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End of the line…..


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Spoke to our lead guitarist and frontman tonight and it looks like the band is definitely over. Not for the reasons these things usually go belly up but sad all the same. We started off as work colleagues but due to appalling new management, three of us have left and our very talented frontman decided that he would try and go pro in his late 40s. I was a little nervous for him but after a few months of giving it a go he is doing amazingly well. He is averaging 15-20 gigs a month, mostly solo but a few as a duo with another mate of his. I know he will put his life and soul into and couldn’t be happier for him. Sadly our little side venture was very easy when we could practice in work after hours but has become increasingly hard, time consuming, and ultimately  poorly paying, that I have to accept it cannot be anywhere on his list of priorities and I fear we have played our last gig as that band.

 

This leaves me wondering what to do, I am completely self taught and at best would describe myself ‘competent’ I think. I always worked harder than the others as I felt I was by far the least talented but it was always a laugh as it was four mates messing about. We played pubs, weddings, charity events and loved it. We only played 6-10 times a year which suited us all. Can I be bothered to try and start from scratch with a new band and new people I don’t know? If I do, where would I find such a thing? And one with similar low levels of expectation?

 

It’s a bit weird as I genuinely could not be happier for my mate but am sad for what it means for our little venture.

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Sorry to hear about your situation. Can be really daunting having to change things up when you feel like you’ve got a good gig already that works well. 
 

Could you find some local jam nights or open mics and just drop in and play the odd song? Could be a good way to get to know other local musos. And, keep you playing a bit without all the agro of setting up again from scratch?  
 

Think of it as a positive that it may allow you to improve/develop your playing by working with other musos.

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Give yourself some time to think it through. As Mr Micawber said, "Something will turn up'. As stated above by Alex, there may be many opportunities yet to come for you. I really hope it works out for you. Do let us on BC know the outcome.

Best wishes.

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Yep, something will turn up, keep your playing up to scratch and socialise where local bands are and seize the opportunity when it comes along.

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Bandmix.

 

List your achievements. You're probably underselling yourself and a few 'auditions' and jams with people looking for a Bass player will probably give you a better idea of where you fit in. If you've played functions you're a step ahead of tons of players, not least because you have some good experience. 

 

Most bands are looking for competent players rather than virtuosos.  

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Your strengths are that you are prepared to put in the hard work to learn the songs and be a reliable bass player .

This alone stands you in good stead for any future bands .

Its not always the flash players that get the gigs .

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It is tough… my band of 20 years is fizzling out. Two gigs booked this year (both a bit crap, one unpaid) and a not very inspiring rehearsal last Sunday.


A decent number of gigs booked with the other (not as much fun) band but we’re moving house next year and the added distance will knock that on the head.


Dunno if I can be bothered starting again at nearly 50… 

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Keep your skills up to speed, get out there and something will turn up if you want it to. My last band, a function outfit drifted apart after 6yrs and at 63yrs old I thought the party was over.

I placed my profile on Bandmix and 3 weeks later I was in a '80s cover band.

Go for it!

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I'm in the same sort of situation. Probably moving house fairly soon and one of the bands I'm in is fizzling out anyway. The other band never rehearses and it's not too far away for me to make the effort for that one because we earn decent money. I'll be checking out the local music scene though to see if anything piques my interest. If not I'm happy to back off a bit. I've had a good run.

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4 hours ago, SumOne said:

If you still have all the rest of the band why not continue but with a new singer? 

He is also the lead guitarist and a proper talent so would be hard to replace to be honest. I did chat with the other guitarist but he was happy to just bounce along and doesn’t really fancy the hassle of getting someone new in, sure the drummer is similar (and plays in other bands so this was always a mates sideline anyway). It’s possible I guess but think it's unlikely.

 

To be honest, the money never bothered me at all, we only did weddings when people who came to see us asked us to, or people who knew us well. It was just the perfectly chilled mix of a few fun gigs here and there but with zero band politics or hassle.

