Anyone else just ready to give up?

[ahpook]

No real news from the 'band' I'm 'in'.

 

There's still some talk about finding a drummer, but having joinedthis a year ago and got nowhere outside a practice room, I can't see it going anywhere.

 

I've had the odd noodle on a bass over the last week, just learning some Roxy Music songs for my own amusement...but I still feel less and less like I'm a, I dunno, 'proper'* bass player as time goes by.

 

It really is quite dispiriting

 

*Whilst admitting that I'm not sure what that means.

 

Edited October 12, 2023 by ahpook

[ahpook]

Double post, again.

Edited October 12, 2023 by ahpook

[fretmeister]

Over the last year I have been extremely close to quitting my big band. It's run by an educational trust and they decide who is running the ensembles. The last person was not cut out to do it at all. I stuck with it mainly because of a sense of duty (my kids spent many happy years getting involved) and because bassists are thin on the ground there at the moment. 

 

I had a little injury just before the end of term summer concert so I wasn't able to do it, and for the first time ever I didn't give a crap. I think bass duties were split between a tuba and a classical DB player. 

 

Over the summer holiday I didn't miss it either. Then the emails started about the planning for this term and included news that a new person had been appointed. I didn't know him but others did and were excited about it. With much pushing from my wife I decided to give it another shot. It couldn't possibly be worse than the last year.

 

The new chap is a massive improvement - he's passionate and really excited to be there. The repertoire has improved already. He's a proper jazz nerd and although he plays a load of instruments his main is trumpet.

 

I'm still undecided long term but at the moment I am not feeling hatred when I'm loading the car as I was over the last year and for reference, I only take a short scale, a BF 1x10 and a little amp. It's not like I'm lugging an 810!

 

It's difficult - I'm self employed and I work from home. Without this gig I would probably not leave the house unless I needed to go to the shops for something. I don't have to do anything other than turn up and play. No planning, no admin, none of that. And the rehearsals are on Saturday mornings which is also really convenient. I'm not going to get that in a pub band!

 

 

So, it's the big band or nothing, and at the moment I'm 45/55% in favour of the band. I hope that improves further, but I have been volunteering at the trust for over 10 years now and I'm also wondering if I've done my bit and it's just time to move on.

[chris_b]

I'll retire when the phone stops ringing. . . .  or I start pushing up daisy's. Which ever comes first.

 

 

 

 

[Franticsmurf]

11 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

 

Just wondering if there are just people who’ve hit the same wall

Yes, twice. Both times were for different reasons. The first time was when the long term band I was in got stuck in a rut and I was standing on stage in a club playing the same set list as I had several years before in the same club. I saw the gig out but shortly after I sold almost all of my bass gear as I couldn't see myself playing live again (I kept my headless Spirit XQ2). I was tempted back after a couple of years to the same band (the setlist had changed a bit) but the break had cleared my head of the negative stuff.  Of course I had to 'tool up' - I had a bass (as I'd kept up playing because I was recording my own songs for fun) but I needed an amp, cabs etc.

 

The second time was to look after an ailing parent. Although it was an enforced break, I think it was also a necessary one as I'd become complacent with my playing. The B/L didn't like rehearsing and I found myself just going through the motions on stage (literally in some duo gigs I played as a geetard as if I didn't know the song I'd turn the geetar down and mime to the backing tracks - which I'd played on). Once again most of my kit went although I held on to a bass amp as well as my Spirit headless. This was a three year break and when I was lured back into the gigging world again it was to something much better. I joined an Eagles 'tribute' band (more 'songs of The Eagles' than look-alikes) which meant I had to learn specific parts and I really enjoyed the challenge. That was in 2018 and although that band has long gone, I haven't looked back. 

 

I think being in a band (The Hulla) that is constantly working on new songs, gigging them, and which has a song list large enough to cycle through several times in a gigging 'season' helps as it keeps things fresh. I'm also in a second band which is getting to the point of gigging and the challenge of that is fun too.

 

My advice from my personal experience is take a complete break if you feel it would do you some good but think carefully about selling all your kit, just in case.

 

Whatever you decide to do - good luck. 😃

[gjones]

Many times in the past I've been like Michael Corleone in Godfather 3.

 

'Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in!'

