So how did your band break-up go then?

[Gasman]

Acrimonious? Violent? Boredom? 'It's not you, it's me...' (or vice-versa)? Well, my band managed to disassemble itself in 24 hours, largely by Whatsapp. I wasn't too surprised because the new PA had become a running battle between the guy who had managed the old analogue one for years (tbh not too successfully) but couldn't get to grips at all with the new digital one that our gitrist had specced and obtained for a good price. Trouble was, the setup time for the new one seemed to be two-plus hours versus 40 minutes or less for the old one, often leaving little or no time for a proper sound check. A further complication was the emergence of unexplained feedback, that in retrospect might well have been due to an acoustic guitar and/or my sax sitting on stage ready for use but not muted (could only mute them at the desk, and desk operation by the original mix-man was one of the big issues...)

 

Anyway, after last weekend's gig the old guard's spokesperson messaged all saying that they had decided to use the old PA until things were sorted (that is, probably forever) without discussing it openly with me and our guitrist; he saw a conspiracy theory, read people their horoscopes and walked out. I was left in no-man's land, initially inclined to follow him as the band is going to be very bland without him, but then relented somewhat, agreeing to play the upcoming gigs until the others find a new bass player - I will then leave and probably regret it, but something will turn up.

 

Such a shame really, but when I consider the vast differences in experience, background and musical ability between the two 'sides' I'm amazed the band lasted as long as it did... Whatever, I will remember it for the good times, and move on - what else is there to do?

[colleya]

Supremely amicable. We knew that 2023 was going to be the last year due to geographical differences.

 

So we booked all of our favourites venues and had a bloody whale of a time. Played some of our best shows and went out on a real high after 13 years.

 

We're all still good mates, the WhatsApp group is still lively and we're all meeting up in Coniston in August for a bit of a reunion set at a little local mini festival.

[jonno1981]

Played a gig in London once where we went on first. The next band broke up during our set! We looked out the window of the Camden barfly and could see members of said band fighting each other in the street. Cue awkward 45 minute gap until the headline band played. Their tour manager was loading out their gear and merch by himself. All in all a bizarre experience. 

[TimR]

The drummer/singer/'gig getter' moved out of the area. I realised that the 2 guitarists were not talented enough nor motivated enough to find another singer and drummer, and get gigs.

 

So I made my excuses and left as well.

 

No great loss, as in 3 years we'd probably done less than 10 gigs and gone through 2 singers. 

[dmccombe7]

I've had various band break up scenarios from amicable to bitter break ups. 

One band i left was down to the BL who only wanted to rehearse. I was angry about that one as i had made it clear from outset the travelling of 80 mile round trip over winter conditions and country roads i wanted to recoup my costs thru gigs otherwise there was no point joining. He assured me of plenty of gig opportunities in the area.

 

Had one band that had got together to play classic rock like Deep Purple, Rainbow, Whitesnake, Sabbath, Metallica etc and we had worked hard on the set list when the weaker of the guitarists with the least experience asked if we could do his local event in his village. We all agreed and after it being confirmed he comes back and says we need to change the set and drop half of the heavier songs for pop rock songs and chart hits. WTF was my response and said "Not for me" I said i would play the gig but i'm not staying in a band that wants to change 50-60% of its set list to accommodate a venue. They managed to get someone else. I didn't really fall out over it but it was an odd one where the least experienced guy was all of a sudden making the decisions on what the band should be doing. Not sure why the others just seemed to go along with it.

 

And last but not least this is more of an audition thing but thought i would share as its funny. I went for an audition with a Celtic Rock band. When i was setting up my bass gear the two female violinists told me the previous guy was a perfect fit for the band. It thru me a bit but the guitarist and myself got on really well during the audition and i think i had won him over. Anyways i didn't get the job and it went to the guy the girls "liked". Now the funny bit is that approx a year later they contacted me to see if i was still interested in joining and the job was mine. I had a good laugh at them and said NO and explained about what the girls had said when i was setting up and i found that extremely rude and i wouldn't work with people like that. I also had my current Glam band just started so was sorted for bands.

