SteveXFR Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 Is this better or worse than a drunk punter at a gig coming up and asking to play guitar with you for a song? I think it possibly is just because Mrs keys should know better and is (I assume) sober. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snorkie635 Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 3 hours ago, solo4652 said: Drummer - her husband - is band leader. You're snared then. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 Alternatively, agree to let her play a few tunes in the first set. Pop to the bar and have a pint while she plays said songs. Then leave the venue for the evening. 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapanAxe Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 At least insist she brings her own bass so that she’s familiar with it. Then slyly detune it before her star turn [optional]. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyTravis Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 There’s only one answer… 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 On 24/12/2023 at 13:48, solo4652 said: I play in a good 5-piece pub covers band. Drummer's wife plays keys - sort of. She has bought a bass and at last night's gig she told me she wanted to play bass "on a few songs" next year. Hmmm.... She can want from here until the moon. It doesn't mean she'll get it Obviously I don't know your band's dynamics. In any of mine if someone wanted to play bass on a song, really wanted it, sure, we're the accommodating type. But she sounds like she wants to do more than that. What does the rest of the band say? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickeyboro Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 On 24/12/2023 at 13:48, solo4652 said: Drummer's wife plays keys - sort of This to me says Linda McCartney. Wonder why she never tried bass? 😂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 On 24/12/2023 at 15:11, NoRhino said: What will you be doing during her bass songs? If you'll be singing lead vocal or playing another instrument it can add a different dynamic for a couple of songs. If she doesn't need or want you to do anything but leave the stage kill the idea stone dead now. This. As a part of an arrangement where various band members' skills are reshuffled to achieve a goal, why not. As a 'fun thing' that she wants to do... Don't even open that door a crack. It'll be hard to close it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 On 24/12/2023 at 15:56, badger said: say yes, but only if you can play the drums. Ooooh, I like your thinking! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 (edited) Worth seeing what the drummer / bandleader thinks of this. We are assuming he is supportive of her idea, but he might be tired of hearing about it too. I very much doubt she’d play bass as well as the actual bass player, so then it comes down to whether the bandleader/ husband /wife are happy for the music to be worse quality for the sake of appeasing her, in which case you’re better off out anyway. Hard to know from the OP how serious or determined she is about it, or whether it’s just a nice idea that’s come to mind etc. I’ve swapped with guitar/bass/vocals in bands before for one or two songs and it didn’t bother me as I was clearly the better bassist. Might as well try and sound out what she and her husband want from this, rather than assuming the worst and walking out. If they want you as the bassist I’m sure they’ll be able to say so. If they actually want to shoehorn her in on bass it’s best you find out straight. Hope it works out either way. Edited December 25, 2023 by bassbiscuits 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bass_dinger Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 22 hours ago, solo4652 said: She's a good trombone player, but a poor keys player. It seems a shame that she wants to try bass, when: 1. She is already a poor keys player (and is likely to become a poor bass player, at least to start with 2. She is a good trombone player (surely a better fit in a band that wants another instrumentalist, and wants to showcase the lady musician). 3. You have already done the heavy lifting, by learning the songs creating arrangements that work for the band, and turning up to rehearsals. Be direct, and ask if the intention is that she will replace you. Tell them that you would feel a bit "spare" if she was playing bass, even for a few songs. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigAlonBass Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 The above thread is the exact reason I never played with a "couple" in a Band. NEVER! I've actually turned up at 'auditions' been introduced to the Band Members, and as soon as I heard "This is my (Significant Other) or "We run the Band" my Bass never even left its Case, I didn't even engage in conversation, and I walked out. Life's too short for KNOWING there are going to be problems before you even start, so discretion is always the better part of valour in any simillar situation . I am not alone in sharing experiences of this situation in the past, as it seems to rear its ugly head on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, the moment she said "I want to play Bass" I would have been gone. No ifs, buts or maybes. Take it from me, the Band is going to split within 6 months or so, as this is only the thin end of the wedge. What other 'bright ideas' do they have in the pipeline? I wouldn't be hanging around to find out... YMMV, but I doubt it. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beedster Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 14 minutes ago, BigAlonBass said: The above thread is the exact reason I never played with a "couple" in a Band. NEVER! I've actually turned up at 'auditions' been introduced to the Band Members, and as soon as I heard "This is my (Significant Other) or "We run the Band" my Bass never even left its Case, I didn't even engage in conversation, and I walked out. Life's too short for KNOWING there are going to be problems before you even start, so discretion is always the better part of valour in any simillar situation . I am not alone in sharing experiences of this situation in the past, as it seems to rear its ugly head on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, the moment she said "I want to play Bass" I would have been gone. No ifs, buts or maybes. Take it from me, the Band is going to split within 6 months or so, as this is only the thin end of the wedge. What other 'bright ideas' do they have in the pipeline? I wouldn't be hanging around to find out... YMMV, but I doubt it. Come on mate, tell us what you really think 😆 Kinda agree though 👍 1 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steantval Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 (edited) I had a similar thing many years ago with a married couple, although both of them were not in our band. Chris was our drummer and a really nice guy, but his wife was a mouthy old dragon who ruled the roost and was very opinionated. When he first joined us, she would come to every gig, it was like having a sixth member of the band, always poking her nose in and criticising, it really came to a head and the band gave him an ultimatum that he would not bring her to gigs or we find another drummer, we didn’t see her any more and Chris continued to play with us. Chris was definitely more relaxed at gigs with her not there, he ended up divorcing her and I played in two other bands with him, sadly he was killed in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. Edited December 25, 2023 by steantval 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, Mickeyboro said: This to me says Linda McCartney. Wonder why she never tried bass? 😂 She's been working down to it. Tried all the other instruments and couldn't hack it and finally thinks "everyone can play bass, even me". Edit to add: Just realised you were probably wondering about why Linda M never tried , rather than the woman in the OP's band (which is who my comment was aimed at). Edited December 25, 2023 by Dan Dare 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 1 hour ago, BigAlonBass said: The above thread is the exact reason I never played with a "couple" in a Band. NEVER! I've actually turned up at 'auditions' been introduced to the Band Members, and as soon as I heard "This is my (Significant Other) or "We run the Band" my Bass never even left its Case, I didn't even engage in conversation, and I walked out. Life's too short for KNOWING there are going to be problems before you even start, so discretion is always the better part of valour in any similar situation . I am not alone in sharing experiences of this situation in the past, as it seems to rear its ugly head on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, the moment she said "I want to play Bass" I would have been gone. No ifs, buts or maybes. Take it from me, the Band is going to split within 6 months or so, as this is only the thin end of the wedge. What other 'bright ideas' do they have in the pipeline? I wouldn't be hanging around to find out... YMMV, but I doubt it. I fear you're correct. Like you, I avoid couples in bands like the plague. Suggest that one might change or improve something and the other is in your face, etc. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 2 hours ago, Mickeyboro said: This to me says Linda McCartney. Wonder why she never tried bass? 😂 She probably saw what happened to the Beatles when Yoko wanted to sing BV. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 And probably heard it too….. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skybone Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 Did the keyboard player say this to just the OP, or was it in front of any other band members? Is it worth discussing at the next rehearsal session? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tauzero Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 (edited) 23 hours ago, neepheid said: Maybe the OP can do a straight swap and play some keys while she's playing bass so maybe it's a moot point. But in my world, that's someone taking my role in the band leaving me with hee haw to do. I'm not having that. If it's a good band, but she's a poor keys player, maybe it would be improved by getting her off keys. Can't understand how it can be a good band with a poor keys player though. Edited December 25, 2023 by tauzero 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 Plot twist... ...she joins BassChat. 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downunderwonder Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 ...we get a Twisted Sister... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul_5 Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 “Can I borrow your amp? Do you have a spare lead?” this way madness lies. And not n a good way. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skybone Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 12 hours ago, paul_5 said: “Can I borrow your amp? Do you have a spare lead?” this way madness lies. And not n a good way. "Mind if I use your bass" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cloud Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 (edited) This is simple 'all or nothing' situation: what do the other members want? If they want her to proceed then insist she play bass on every song and leave. Everyone must get exactly what they want ... and own the consequences. Edited December 27, 2023 by White Cloud 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.