[Thump]

2 hours ago, Reggaebass said:

Not me, I love it and can’t imagine my life without bass, I still play pretty much every day and when I’m not I’m either watching YouTube or browsing basses 

I'm in the same place, can't imagine not picking up a bass any time I sit down at home. It's how I chill out and relax after a long hard shift. If I'm not playing,  I'm online looking at and reading everything I can. Even on breaks at work I'm "window" shopping. I prefer to think of it as research 🤔

[Wilson_51_]

I do think if I wasn’t in a band I probably would slide into not playing and giving it up.
 

I have lost the massive passion I had as a teenager, where every opportunity I’d pick up the bass and play. I guess the rest of life has got in the way with work, family etc. 

 

the upside is I love playing live, rehearsing and recording with the band so if it ever did end I’d like to think I’d try and get into another one. 

[bassbiscuits]

I hear you Andy.

 

I suppose it depends what else is going on in your life with other commitments, goals etc which can mean there's little time or enthusiasm for playing music sometimes.

 

I've been playing since 1986 but not continuously - sometimes I've just gone off the boil and not really feeling it anymore, and didn't play bass for a number of years after a messy split up with a band. But things moved on and a few years later I got the itch again and got involved once more.

 

I guess I mean it doesn't have to be a continuous thing - if it comes and goes from time to time, along with everything else in life, then that's ok too.

 

 

[Rayman]

Yep, I jacked it in for nearly ten years..... once the realisation that the band was done, and I didn't care about any of it anymore, and the thousands of pounds I wasted on buying, modding, trading, swapping, upgrading...... blah blah blah...... a massive waste of time and money, all of it. 

 

Started again a couple of years ago..... and I'm enjoying it again, but without all the nonsense mentioned above.

[Paolo85]

I was forced to stop at 18. Then tried again years later but it did not last long - wrong approach, wrong time in my life. Thinking back, what's interesting is that the periods that followed these two stops were quite amazing in terms of exploring new things and personal growth. I would not say that's because I was not playing. But maybe it helped in terms of freeing up mental space.

In fact, the first time around I believe it even made me a better at listening to music. As a musician, even hobbyst musician, one HAS to listen to music. Which does not mean that it's a chore, but part of the brain listens to music as something that maybe would be cool/useful to learn/play/take inspiration from. When that part of the brain was switched off, and I was open to the possibility of not actively listening to music at all for months (and it happened at times), it became "if I give this record my time and attention, what do I get back?". My tastes changed a lot and I am quite happy about it.

Obviously, this is not an argument against playing. I do play now. Every day for the past two years.

But for those of us that do not have to make a living with it, it is always fair to ask ourselves if it is really rewarding, or maybe at certain times in out lives it is just a slightly addictive habit. Or maybe just part of our self-image that we are afraid to let go because of how much we have invested in it, and we end up investing more (more gear, for example) in order to keep the flame alive when we could just explore something different.

 

 

[asingardenof]

6 hours ago, musicbassman said:

A good plan, Mick, but let's hope this doesn't happen literally - not sure it would be a good look to peg out on stage ! 

One wouldn't be in a position to care though, tbf, and it's a very rock & roll way to go

[asingardenof]

I don't think I've ever been ready to give up, but I did have a fairly long period when I was in the depths of depression when I just couldn't look at my instruments. I wanted to, and wanted to pick them up and play them, but I just couldn't get up the enthusiasm to do it. Joining a band last year has definitely given me a fresh reason to keep going, albeit we don't get together to rehearse and gig all that often. Perhaps I need a second band...

[Franticsmurf]

20 minutes ago, asingardenof said:

I don't think I've ever been ready to give up, but I did have a fairly long period when I was in the depths of depression when I just couldn't look at my instruments. I wanted to, and wanted to pick them up and play them, but I just couldn't get up the enthusiasm to do it. Joining a band last year has definitely given me a fresh reason to keep going, albeit we don't get together to rehearse and gig all that often. Perhaps I need a second band...

I've felt like that, albeit only for a few days at a time. It definitely helps to have a purpose - band, recording, teaching. 

 

The last couple of years have been the first where I've been in more than one band and apart from increasing the opportunities to rehearse and gig, it means a wider range of musical styles and techniques. I find the challenge motivating. 

