of bands over the years with people that didn't 'gel', and it's not fun. This band was so awesome because we're all good friends first and foremost, that all go back a very long way.

 

I'm searching as hard as I can, and using all the contacts I can think of, so hopefully something will materialise. Realising two things though; a) the local music scene is non-existent compared to 20 years ago, and b) I hardly know any local musos compared to 20 years ago 🤣

 

Fingers crossed it all works out though! 🤞

 

The most frustrating part is that we're getting loads of enquiries at the moment, but can't commit to anything! 🤦

[dmccombe7]

44 minutes ago, TRBboy said:

Absolutely Dave, that is by far the hardest thing! I've been in plenty of bands over the years with people that didn't 'gel', and it's not fun. This band was so awesome because we're all good friends first and foremost, that all go back a very long way.

 

I'm searching as hard as I can, and using all the contacts I can think of, so hopefully something will materialise. Realising two things though; a) the local music scene is non-existent compared to 20 years ago, and b) I hardly know any local musos compared to 20 years ago 🤣

 

Fingers crossed it all works out though! 🤞

 

The most frustrating part is that we're getting loads of enquiries at the moment, but can't commit to anything! 🤦

Must be quite annoying.

Don't give up, someone will come along that will slot right in. Positive thoughts. 👍

Dave

[Stub Mandrel]

I got to bed at 2am after our Friday gig, partly because I cooked a snack when I got back (I was starvin' marvin). Did wonder how much of this I could take.

 

Then woke up to a nice comment about my playing (from someone I don't know) on FB  and that was worth the 10 hour shift alone!

[SteveXFR]

Well I finished with the band with two gigs on consecutive nights, the first was brilliant, couldn't have been better. The second had terrible sound, we were the wrong support act so the audience weren't in to us and I got terrible hand cramp. Driving home I was glad I wouldn't have to do it again. 

I put all my gear up for sale and couldn't wait for it to go then I got enquiries and got doubts about giving up.

I'm confused 

[Lfalex v1.1]

I really wouldn't sell ALL your gear. 

Keep your favourite bass or two and favourite effects (or a multi)

If you haven't room for an amp, a small headphone one will do for when the itch returns and needs scratching. 

Edited February 4 by Lfalex v1.1

[KingBollock]

Are you having doubts about giving up the band you just left, or just in general? Maybe the enquiries piquing your interest might be a clue that what you really need is something new/different?

[SteveXFR]

14 minutes ago, KingBollock said:

Are you having doubts about giving up the band you just left, or just in general?

 

A little of each.

 

I only have one bass and one amp but the amp is 600w with a 4x10 so maybe I should downsize although smaller cabs seem to be more expensive than big ones

[Paolo85]

1 hour ago, SteveXFR said:

Well I finished with the band with two gigs on consecutive nights, the first was brilliant, couldn't have been better. The second had terrible sound, we were the wrong support act so the audience weren't in to us and I got terrible hand cramp. Driving home I was glad I wouldn't have to do it again. 

I put all my gear up for sale and couldn't wait for it to go then I got enquiries and got doubts about giving up.

I'm confused 

Well, from what you have said so far it seems it's not like you hate everything about being a bass player. It seems you hate a very specific thing that spoils something you otherwise love or at least like. I'd say it is ok to have doubts

[neepheid]

20 minutes ago, SteveXFR said:

 

A little of each.

 

I only have one bass and one amp but the amp is 600w with a 4x10 so maybe I should downsize although smaller cabs seem to be more expensive than big ones

 

Is your amp a combo or head and cab?  Sounds like head + cab by what you write here, but I wanted to check anyway.

Edited February 4 by neepheid

[Stub Mandrel]

1 hour ago, SteveXFR said:

Well I finished with the band with two gigs on consecutive nights, the first was brilliant, couldn't have been better. The second had terrible sound, we were the wrong support act so the audience weren't in to us and I got terrible hand cramp. Driving home I was glad I wouldn't have to do it again. 

I put all my gear up for sale and couldn't wait for it to go then I got enquiries and got doubts about giving up.

I'm confused 

 

You need the darker times to appreciate the good times. Keep the gear, youll find something with less pressure when you realise you still need to gig.

[SteveXFR]

9 hours ago, neepheid said:

 

Is your amp a combo or head and cab?  Sounds like head + cab by what you write here, but I wanted to check anyway.

 

Head and cab

[Burns-bass]

I did a gig yesterday and during it, I was really wondering why I bother. Then my friend came along for the second half with his mum who has Parkinson’s and we had a great chat and she loved the music. Didn’t matter that there were about 8 of them in the audience.

[Marc S]

11 hours ago, Lfalex v1.1 said:

I really wouldn't sell ALL your gear. 

Keep your favourite bass or two and favourite effects (or a multi)

If you haven't room for an amp, a small headphone one will do for when the itch returns and needs scratching. 