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The singer in the band I'm in is 66 and has had some serious health issues. She seems as keen as ever, and still sounds great, but I feel the writing is on the wall for the band (especially as gigs will be on hold for a while, as she has an operation due in June). We've been gigging for over 20 years without a hitch until now.

 

I've formed other bands over the last few years but lack of commitment, from other band members. has meant they fizzled out eventually - or I left in a huff.

 

I'm no spring chicken either (61 last December) and I don't really want to join a band of similarly aged old codgers, who just want to kill time fiddling about in a band until they get carted off to the care home.

 

Maybe I should call it a day, sell all my gear, and buy a Ferrari (Do Ferrari make mobility scooters?).

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17 hours ago, T-Bay said:

This leaves me wondering what to do, I am completely self taught and at best would describe myself ‘competent’ I think. I always worked harder than the others as I felt I was by far the least talented but it was always a laugh as it was four mates messing about. We played pubs, weddings, charity events and loved it. We only played 6-10 times a year which suited us all. Can I be bothered to try and start from scratch with a new band and new people I don’t know? If I do, where would I find such a thing? And one with similar low levels of expectation?

 

Have a look at what's out there, on Joinmyband, Bandmix, Gumtree, Facebook, etc. Avoid the obvious arseholes and see if you can link up with a band wanting to do a similar amount of gigging as you do.

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Maybe your singer lead guitarist will be happy to add another arrow in his quiver with your band. You might continue a bit even if it's on the side for him, as you already know each other and your set. 

Don't give up anyway. It's always depressing when a band ends, and there's always a new one coming up. 

Competent, hard-working bassists are kinda hard to find, so you still have a good chance 🙂 

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Trust me, you might describe yourself negatively as competent, but you will be surprised at how many people in bands don't reach that level!

So go out and find something, or find a replacement for him

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1 minute ago, Woodinblack said:

Trust me, you might describe yourself negatively as competent, but you will be surprised at how many people in bands don't reach that level!

So go out and find something, or find a replacement for him

This is a very good point. In 2020 as I left my last band I would have described myself as fairly competent too, after all doing punk/Oi I never had too much to do. But I then started jamming with some mates doing 70s classic rock and found that I was much more capable than I had previously given myself credit for. I suspect that may well be the same for many of us.

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28 minutes ago, Woodinblack said:

Trust me, you might describe yourself negatively as competent, but you will be surprised at how many people in bands don't reach that level!

So go out and find something, or find a replacement for him

 

23 minutes ago, Lozz196 said:

This is a very good point. In 2020 as I left my last band I would have described myself as fairly competent too, after all doing punk/Oi I never had too much to do. But I then started jamming with some mates doing 70s classic rock and found that I was much more capable than I had previously given myself credit for. I suspect that may well be the same for many of us.

Thanks guys, but I am far from a musical genius! I tend to replace any form of understanding/ talent by hard work so I am ok with what I know but beyond that if it comes to improvisation or different keys I am relegated to root notes and few twiddles here and there to fill in! Perhaps, I should fill the gap with some lessons 😂

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As others have said or hinted at - What you describe as competency is really all most bands require from a capability point of view.  I've come to realise that what's also really important is being an easy person to get along with and simply turning up.

 

Also agree with the posts mentioning local Jam nights, go along to a few and observe if you don't feel immediately confident enough to ask for a go.  In my experience, they can be very well run or 'not'.  Either way you'll meet plenty of other musos and who knows what might happen.....

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I thought I was heading downhill after moving country and a couple of local ish groups didn't work out. 

 

Answering one advertisement changed everything. Despite not having done anything significant in 14 years, I'm now in a band with talent and aspirations that I had pretty much given up on. You really never.know what's out there!

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12 hours ago, ardi100 said:

I thought I was heading downhill after moving country and a couple of local ish groups didn't work out. 

 

Answering one advertisement changed everything. Despite not having done anything significant in 14 years, I'm now in a band with talent and aspirations that I had pretty much given up on. You really never.know what's out there!

Congrats mate. That is good news indeed.

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