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Regret


Nothingman

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20 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

I regret not taking it more seriously and not realising the direction I should have taken. Would have been dependent on other factors though.

Exactly this. I had the classic thing of parents who thought it was fine as a hobby, but nothing more, and that influenced my thinking.

 

Knowing now 37 years later how much of my life, my work and myself-identity is built around music, I wish I'd taken it all more seriously.

 

That would in turn have depended on a level of insight, self confidence and resilience I didn't have when I was younger. It's worked out ok really, but if my kids decide they want to play music seriously, I hope the circumstances mean I can support them.

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Another regret. . . . in my teens I also sang, played piano and double bass. When I started to move in more capable musical circles, I let them drop.

 

I've lost many gigs over the years because I didn't give being versatile enough attention.

Edited by chris_b
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I have many regrets throughout my life....

 

I, like many of us have many "I could have been a contender" stories, missed opportunities, record company interest, A&R scouts etc, but blew them all through naivety and acting like a d**k. 

 

I wish I'd taken the bass more seriously in the early days too.

 

I regret selling many many basses..... beautiful instruments I wish I still had, hundreds of them, but GAS and the misguided idea that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence has plagued me for 40yrs. Let me tell you, the grass on the other side is exactly the same colour as it is on this side. If you have an instrument you love, hang on to it with both hands, and don't be tempted to trade it out for other shiny things.... you'll regret it.

 

I also regret not telling my dad that I loved him..... more than I did.

 

 

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Main regret is not buying a Wal Mk I for £2,000 circa 2009. Yeah, I tried it and liked it but I didn't love it and frankly didn't think it offered anything more than my Vigier Excess. 

However, I really should have bought it just so I could have sold it ten years later for £4-5k profit. 

 

Other small regret is buying a 1974 Gibson EB3 in 2001 when I was going through a major Andy Fraser/Jack Bruce phase when I was 15. I really should have a Musicman Stingray or Fender Jazz instead. Like, I still have the EB3 but I never gig it.  

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I think most people have something that they'd change. For me, I spent too long working with one person who despite being an excellent player, was also incredibly difficult and controlling of the band's direction. It took a very long time for me to realise that and I blame that on being young.

 

I wished I'd started producing bands professionally when I was 25 rather than 38. I stupidly settled for the easy paycheck. That decision caused me years of anguish of hating my job. I love my job now though.

 

Over the years I got fired from some signed bands (don't worry, they did nothing), which was mainly down to making sure I kept a job I hated to pay the mortgage rather than take a chance. 

 

In 2019, I quit my job to produce full time as I realised I'd reached the point where the job was making me ill and if I didn't make the leap, I wouldn't ever.

Nowadays, I love my bands I play in and the people I work with.

 

We all get to where we get to. Maybe it's not when you wanted it, but when you're ready for it. Life has it's way of teaching us whether that be in the case of hard knocks or learning about ourselves over time.

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12 hours ago, MichaelDean said:

I regret not saying, "No, I don't want to join this band". I've accidentally joined a couple over the years that weren't what I was really interested in. They were a learning experience, so not a huge regret, but I feel like I wasted my time a bit while I was living in Leeds by not being in better bands. There didn't seem to be a lot around at the time for me to join and I didn't have the confidence or direction to start something new.

 

Similarly. Stayed in a band for 13 years, trying to make it work when it was pretty much dead after 9. Then joined another one that worked for a year and the next two years were a waste of time. At least rehearsals were free if you disregard fuel costs. 

 

Latest 3 bands are going reasonably well at the moment. One regularly gigging, one learning originals, the other working on new drummer.

 

Should have allowed myself to play in several bands years ago, but thought they'd clash, they very rarely do. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Not exactly a regret more a whistful sense of something I was part of that was great and that will never happen again.

 

Twas back in 1986 and Id got a summer Hotel season thing on the Isle of Wight. Drums, bass, and a Fender Rhodes with a little string machine on top, all lead by an extraordinary white version of Tina Turner up front, big hair, gold lamay jacket...huge voice... Still got a playlist. I've done a lot of stuff but as a unit we were flippin good with a packed dance floor four nights a week for four months. Just nice to have those memories I guess.

 

Its actually got me thinkin about that backing track thread too. Back then you could take it where you liked, be spontaneous... and above all....relax, and just play loose!

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My regret is not having followed my original dream of playing bass right from the start. I'd seen the bass in a second hand shop and by the time I'd saved the money, it had gone. My day bought me a guitar and I learned t play on that. I may well not have spent so much time learning had I bought the bass as eventually with the guitar I could play and write songs unaccompanied. But bass was my first interest.

 

The regret comes from the time when I was starting out in bands with my best mate, a drummer. We had a decent thing going but we were always let down by the bassist and my mediocre live guitar playing. There were two specific occasions when I can remember rejecting a 'proper' guitarist; one who came with a decent singer as a pair (both of which we would have benefited from) and another who would have fitted in with the line up we had. Both times, had I been playing bass, we would have taken them on and while I can't say we would have 'made it', I think we would have got further than we did.

 

I have to admit that playing guitar -  however badly -  got me gigs, helped me write music, taught me more musical theory than had I played bass alone and is a skill I can still practice. So maybe it's not a full on regret but more of a wistful 'I wonder if it would have been better'?

 

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