Anyway that's my best ones. 

[Franticsmurf]

In the early years of my career, while I hadn't been saved and was still a geetard, the bass player and keyboard player in the band were managing to wind each other up passively - each found things the other did annoying and/or frustrating but nothing was said out loud. We gigged and rehearsed and since they were on opposite sides of the stage the gigs were ok. But then we went into the studio to record a demo (in the days of cassette tape demos) and the keyboardist took charge, mainly because he was on a Music Tech course and he'd managed to blag studio time at the college he was attending. The bassist kept changing his arrangements (to me it seemed it was on a whim). The whole band was getting frustrated at what should have been a simple evening's recording of songs we'd been playing and rehearsing for a year as it turned into a two day event. There were mutterings but it was at the next rehearsal, in a cramped and sweaty basement studio, where the detonation occurred as the keyboardist, fed up with another 'if I play this line instead' moment from the bassist, hurled a large metal bar stool across the room at him. There was an impact, fortunately not full on and somehow it missed the kit lying around. There was a shocked silence from the rest of the band, some swear words that wouldn't be allowed on here and the bassist left. We got a dep in to fulfill the gigs that had been booked, spent some time looking for a permanent replacement and slowly the band faded away.

       

[ezbass]

Rather by small increments and then it was done. Having said that, we’ve not actually, officially split up. We were unable to commit to some gigs due to the lead singer’s availability being torn between several outlets, then Covid hit, we did  an outdoor livestream, I moved to to Scotland and the keyboard player moved to Blackpool (we were a London/Surrey based band), so being a working band became moot. I still love all those guys and hope we might play the occasional reunion gig. In fact, I was listening to our demo on the way home, last night and I was struck by how good we were (IMO of course). Here’s an example:

 

 

Edited June 3 by ezbass

[Jackroadkill]

I've had a few; we wound up a really good band that had run its' course very amicably and I still see the other lads pretty often and love reminiscing with them (and there are plenty of high-jinks to reminisce about...!).  There was another when I fired the singer because he couldn't be arsed to learn, write or arrange the songs and another where the singer shat himself at rehearsal, blamed the rest of us and I broke the band up there and then because the drama and hassle was just too much.

 

The best/worst was not the band breaking up, which happened some time later, but when I first left my first "real" band.  I've told the story before, so I'll keep it brief:  We'd recorded a demo and sent it around the record labels (this was the early 2000's) and it had received the sum total of sod-all interest, until it landed at Visible Noise, who were the label du jour and riding high with the success of Lostprophets (hmmm, that didn't end well, did it?).  They showed a bit of interest and the singer/bass player (I was on guitar at the time) went mental.  Suddenly we had to write commercially viable songs, make an album with 14 potential singles etc etc.  It all went horrid, from being an almost-credible noise-rock band to some sort of nasty indie-pop-emo bollocks.  I tried to register my unhappiness but it fell on deaf ears.  I was only a young 'un and didn't know what to do, so at one rehearsal I went for a wee, climbed out of the bog window and got in my car and drove off, leaving all my gear and the band!

[super al]

9 hours ago, ezbass said:

Rather by small increments and then it was done. HavingI said that, we’ve not actually, officially split up. We were unable to commit to some gigs due to the lead singer’s availability being torn between several outlets, then Covid hit, we did  an outdoor livestream, I moved to to Scotland and the keyboard player moved to Blackpool (we we a London/Surrey based band), so being a working band became moot. I still love all those guys and hope we might play the occasional reunion gig. In fact, I was listening to our demo on the way home, last night and I was struck by how good we were (IMO of course). Here’s an example:

 

 

Love bands with keytars, I've been in two bands where the keyboard player pulls out a keytar... I think it must be connected to my love of 80s funk 😆

 

I had one band split up where the catalyst was one of the guitarists backing into my car and then speeding off! Basically a hit and run whilst I was bringing my gear upstairs from the venue (the Hobbit, Southampton). I had no idea but the drummer was looking closely at my bumper 😆.