[Linus27]

I look at playing bass and being in a band like its a job. That's not in a bad way and its a chore but I didn't get a proper job until I was 30 as I was doing music from the age 17 and played in a band that was signed or a band that was semi pro. After I got a proper job in my 30's, I still played in bands and was doing over 100 gigs a year including touring and releasing albums. So all in all, I've probably spent more time playing bass and playing music and making a living from it than I have done doing a proper job. So if I ever stop then I don't look at it as giving up a hobby, I just look at it as retiring from a job which is not always a bad thing. If I do stop then it will be because I'm done, or other things like family are more important or something else has taken my fancy.

 

At the moment, I've spent the last 2 years playing in a small acoustic group with friends playing around 40 - 50 gigs a year. It is a hobby and at times I do feel like stopping, especially as playing gigs is not what it used to be when I was in my youth with these days there being less venues, less public interest and less of a music scene. Now I'm in my 50's, I'm thinking, do I want to keep doing this after 37 years. Plus my daughters karting is also taking up a lot of time and we are travelling pretty much most weekends with her racing. Then on the other hand, I adore playing fretless bass and consider myself to be a decent bass player and at times I fancy starting up a club band again as it was amazing fun and half decent money.

 

So I've decided to to get to 55 which is in a year and a half time and see how I feel musically and go from there. I may still have the energy and passion for it and new and exciting things may have landed on my doorstep which would be fantastic. Plus, my daughter would be at the point where she may be moving over to racing cars so that may take up all my time and energy supporting her. So we will see, I may just be done with it, retire and take up domino's 🤣

[BigRedX]

I've had three periods when I wasn't gigging, but I've always had other musical things to keep me occupied during those times.

 

First at the end of the 80s when my synth band split up, I made "demos" of the last few songs that I had written and spent some time working on my guitar technique which stood me in good stead when after failing the audition as a bass player for a goth band pointed out I could also play the guitar as was promptly asked to join!

 

Again in the early 2000s the demise of the band I'd been in for the previous 12 years coincided with discovering that my very first band had a bit of a cult following in the US, and we were asked if we would be interested in putting out a retrospective "best of" CD by Hyped To Death records from Chicago. This was a project that occupied the best part of 2 years, firstly sourcing a decent reel-to-reel tape machine and then digitising and restoring 5 hours worth of songs, editing that down to a representative 80 minutes (with the help of the other band members) and designing the packaging for the CD. By the time I had done all of that I was ready to join another band and play gigs again.

 

During COVID I was massively busy with work (most of the companies I work for went mad with their on-line retail businesses and I was kept busy creating larger and more interesting looking mailing packaging for them) and didn't really have a lot of time for music. However both my bands were in the process of mixing their next releases which of course took much longer when everything was done separately and remote; and I also somehow found time to work on putting out some old recordings form two other bands (which still hasn't been finished).

[Barking Spiders]

Over the last 30+ years I've often gone through many periods of leaving my instruments packed away in the loft while barely listening to music, preferring spoken word radio. It's less to do with a lack of interest in playing rather than being heartily sick of most music. These days I have the dilemma that while I enjoy practising on my own and jamming with mates I don't enjoy listening to or playing music rooted in guitar, bass and drums

[Lozz196]

I stopped playing in the early 90s for about 4 maybe 5 years, didn`t buy any music at all or go to see bands, but then - and though I didn`t go to see any of them - Brit Pop happened and guitars were "in" again so this being played on radio & TV coaxed me back in. Nothing wrong in just taking a break from a hobby.

[Linus27]

Just as a side note, I wonder if its normal for musicians or even people to just totally lose interest in listening to music? I generally for most of the time have music on in the house and in the car all the time and I do flick from listening to lots of Jazz, to then something heavier like Rage, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains to then 80's music and then some of my favourite artists. I then get periods when I want to listen to absolutely nothing, either because I just want the silence or I am just not in the mood for listening to any music at all.

[neepheid]

2 minutes ago, Linus27 said:

Just as a side note, I wonder if its normal for musicians or even people to just totally lose interest in listening to music? I generally for most of the time have music on in the house and in the car all the time and I do flick from listening to lots of Jazz, to then something heavier like Rage, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains to then 80's music and then some of my favourite artists. I then get periods when I want to listen to absolutely nothing, either because I just want the silence or I am just not in the mood for listening to any music at all.

