mr4stringz Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 23 hours ago, NancyJohnson said: We had a drummer that we needed to let go. Nobody had the guts to do it so we broke the band up and reformed it a few weeks later. Trying to put myself in the drummer’s shoes, that sounds awful. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 (edited) Happened in a band I was in. We all got an email from the band leader saying he was disbanding us. Then got an email asking some of us to form a new band playing the same gigs and tunes. Followed by a phone call a few weeks later from the person ejected telling me not to worry, they knew I had nothing to with it, and then venting their spleen over the cowardly band leader. In hindsight the writing was on the wall as he did several other underhand things to eject other members over the next few years. Eventually copying the wrong people into a sensitive email and showing his true colours. Quite humorous looking back on it now. Edited January 2 by TimR 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zbd1960 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Ugh. I used to know a narcissistic control freak like that. He liked to play people off against each other. He got away with it for years because people didn't talk to each other. Then one day they did... He didn't last long after that. Unfortunately these people exist. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek99 Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 42 minutes ago, TimR said: Happened in a band I was in. We all got an email from the band leader saying he was disbanding us. Then got an email asking some of us to form a new band playing the same gigs and tunes. Followed by a phone call a few weeks later from the person ejected telling me not to worry, they knew I had nothing to with it, and then venting their spleen over the cowardly band leader. In hindsight the writing was on the wall as he did several other underhand things to eject other members over the next few years. Eventually copying the wrong people into a sensitive email and showing his true colours. Quite humorous looking back on it now. Slightly off topic but my brother is exactly like that. You think you’re having a private conversation and then you see “cc: <name> “ where idiot intended to bcc: fool me once … I don’t talk to him as he has a trust ability rating slightly below “Donald trump” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tauzero Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 From the POV of one who has been eased out - back in 2010, I'd been in a rock covers band for a year or so and things were looking quite good, gigs were coming in. Then they let me know no rehearsal next week, and the same the next week, and the week after that. Then the rhythm guitarist texted me to let me know I was being ditched. The politics were that the drummer and lead guitarist, who were brothers, had a mate who was a bassist, and now the band was starting to be successful, he wanted to join. The rhythm guitarist and the vocalist were rather trapped, as it was the brothers' band, and the rhythm guitarist didn't want to leave me in the dark, hence the text. All rather unpleasant for me. Self-indulgent bit follows - please feel free to skip it. As it happened, things turned out well for me after that, and the band I subsequently joined supported the other band at one gig. The guy who replaced me then got cancer, was himself replaced, and the replacement went on holiday just as a gig came in, so in 2016 I did a dep gig for them. And a few months ago they asked me to rejoin, and Mrs Zero ran into the wife of the lead guitarist who told her that I was the best bassist they'd ever had. However, I was settled in with the current band, and had no great desire to join a bunch of somewhat racist Leave voters as I could also see much potential for friction there. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingBollock Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 I was once in a band that disbanded and reformed with a new name and different lead guitarist and singer. I had no idea it was going on. They all knew each other socially but I was quite a bit younger, not old enough to go to the pub with them. I was just told that the band was over. At the time I was working in a guitar shop and the lead guitarist had come in for something. I was out of the shop, on my way back, when I met the guitarist coming the other way, and he told me there was someone on the phone for me. It turned out to be the second guitarist. He and the drummer had organised the split and they wanted me to join them again. I said yes. A little while later the lead guitarist had found a really good drummer and they asked if I’d like to join them… I really wanted to but I had no idea that you could be in two bands at the same time, so I felt I had to turn them down. The new band was a mess and didn’t last long. Guess who went on to have a proper career in music… 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewie Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 On 29/12/2023 at 21:03, Dan Dare said: Get the band to stand in a line and say "all band members take one step forward. Hey (name of member you want to fire), where do you think you're going?" Hands up who likes......... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asingardenof Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 13 hours ago, TimR said: The discussion was about trained singers. Often people get trained and then specialise. Better to be a jack of all trades than a master of none though oftentimes better than master of one. A jack of all trades is a master of none though. That's the saying... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badger Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 45 minutes ago, Chewie said: Hands up who likes......... 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 (edited) 52 minutes ago, asingardenof said: A jack of all trades is a master of none though. That's the saying... Sorry. The full saying is. Better to be a jack of all trades and a master of none though oftentimes better than master of one Edited January 3 by TimR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewie Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 2 hours ago, badger said: Imagine doing this with a band member..............????? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 I think Beedster nailed it with the first comment. It sounds like a clash of styles rather than a personal thing, and this demonstrates that a great folk voice doesn't necessarily mean it'll work in a rock band (& vice versa). Any feedback that isn't glowing always risks offending. At work we used to use the "feedback sandwich" also known as the "stinky poo sandwich" where you say something positive, tell them the bit they don't like and then end on a positive. For example, you have a fantastic voice / presence but you are not right for this project but we're sure you'd be a great addition to a more folk based act. That kind of thing. I've recently heard that this technique can mean they only listen to the good bit but I generally find it effective enough to use it in all aspects of my life. Back in the 90s, I had to fire a manager who had the thickest skin. It took three visits with me starting out tactfully, before ending with me having to be quite rude as he wasn't getting blunt comments like "You're fired, we don't need your services", only for him to reply and him saying "so see you at rehearsal on Monday" I've never been fired in 35yrs of playing but my first band technically fired me by splitting the band and reforming without me. A long time ago and we're all friends now but it was a pretty mean thing to do. We were just kids and I had committed the cardinal sin of spending too much time with my then girlfriend. Looking back now, I would have binned me too but maybe with a bit more tact and class. Thankfully we're all older and wiser now. Best of luck with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassAdder60 Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 Sadly there are many delusional singers in bands who think they can sing !! They get false encouragement from friends and family which makes them believe they can sing. Get the job done and ask her to stand down politely and find someone better. Took us 6 months to find a good singer but we now have two as they get up to speed to take over in June leaving just one singer. A bad singer will ruin a band !! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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