The first words You would say if......

[nilorius]

What would be the first words You would say if, returning from work to home, You would found Your bass pickups, scrached by Your pet - cat, when doing nail sharpening procedure? I would scream "goddamned"!

[Lozz196]

I think it would start with C

 

And end with UNT

[Reggaebass]

That’s quite a  cat-astrophe 

[Doctor J]

I would be thankful it wasn't covered in piss.

[Guest]

Some kind of reference to the gun safe and fetching my keys.

[Jean-Luc Pickguard]

I would ask the cat how he unzipped the gigbag

[Baloney Balderdash]

I would teach my cat how to play bass properly, and then start a bass duo with it, named "Baloney Pussy Cat".

 

Edited March 15, 2024 by Baloney Balderdash

[Maude]

How the f*** did a cat get in here! 

[TheGreek]

Miraculous...I don't have a cat 

[Burns-bass]

My kid once hit my Bryant double bass with a toy car and took a chunk out of it.

 

It was my fault. 

[nilorius]

25 minutes ago, Burns-bass said:

My kid once hit my Bryant double bass with a toy car and took a chunk out of it.

 

It was my fault. 

It was standart or radio controlled ?

[Machines]

Regular claw clipping and accessible scratchposts in my house of 4 mentalist felines has prevented this for me so far.

[mr4stringz]

5 hours ago, nilorius said:

What would be the first words You would say if, returning from work to home, You would found Your bass pickups, scrached by Your pet - cat, when doing nail sharpening procedure? I would scream "goddamned"!

Are you feline alright?

[upside downer]

5 hours ago, nilorius said:

What would be the first words You would say if, returning from work to home, You would found Your bass pickups, scrached by Your pet - cat, when doing nail sharpening procedure? I would scream "goddamned"!

 

I would firstly challenge Kendo Nagasaki to a game of Ker-Plunk, initiate peace talks between the warring factions in the Nagorno-Karabakh enclave and then take a nice, relaxing monobath with several close acquaintances. Sorted. Respect due 👍

[Downunderwonder]

That efen cat!

[Baloney Balderdash]

"What's up, pussy cat?"?

[Dan Dare]

I'd say I was a fool for not putting the instrument away safely.

[LowB_FTW]

3 hours ago, Burns-bass said:

It was my fault. 

For having a cat in the first place?

 

Mark

[tauzero]

I would consider how much worse it would have been if the unicorn had got in through the cat flap. I would also wonder why the cat has now got steel claws. As nothing even slightly approaching this has happened in over 40 years of cat ownership, I think it would be unlikely. I do make regular checks of the fence to prevent the caribou getting in and nibbling the croquet hoops.

[Downunderwonder]

4 hours ago, tauzero said:

prevent the caribou

From the little I know about caribou I'd say they find croquet hoops entirely disintesting fodder and / or your fence scary. Otherwise it would have to be some seriously serious fence to stop one from venturing to the manicured side if he had a mind to.

 

As for the cat manicuring itself on a bass pickup, that's one messed up cat not content to make war on bass via the cabinet.

Edited March 16, 2024 by Downunderwonder

[merello]

Why has my dog self-ID’d as a cat?

[SH73]

It's not a fish , it's an instrument..

[tauzero]

4 hours ago, Downunderwonder said:

From the little I know about caribou I'd say they find croquet hoops entirely disintesting fodder and / or your fence scary. Otherwise it would have to be some seriously serious fence to stop one from venturing to the manicured side if he had a mind to.

 

You should expand your cultural horizons to include Monty Python.

 

 

[tubbybloke68]

Years ago we had a big ole fluffy cub called smudge, he was exactly the same colour grey as the inside fur of my bass case at the time. Once when I’d left it open, empty on the floor he was kipping in it and I didn’t realise because of his perfect camouflaging.  and kicked it shut, he went f**king berserk . Shortly afterwards I stupidly left it open again and upon putting my Ibanez roadster in it for a rehearsal found he’d pissed in it! I tried everything but could never get rid of the smell. Had to dump it in the end ( case not cat) 🤣.Got his own back did the little bugger, lovely ole puddy cat though x 

[Jeffb28451]

Think I'd just call the dog. He likes my playing and hates the cat.