 

I dunno about long periods of time, but it's always zero music in the car on the way home from playing a gig - I've just spent the best part of 3 hours being part of the music, that's quite enough in one sitting, thanks!

[NancyJohnson]

After some distinctly odd weeks, I left my current band at the weekend. 

 

By way of background, while there was a handful of high-points, although some ten months in and I don't honestly believe we'd progressed that much from our first rehearsal. 

 

Tired of being a backing musician to a singer that wasn't a musician.  Detest playing covers (even if those were part of the singer's pro-career).  Got zero credit, reprimanded for having the wrong attitude because I hadn't learnt Suffragette City, moaned at if I played something wrong, the endless repetition at rehearsals (running through of the same twelve or thirteen songs a couple of times), the constant vetoing of ideas and new material (which also sucked out any desire I may have had for songwriting as well).  Jamming was actively discouraged.  Little band chemistry.  Being told what to wear at gigs and being told which bass I should be using from a front man that doesn't actually play an instrument, were many of the straws that broke the camel's back.  

 

Right now I'm genuinely untroubled at not being in a band; I couldn't feel any less inclined to travel three hours to play 45 minutes to an uninterested group of ten people and then do the return journey home.

 

I'm not on cusp of giving up as such, but I'm certainly giving some thought to having a Grande Sell Off at some point.  I don't know if I'm actually bothered about being in a band any more.

 

 

 

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by NancyJohnson
Clarity. Yes, yes.

[ahpook]

3 hours ago, Linus27 said:

Just as a side note, I wonder if its normal for musicians or even people to just totally lose interest in listening to music? I generally for most of the time have music on in the house and in the car all the time and I do flick from listening to lots of Jazz, to then something heavier like Rage, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains to then 80's music and then some of my favourite artists. I then get periods when I want to listen to absolutely nothing, either because I just want the silence or I am just not in the mood for listening to any music at all.

 

I'm nowhere near as interested than I was. At home I usually have the radio on (usually something non-English language as I can't bear the chatter) but it's largely a bit of company. I used to get up in the morning and put music on all day to listen to, not now.

 

Mind you, I was a librarian for quite a while - I may have just got used to, and enjoy, silence (or as much as Tottenham will allow) more than I did.

 

I can quite happily do a 3 or 4 hour soldering session, in front of a PC, with access to any music I like...and do it it total silence, and it not even occur to me to put music on.

 

😦

Edited October 12, 2023 by ahpook

[BassAdder60]

I had many years non-playing after selling all my gigging gear. 
 

I guess it was a period in my life where music took a backseat 

 

When I got back into it and also a spell on guitar in a couple of start up bands I knew I should be back on bass.

 

I was lucky as the current and last band that I will be in are great friends and it’s made it real fun as a hobby.

 

For me I think it will be age ( I’m 63 ) that will decide when enough is enough 

[Franticsmurf]

17 minutes ago, Linus27 said:

Just as a side note, I wonder if its normal for musicians or even people to just totally lose interest in listening to music? I generally for most of the time have music on in the house and in the car all the time and I do flick from listening to lots of Jazz, to then something heavier like Rage, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains to then 80's music and then some of my favourite artists. I then get periods when I want to listen to absolutely nothing, either because I just want the silence or I am just not in the mood for listening to any music at all.

I'll often have background music on if I'm working on the computer or around the house. If I'm learning a song I'll have a recording of it to listen to and play along to. But I can't remember the last time I actually sat down to listen to a track or album. The closest I come to that is when I'm out on the hills (I'm training for a trek in the Himalaya) and I'll listen to compilations on the MP3 player. 

 

I'm not sure if this is a result of being a musician. I'm currently learning or brushing up on two sets so that might have something to do with it. 

[chris_b]

42 minutes ago, Linus27 said:

Just as a side note, I wonder if its normal for musicians or even people to just totally lose interest in listening to music?

 

My recreational listening is Radio 4. My music listening is mostly centred around set lists and homework for upcoming gigs and the occasional video I discover on YouTube.

 

I'm not a music fan, I'm a making music in a band in front of an audience fan.