Thoughts About Quitting Playing

[Bassman1974]

I guess this thread is primarily aimed at others who have at some point felt as I feel right now.

 

Without going into details, my life at the moment is quite challenging, much more so than normal, and I'm not at all in a great head place. This in turn has made me lose any desire to pick up a bass and play / learn anything. I'm also considering leaving the band, as great a bunch of guys as they are. I really think removing it all from my life might give me the breathing space that I maybe need.

 

I'd be interested to hear from anyone with experience of a similar situation.

 

Thanks,

George 

[Harlequin74]

Hi George, i feel you on this one.

 

my advice would be to have a break from it. Arrange a dep and tell the lads you are having a few months off, and hope to be back.

 

i found the monotony of playing the same songs - more or less - for 5 years a downer and really hit my enthusiasm for something i have always loved. When i left i found i was playing stuff i had not looked at for ages, and being invited into other bands etc. Also i started learning keys which i never had the time for before. 
 

its been about six months now and just thinking of getting back in the saddle again, so to speak.

 

leave the door ajar, rather than slamming it closed, and give yourself time to breathe and think.

 

hope this helps George, and good luck,

Mike

[Lozz196]

I experienced a phase of about 5 years in the early 90s where I didn’t play at all, didn’t even buy any new music. I’d kept my gear so when the time was right I just picked up where I left off. Sometimes a break for whatever reason is needed.

[Doctor J]

Being in a band is tough, balancing relationships with a bunch of people. If it's causing you more stress than the enjoyment you get out of it then get yourself out of it. 
 

As for giving up playing, there have been times when I haven't felt like playing but, eventually, I come back to why I wanted to play an instrument in the first place. I love music. I don't need to justify having an instrument by being in a band. Dinking around aimlessly on the couch is perfectly valid, if it brings you some joy pr even a distraction from the things in life which can get on top of us.

 

Don't let your band fatigue get muddied up with your love of music. If you think you might get any enjoyment at all out of playing then hold off on quitting totally, even if you leave the band. Best wishes whatever you decide to do.

[TheGreek]

To quote Tom Jones "it's not unusual " to go through phases of wanting/ not wanting to play. 

I haven't picked up a bass this year.  Doesn't mean that I want to give up.  As @Lozz196 says,  take a break - a time will come when your interest will return - when this happens it normally comes back in spades. 

 

[BassAdder60]

1 hour ago, Bassman1974 said:

I guess this thread is primarily aimed at others who have at some point felt as I feel right now.

 

Without going into details, my life at the moment is quite challenging, much more so than normal, and I'm not at all in a great head place. This in turn has made me lose any desire to pick up a bass and play / learn anything. I'm also considering leaving the band, as great a bunch of guys as they are. I really think removing it all from my life might give me the breathing space that I maybe need.

 

I'd be interested to hear from anyone with experience of a similar situation.

 

Thanks,

George 

Speak to your band buddies and agree to take a band timeout !

Dont just leave as you will most likely regret it later. It’s surprising how a few weeks away can refresh the mind and make things seem clear once more. Stay strong 

Edited February 29 by BassAdder60

[ahpook]

1 hour ago, BassAdder60 said:

Speak to your band buddies and agree to take a band timeout !

Dont just leave as you will most likely regret it later. It’s surprising how a few weeks away can refresh the mind and make things seem clear once more. Stay strong 

 

This.

 

Talk first...always talk first.

[AlexDelores]

10 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

I experienced a phase of about 5 years in the early 90s where I didn’t play at all, didn’t even buy any new music. I’d kept my gear so when the time was right I just picked up where I left off. Sometimes a break for whatever reason is needed.

+1 to this. And talking first. Lots of good advice on here but whatever you do, don’t just call it a day and move all your gear on. 
 

I stopped for about 5 years also and never touched my bass. But, when the itch came back and the time was right, it was sitting there waiting for me. I then started a project completely different to anything I’d ever done and I’ve not looked back since. 

 

Sometimes, it’s important to get rid of the stuff that’s causing you unwanted stress, even if it’s the stuff that you love.  
 

 

[Gwilym]

I'm enjoying playing at home without the ball-ache of leaving the house. Who knows if I'll play out again, but i don't miss playing with other people at the moment.

I've got tinnitus and i don't want to make it any worse than it already is (i do wear earplugs and have done for a long time, that damage was done when i was young and stupid). Also, i'm more likely to stretch myself musically pursuing my own interests at home.