The whole scenario makes me laugh now but at the time it was a bit awkward and resulted in a couple of months weirdness and three of us buggering off to form another band that wrote a couple of EPs and had a great time supporting bands at places like the Joiners, Talking Heads and Hamptons round So'ton way. My car wasn't that badly damaged anyway 😁

[NancyJohnson]

Last two breakups both over WhatsApp; it's just cleaner than doing stuff face to face.

 

Oldest one was acrimonious; sadness was I lost a band I'd started eight years before and also that musically we were moving into a very creative period.  The straw that broke the camel's back was being questioned why I was pulling out of a gig the day my father-in-law passed away ("Don't you realise how hard it is to get gigs?")

 

Last one I just jumped on the coattails of the drummer, project had just run it's course.

 

While issues had been building (friction/apathy), both these went from being active projects to dead in the water in a matter of minutes.

 

 

[ezbass]

I have been in 2 bands where the band leaders were getting out of hand. Being an older guy and not willing to put up with their shenanigans, I told them, in a not so roundabout way, to shove. I’ve played with one of them since and he’s a much better person and didn’t hold a grudge, the other one, however, is still a butt hole as band mates worked with him and reported that nothing had changed (I did warn them).

[Happy Jack]

Surprisingly few band break-ups on my CV. Almost invariably it's me deciding that I can't be arsed to put up with any more of this nonsense, and walking.

 

Sometimes the band I've left then falls apart, sometimes they replace me, sometimes they don't notice I've gone.

 

C'est la vie ...

[Norris]

11 hours ago, Jackroadkill said:

the singer shat himself at rehearsal, blamed the rest of us

How? What?! Eh?!! 😂

[dclaassen]

1 minute ago, Norris said:

How? What?! Eh?!! 😂

Not a literal statement, I hope!

[BigRedX]

1. Was mostly a recording band so when the individual members moved to different parts of the country to go to university we managed to keep it going, getting together during the holidays to write and record, and even had our music played on John Peel's Radio 1 show. However the percussionist and myself who had both moved to Nottingham started a new, more gig-orientated band there which gradually became more important to us.

 

2. Singer left to get a job in London. The rest of the band decided to call it a day rather than look for a replacement.

 

3. Band ended after I quit as I wasn't happy with the musical direction the others wanted to go in.

 

4. Band ended after the singer and bassist (I was playing guitar in this band) who were in a relationship, split up.

 

5. Having managed to keep the band going for 13 years through numerous line-up changes everything finally came to a head when I had a blazing row with the singer (who was massively insecure and a complete diva at the same time) over musical direction. This is the only time I've been directly involved in an acrimonious band split.

 

6. Band ended after I quit because I got an offer to join another band that was more active.

 

7. Band ended after the singer and guitarist had a falling out.

 

8. Band ended after the singer became too unwell to gig. 

[dmccombe7]

6 minutes ago, Norris said:

How? What?! Eh?!! 😂

Yes i was wondering about the wording of that too.

Dave

[MacDaddy]

12 hours ago, Jackroadkill said:

and another where the singer shat himself at rehearsal, blamed the rest of us

 

💩 ?

[neepheid]

The only band I've ever been in that properly broke up was very anti-climactic but pretty jarring - a band meet up in the pub was arranged, guitarist/songwriter/nominal band leader arrived last, told us he didn't want to do it any more, then left.  Me, the drummer and the singer had a pint and absorbed the news (or the news was absorbed by the beer?).

 

Band over.

[Lozz196]

I’ve only left 2 that then folded, other than that replacements found/bands carried on.

 

1 - glam/heavy rock band. We’d been together for about 7/8 years, different lineups etc. We were gigging 3 maybe 4 times a year at that point, not enough for me so I went elsewhere and got a position in a regular gigging band doing punk covers. As they had a full calendar they had to be my priority.

