The Continuing Story of Problem Bandmates.

[ezbass]

I think a straightforward, “Was that really necessary?” should suffice. Don’t go pointing out someone else’s faults as a way of hitting back, that’s petty and won’t end well. Hopefully, they’ll agree it was over the top and maybe even apologise. However, if he doubles down, then all bets are off, rip him a new one!

[DJpullchord]

If you don’t make the odd mistake, the stuff you play is too easy.

 

Vocal harmonies gotta be rehearsed, does the bv have a working monitor? Some people find it hard to pitch if they can’t hear themselves.

[White Cloud]

People = problems.

 

Every band in the history of ever has featured underlying tensions. 

 

I'm a great believer in a bit of give and take, but it has to be both. 

[NickD]

I can't imagine a situation where hitting a bum note or dropping a beat is noteworthy. I expect everyone in the band to fluff something at least once a gig, we're not robots. I can't think of a gig I've attended, at any level, where there's not been something out of place somewhere. 

 

Actively pointing out someone's error, is just bellendery. (unless it was hilarious, and you know that everyone, including the clanger dropper, will take it as such).

[Lozz196]

My thoughts are if the same  is made every time the song is played by a band then it has to be addressed by someone in the band so as to try and get it right. But a one off mistake, well we can all make those, listen to some of the live work by Slash, a great guitarist but even he hits a wrong note at times.

 

Though saying that, in my last band we had a way of dealing with mistakes at gigs. If one of us dropped a howler it would be announced and then we would play our song Wanchor in dedication to said howler maker. It certainly meant that very few mistakes were ever made.

Edited December 30, 2023 by Lozz196

[Steve Browning]

Rule 1, you don't embarrass someone on stage. Ever.

 

Post mortems are for the day after, at the earliest. 

[3below]

So much good advice in the previous posts.  I just accept I make mistakes, so do others. At my musical level I am not practising 10 hrs a day (and not likely to, ever),  If another band member wants to call me out needlessly, so be it, that is their problem not mine (my two current bands are not like this at all btw).  In my final 'proper career' job I learned not to worry about the sh*t thrown at me, some of it may be warranted - learn from it and act on it, some may not be, ignore it and move on.  Musically I have people around me whose judgement is valid and I trust them.  At some point, age, memory, hearing or worse will get me and I will cease being a reasonable bass player, at that point someone should tell me and I will call it a day.  Until then, at my level, this is supposed to be fun, keep it that way.

[3below]

Just now, Steve Browning said:

Rule 1, you don't embarrass someone on stage. Ever.

 

Post mortems are for the day after, at the earliest. 

^This, so very, very much.  Really solid advice, and not just for music.

[lonestar]

10 hours ago, Supernaut said:

A simple proposal will do the job:

 

Stop the unprofessional comments or I walk. 
 

Speak to your other bandmates before speaking to the problem child. They may share a similar opinion. 

This

[peteb]

11 hours ago, Supernaut said:

A simple proposal will do the job:

 

Stop the unprofessional comments or I walk. 
 

Speak to your other bandmates before speaking to the problem child. They may share a similar opinion. 

 

For some reason, all too often the advice on here is to threaten to walk every time there is an issue. If the the other guy is a founder member and the OP is by his own admission 'not the greatest bassist the world', there is only going to be one winner and the band will be looking for a new bass player. 

 

A better idea would be after playing a song in rehearsal where he particularly struggles with the BVs, say to the singer or BL (NOT the guy you have an issue with) that you're not sure whether the harmonies in a particular section of the song are working and get them to go over and over the vocals that he is struggling with. At no time are you having a go at the founding member, you are just trying to work on the vocal arrangement. Once you have gone repeatedly over a section that he is not singing properly (preferably a cappella, i.e. just the vocals), then see if he is so keen on calling out every minor mistake that you make? 

 

Edited December 30, 2023 by peteb

[lozkerr]

1 hour ago, Lozz196 said:

we had a way of dealing with mistakes at gigs. If one of us dropped a howler it would be announced and then we would play our song Wanchor in dedication to said howler maker. It certainly meant that very few mistakes were ever made.

Having PMSL at Wanchor when adding it to my silent disco killer track, that is a brilliant solution.

[casapete]

7 hours ago, Paul S said:

One of my old bands did a 'good thing'.  3 of the 4 of us sang (not me) and they would have vocal rehearsals to get the harmonies spot on.  It was easy to do round someone's house, rather than eating into paid rehearsal room time, and it meant I didn't have to hang around counting my toes waiting for them to finish.  Maybe this would help with your guy, if it is isolated it might be more noticeable?

We’ve always done it this way in our band. Start with a ‘front room session’ with just acoustic guitar or

piano to accompany sorting the harmonies out. No hearing issues or places to hide!  When we’ve decided

on the arrangement we either record it or write it down so nobody can change their parts afterwards. 
We then organise two days of rehearsals - first with just the core band to make sure the vocals work

in a larger setting, and then the next day with all of us to finalise things. After that, no excuses 🤣

[Chienmortbb]

16 hours ago, Dan Dare said:

I highly recommend sarcasm - "Thank you so much for pointing out my error. I would never have known I had made a mistake had you not drawn everyone's attention to it. I'll go home and practice for ten hours a day. Please, please forgive me. I am not worthy", etc, etc.

If you added “you little 5h1t” on the end, that was my first thought. However when we were having trouble hearing each other on stage, I mentioned him first in a whatsapp. He took umbrage as he thought I was somehow blaming him, offered his resignation….