At other times I've gone for long periods without playing at all. My interest has always come back when I've just focused on doing the things that i enjoy, and typically that doesn't include making any sort of commitment to others and all that entails.

[Burns-bass]

I didn’t play for almost a decade. Came back to it as I wanted a social outlet that wasn’t the pub or cycling (which I was obsessive about).

 

If it feels like a chore then stop. 

Just pack the gear up, put it somewhere safe and don’t worry about it.

[Boodang]

Maybe take a timeout. Also, what I’ve found to be a tonic, is to take up another instrument. Feeling a lack of motivation for bass, I took up drums and now I split duties. 
And if you don’t fancy an instrument then maybe something different… in a complete moment of non musicality I took up photography. 

[Jeffb28451]

Boats, kids in football, school, job travel...some of my friends and I have "quit" for 10-30 years at the time. That's real life for most of us.

 

That said, played in a horrific jam session last night, with my mates from my Monday band and some old fart with a harmonica, flip flops and dreams of 

adequacy. Practice tonight with another band and Friday with some folks a County over doing acoustic fretless stuff.

 

God....I love retirement!! 

[martin8708]

Hi George . If 1974 is your date of birth , your 10 years younger than me .

From my experience, music / bands have always pulled me thought bad times .

I still have my Ovation guitar I bought when I was a student at 18 yrs old , played it in many squats / bedsits / shared houses when life was pretty grim and lonely .

My current band are not only fellow musicians, but friends as well , with a common love of music and humour and banter .

When life is tough , you need support from all avenues of life 

[Johannes]

Don’t try to force it (if Your familys survival doesn’t require it). Often a good break and distance from it can work wonders.

After my first intense 10 pro years and very busy gigging schedule I just got enough and changed to another profession. I didn’t touch a bass or any other instrument for next 10 years. Then I got the ”sparkle” back and started to play again. It took couple of weeks about 1-2 hours practice per day to get my technique and cordination back. I think my playing got also more matured and disciplined. Weird thing is that my sight-reading got almost immediately better. I guess the reason for it is more relaxed mindset.

 

[NHM]

I share Johannes view: I started playing 50 years ago and have had a couple of 'career breaks'. Each time I have returned, once I get back up to speed I feel I am playing better than ever - it is as though the experiences of being away from playing inform and improve my approach. I definitely feel more relaxed and more distanced/objective in my view of what I contribute to the band - so all positive. But at the age of 67 I'm not sure I can risk another break!

[northstreet]

I think it's important to remember that, unless you're playing professionally, you play bass for fun. So if it stops being fun, why not just stop doing it, and do something else that is more enjoyable. But - and I can say this from experience - even if you decide to get rid of your gear, keep your favourite bass (and a practise amp if possible). Because one day - could be weeks, months, even years - you'll hear a song with a interesting bassline, and a little voice will say "wonder how that goes?". And it all starts again.

[jonnybass]

Hi George, talking to your bandmates is a great step with this.  Tell them how you are, they may be feeling the same and so a break might be good for more than just you, or help them find a dep, either for all the gigs for a few months or for some gigs.  These guys are pals and telling them might just help your headspace a wee bit.  

 

Ultimately, you need to find whats right for you to help your head, and thats what you need to do, things you might want to think about: 

 

keep your favourite bass handy if you can.  That way if you do want to pick it up its there nice and easy to get to.  Same goes for any other instrument you enjoy.

 

keeping in touch here, even if you arent playing and just fancy the chat Basschat is full of folk who are happy to chat about most things bass or non bass related. 

 

I just hope you are doing ok times can be tough just now, so I hope you find your headspace  

 

Jonny

[Skybone]

Quitting the band goes through my mind quite often, this isn't helped either by the depression or the bell-end of a singer.

 

The annoying thing is that getting into a room to make some noise is therapy for both (at least while the bell-end singer is singing, he's not talking).

[BigAlonBass]

A few years ago, I packed it all up, overnight. I'd simply had enough of "The Scene" at the time, so stuck my Gear in the corner of my Man-Cave, and went Fishing. 😎

Fast forward three years, and some old mates of mine had been 'dropped in the ...." by their Bassist, and needed one for a week-end of Gigs, so called me. I told them it had been far too long, and I'd be lucky if I could still play Root Notes, let alone add anything constructive to the Sound. 

They said, "Get to the Gigs, turn down if you have to, and just rumble along in the background" because the Gigs were rather important to them, so I did :-and enjoyed every minute of it! Granted, my Skill Levels were WAY down, and a lot of the time I was just 'filling the gaps' but they were happy that they had fulfilled their commitments, and I was surprised just how much fun it had been. 