 

2 - the punk covers band. They’d already been around for a while, we managed a few years, split for 6 months, reformed but it wasn’t the same. The guitarist could only do 4 gigs a year with 2 rehearsals for each gig due to his wife telling him this (turns out he and the drummer were forming another band which she seemingly didn’t mind, or more likely the afore mentioned limits were nothing to do with her at all). As such where we were super tight & good we became average so I left and the band folded. From those ashes the singer and myself formed Knock Off, the most successful musical thing either of us have ever done.

[Greg Edwards69]

11 hours ago, super al said:

Love bands with keytars, I've been in two bands where the keyboard player pulls out a keytar... I think it must be connected to my love of 80s funk 😆

Every now and then I get the urge to acquire a Keytar, even if only an inexpensive one. But then I remind myself that, a) I have no real use for one in a band context, and, b) I'd look a right tit playing one.

[neepheid]

1 minute ago, Greg Edwards69 said:

Every now and then I get the urge to acquire a Keytar, even if only an inexpensive one. But then I remind myself that, a) I have no real use for one in a band context, and, b) I'd look a right tit playing one.

 

I look like a right tit not playing a keytar 

 

[dmccombe7]

6 minutes ago, Greg Edwards69 said:

Every now and then I get the urge to acquire a Keytar, even if only an inexpensive one. But then I remind myself that, a) I have no real use for one in a band context, and, b) I'd look a right tit playing one.

But is it worth having half your brain removed ? 

Dave

[BigRedX]

[LeftyJ]

Quietly (and unintentionally, really), and amicable. Our ADHD singer was juggling 4 kids (at the time, she's at 5 now) and too many hobbies and just didn't have the time and the focus. She was completely unreliable to make any appointments with - and entirely unaware and oblivious of it. Eventually it just didn't work out anymore and we had to tell her. Together we decided it was in our shared best interest if she quit the band and we found someone else to replace her. This proved to be easier said than done. We were an originals band who played poppy metal. We had one album out and had played about 20-30 gigs per year in small clubs and sometimes as opening act for bigger names in our genre. Not quite established, but we were making a bit of a name for ourselves.

 

We were in the process of writing new material for a second album, and were looking for someone who was equally amazing as our old singer: she had great pitch, a great voice, good English pronounciation, and was able to create good and creative vocal lines on the spot in jams, with temporary nonsense-lyrics. Turned out she wasn't that easy to replace... We held auditions for weeks and had about 10 female singers try out. Only one of them was any good but she was a true pro and we couldn't offer her what she was looking for - because all of us had different day jobs and no intention of making music professionally, with the exception of our drummer who had a degree in contemporary music. So she kindly thanked us for our time and left. The others were all terrible: either absolute beginners, or just an absolute mismatch to our sound. And none were creative (or confident) enough to join in on a jam and create on the spot - which is OK, we were perfectly aware this is difficult when playing with a bunch of guys you've never met before. 

 

Then our lead guitarist left. He already had a PhD in chemistry, and would go to Oxford University for 3 years for a postdoc research project of 3 years. That's about 8 years ago now, and he never came back . He's a professor at the university of Barcelona now. Our band is inactive ever since, but it's safe to say we all quit.

 

The 3 remaining members (rhythm guitarist, drummer and myself) still played together in a doom metal project since late 2019, but unfortunately the guitarist was booted a couple of months ago for not making enough of an effort. That was (and still is) a real bummer for me, having played together since 2009 

[Len_derby]

3 hours ago, NancyJohnson said:

Last two breakups both over WhatsApp; it's just cleaner than doing stuff face to face.

 

 

 

Ain’t this the case with WhatsApp and text? I’ve had a band break up around me due to a silly spat between two members quickly getting out of control on WhatsApp. A temporary disagreement gets escalated because some people can’t, or won’t,  walk away and calm down.