 

Definitely this @SteveXFR
Keep your amp head & get a smaller cab (or in future, maybe 2)
But definitely keep a bass - perhaps your favourite one. Perhaps take a short break, and then look for a new band / project.

I posted earlier on this thread, about how I was away from bass playing for almost 25 years - and now I'm back into bass and in bands. I'm enjoying it more now than I did when I was young. Plus, I'd really miss playing music if I had to give up now. Burns-bass's post above is a reminder of what live music can mean to others. As part of a Folk Club I sometimes play with, we played a couple of times at an old peoples home. The look on their faces, the singing along and some of them dancing with zimmer frames just made me smile. We did those gigs for free, to bring a little entertainment to some old folks, and I'm so glad we did. (reminder to self - must do that again sometime).

[Lfalex v1.1]

The drummer in the band I left now has a gong.

There's a few things I cannot tolerate in a band;

 

Gongs

Wind Chimes

Band members wearing their own merchandise. (I'll barely wear anything with conspicuous branding)

 

Looks like my exit was well-timed.

[neepheid]

1 hour ago, SteveXFR said:

 

Head and cab

 

Flog the cab, keep the head if A) it can be used headless and B) has headphone and aux in sockets, and keep the bass.  Luxuriate in the space getting rid of the 4x10 gives you back while you decide what you're doing - get a cab (or two small ones) if you ever decide to return to the stage.

[fretmeister]

On 13/12/2023 at 12:21, fretmeister said:

I did my last gig.

 

Funnily enough as I no longer gave a crap I think I played far better than I have for at least a year! It's not like Count Basie tunes are easy either, I usually have to concentrate quite a lot. Strange how the brain works sometimes.

 

 

 

 

Well, it's been about 2 months and I am missing playing with people - but I'm not missing that band so it was the right decision.

 

I'm actually starting to have more writing ideas now that the brain has cleared out a load of baggage. I've dug out my old lyric book and the 3/4 size classical guitar that I usually compose with. 

 

Hopefully I'll come up with the odd good riff.

[borntohang]

On 28/01/2024 at 15:57, TRBboy said:

There's no drama involved, but the rhythm guitarist has decided to pack it in with immediate effect because he's just too stretched, he has 5 kids and a busy job, and just can't commit right now. The drummer is in a similar situation, although not quite as bad. He's going to honour the handful of gigs we have booked in so far this year.

Five kids? Good grief, the last thing that guy needs is more spare time at home! Has he worked out what's causing them yet? 😄

 

I went very heavy with touring between 2018-2020 and while I do love it it's been pretty rough on both the finances and home life. Looking at my notes I did about 20K miles and 120+ dates between May '18 and August '19, not including travel days. I was working as a session player but then came in as a full band member just before 2020 really kicked off (and chucked in the day job for bonus points) at which point I realised I hate nearly everything about being in a band except playing live - without touring it's just a crap admin job that doesn't pay.

 

Luckily I wasn't expecting to make any money for at least 12 months after going pro anyway, so while did I burn through my savings pretty quickly the mortgage still got paid. My partner works in healthcare and they were piling up overtime hours during the lockdowns which really saved us long-term. After things opened up again I went out as tour crew a couple times and loved it just as much, except didn't have to worry about how I looked or being in photos and also I was being significantly better paid. 

 

I'm really definitely totally done with the original music career thing and wouldn't get back into the mainstream industry under any circumstances even if I wasn't too old and ugly now, but I've managed to self-finance a bunch of little EP's over the last two years and had more fun (and studio time) than I ever did during the push years. Took a while to get back to the idea of playing music being something you can do for fun, but we're getting there.

 

 

[Graham]

I've left my band now, been thinking about it for the past year and decided to knock it on the head for now.

 

With three challenging, neurodiverse children, now is not the right time to be in a band and I'm less reliant on the money than I once was.

 

Got one more gig booked to end things properly -  a private party at a big house we've played a few times - and then done.

 

Hopefully I'll look at getting back into it in 2026-ish, when the youngest will be 9, but for now it'll be home playing and maybe some composition.

[dmccombe7]

57 minutes ago, Graham said:

I've left my band now, been thinking about it for the past year and decided to knock it on the head for now.

 

With three challenging, neurodiverse children, now is not the right time to be in a band and I'm less reliant on the money than I once was.

 

Got one more gig booked to end things properly -  a private party at a big house we've played a few times - and then done.

 

Hopefully I'll look at getting back into it in 2026-ish, when the youngest will be 9, but for now it'll be home playing and maybe some composition.

Sometimes life and family have to come first. Good choice as you don't get those fun yrs back with your kids. Make the best of it now. Once they become teenagers they'll only need you to drive them to gigs with their own bands 

Dave

[12stringbassist]

I'm making this year as busy as I can.
Go out with a bang.

[dmccombe7]

1 minute ago, 12stringbassist said:

I'm making this year as busy as I can.
Go out with a bang.

Are you quitting too ?

Dave