 

[Chienmortbb]

10 hours ago, peteb said:

A better idea would be after playing a song in rehearsal where he particularly struggles with the BVs, say to the singer or BL (NOT the guy you have an issue with) that you're not sure whether the harmonies in a particular section of the song are working and get them to go over and over the vocals that he is struggling with. At no time are you having a go at the founding member, you are just trying to work on the vocal arrangement. Once you have gone repeatedly over a section that he is not singing properly (preferably a cappella, i.e. just the vocals), then see if he is so keen on calling out every minor mistake that you make? 

After some thought and advice from the assembled throng, this is close to my plan. I am going to say that, barring the odd wrong/bum note, the instrumental arrangements are fine but I am not convinced that my BVs complement those of the others band members, on every song. I would like to record the next rehearsal so that we can all evaluate the BVs at our leisure, then suggest changes.

 

 

[SumOne]

Honestly, I'd say perhaps consider growing thicker skin.

 

Obviously I'm a stranger on the Internet and and don't know the full context though - so take my opinion with a large pinch of salt!

[Chienmortbb]

24 minutes ago, SumOne said:

Honestly, I'd say perhaps consider growing thicker skin.

 

Obviously I'm a stranger on the Internet and and don't know the full context though - so take my opinion with a large pinch of salt!

The skin is thick enough, the ears are a bit sensitive though. To be honest, I would have left a long time ago if my shin was thinner and the rhythm guitarist's thin skin is why I need to approach things carefully.

 

I did say I am not the world's best bassist, but I am probably as good, or better, rhythm guitarist as him. I have sung lead vocals on some songs in previous bands and do have a good ear for pitch and harmonies.

[peteb]

1 hour ago, SumOne said:

Honestly, I'd say perhaps consider growing thicker skin.

 

 

An underestimated, yet vitally important requirement for anyone playing in a band...! 

 

[Supernaut]

20 hours ago, peteb said:

 

For some reason, all too often the advice on here is to threaten to walk every time there is an issue. If the the other guy is a founder member and the OP is by his own admission 'not the greatest bassist the world', there is only going to be one winner and the band will be looking for a new bass player. 

 

A better idea would be after playing a song in rehearsal where he particularly struggles with the BVs, say to the singer or BL (NOT the guy you have an issue with) that you're not sure whether the harmonies in a particular section of the song are working and get them to go over and over the vocals that he is struggling with. At no time are you having a go at the founding member, you are just trying to work on the vocal arrangement. Once you have gone repeatedly over a section that he is not singing properly (preferably a cappella, i.e. just the vocals), then see if he is so keen on calling out every minor mistake that you make? 

 

So be passive aggressive instead? 

[TimR]

41 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

So be passive aggressive instead? 

 

I think passive aggressive is agreeing with something and then not doing it.

 

This is more like standard working within a team where different members have different abilities and different sensitivities. 

 

Walking out everytime there is a problem will get you called out as a child, certainly by me.

 

I've only once called an early end to a practice when it's got tense between a singer and guitarist and has been obvious to everyone (apart from the 2), nothing productive was going to achieved.

[martin8708]

Thankfully music /bands is not my day job ,so I don’t rely upon it for financial survival .

If the scales of enjoyment and reward are tipped towards having a good time and enjoying myself , I tend to just put up with the minor irritations within the band . ( yes , there are some irritants in the band , you are truly blessed if you get on fabulously with everyone ) 

If the scale is tipped towards dreading the rehearsal evenings , time to put the feelers out for a new band . 
We also do the “turn the instruments off “ and work on vocal harmony to try and nail the vocals .

[chris_b]

41 minutes ago, martin8708 said:

Thankfully music /bands is not my day job ,so I don’t rely upon it for financial survival .

 

 

It's my experience that the guys playing music for a living have a much better attitude to playing, other musicians and gigs.

 

Many of the problems posted on Basschat seems to relate to hobby bands.

[tauzero]

On 30/12/2023 at 16:35, Chienmortbb said:

I really like the band members but he can occasionally be a pain in the derrière. I do not want to ruin a good thing. What is quite worrying is that a good friend mentioned the poor BVs after the gig.

 

Oh. I assumed that it was a rehearsal that this happened at when you said that he told everyone when you played a bum note.

[merello]

On 30/12/2023 at 15:30, Chienmortbb said:

Some good stuff on here. I was considering suggesting that we record the rehearsals on the basis that something was not right. 
 

As for the bum note. I wax tired, I have been sick for some weeks. It is not a regular occurrence. 
 

It was actually a good night overall and maybe my tiredness was also part of the problem. 
 

I will chat to the de facto band leader about my general concerns over the BVs. To be honest and much to my chagrin, we never rehearse  vocals. 
 

 

I once made a mistake in registering a child in class.

HT gave me a dressing down.

Later, I replied by email “You were quite right to point out the serious nature of not registering properly. To improve, I have analysed my performance since August and found I have only been 99.98 % accurate. I will seek to improve this.”

He’s a silly billy. Treat him as such.

[peteb]

1 hour ago, chris_b said:

 

It's my experience that the guys playing music for a living have a much better attitude to playing, other musicians and gigs.

 

Many of the problems posted on Basschat seems to relate to hobby bands.

 

Ain't that the truth...! 

[TimR]

8 hours ago, chris_b said:

It's my experience that the guys playing music for a living have a much better attitude to playing, other musicians and gigs.

 

We are continually told one of the most important aspects of being a pro musician is you have to be able to get along with musicians. Word gets around and the difficult or snide types don't get offered work.