"Don't suppose you fancy a couple of Rehearsals, do you?" the Guitarist said, and I replied "Why not?"

12 years later, the Arthritis decreed I had to end my Playing Days, but they had been the happiest 12 years of my (Musical) life. Try not Giving Up completely. Simply take a break, stick your Gear in a corner, and if something turns up that tickles your fancy, give it a go. You never know.  😉

[Rosie C]

3 minutes ago, BigAlonBass said:

Try not Giving Up completely. Simply take a break, stick your Gear in a corner, and if something turns up that tickles your fancy, give it a go. You never know.  😉

 

Sound advice! I got into a rut, sold all but one bass, and my big amps. But kept my favourite jazz bass and a half-decent practice amp. A year on I'm playing regularly again.

[Bassman1974]

Some great advice there guys. It's much appreciated and has all been taken on board.

 

Happens to pass at the moment that the band recently lost it's singer due to "musical differences", so it's in a bit of a transition period while a new member settles in.

 

For me, I'm doing much better head wise, and the love for playing has come back rather strongly. I do feel this is in part due to me concentrating on what I feel like I want to play, other than what the band would normally play. Admittedly, I'm rather familiar with the band stuff already.

 

Thanks again y'all. The fact that people care enough to take the time to respond with their thoughts is super helpful in keeping my head straight !

 

Cheers,

 

George

[ProjeKtWEREWOLF]

I played bass exclusively age 23-21. I then took up the drums (out of necessity) and stopped playing bass at all, essentially. I had to concentrate on being a metal drummer. 

After 6 or 7 years of drums, my musical life fell apart for a multitude of reasons, including work.  I didn't play *anything* for over a decade until the past few years where I would be casually noodling on bass. I even bought an electronic drum kit (I hate it so much!). 

It's in the past few months that I have played bass daily that I have been enjoying it again. 

The problem is that is I'm almost a beginner again. I find this hard to deal with because I was good! I was a sight reader, had a great ear and wide repertoire. I also became quite a good drummer but I also suck now...no more 240bpm blasts lol. 

Life changes, and sometimes we change too. Trying to be kind to myself. 

 

I'm joining a new covers band, doing 90s and early 2000s alt rock songs. Out of my comfort zone, but I think most things will be for now.   I've rambled and I don't know what point I was making. 

[Bassman1974]

On 29/02/2024 at 21:24, Harlequin74 said:

Hi George, i feel you on this one.

 

my advice would be to have a break from it. Arrange a dep and tell the lads you are having a few months off, and hope to be back.

 

i found the monotony of playing the same songs - more or less - for 5 years a downer and really hit my enthusiasm for something i have always loved. When i left i found i was playing stuff i had not looked at for ages, and being invited into other bands etc. Also i started learning keys which i never had the time for before. 
 

its been about six months now and just thinking of getting back in the saddle again, so to speak.

 

leave the door ajar, rather than slamming it closed, and give yourself time to breathe and think.

 

hope this helps George, and good luck,

Mike

This is exactly me at the moment Mike. Having re found my love of playing, I haven't felt the same about playing with others unfortunately. The thought of 60 mile round trips twice weekly for practice, coupled with all of those late Saturday nights after gigs, being unable to sleep because I'm wired to the hilt, was enough to make me quit the band last night. I have family reasons also that were hugely instrumental in my decision. It's been in the post for a while. The band are such a great bunch, and there's no hard feelings. Hell, I'm even in reserve if their new bassist ever can't make a gig. That's how good the relationship is with them.

 

Now, it's time to take a dive into what I want to play. I'm never happier than when I'm in my summer house in the garden on a warm day exploring new tunes, and trying out playing techniques that are new to me. Looking forward to it immensely.

 

Cheers,

George 

 

[Lozz196]

That`s a good way to do things George, I left my previous band at the end of 2019 as it was just getting too much for me, gigging every weekend all over the country and Europe, but similarly if they ever need a stand in I`d happily help out and they know that. I`ve even done a gig with my new band on the same bill as them and we all had a great laugh at that one.

[TheGreek]

Interesting reading for me as I have only played for about 2 hours this year.

I've lost all motivation and love for the instrument - playing with others used to be so inspirational but trying to find the right people is a nightmare. 

I've been having thoughts of clearing gear out for a while now and TBH I could do with the cash.

I'll probably keep at least one bass "just in case" but without the love it's hard to justify having 20+ basses and 6 - 7 rigs.