Band Wreckers!

[Gasman]

I've just realised - there's a band-wrecker on the loose around here! 

 

I'd define this type of person as someone that joins a band, leaves on a whim with minimal  notice to join another, then repeats this over and over, leaving a trail of broken bands, disappointed venues and bad feelings - except, of course, for him/her self.

 

The current scenario I'm experiencing:  let's call the bands Z, A, B and C and the wrecker W

 

Band A is a 4-piece, G1-G2-B-D. W has joined band A as G2 after quitting band Z in his usual style. After six months, W emails the rest of us with breaking news - he's leaving to join band B! We cannot do any gigs in the book as a 3-piece, can't find a replacement G2, so band A folds.

 

W acts as personnel fixer for band B. As I'd been gig-less for 6 months I answer a JMB ad for a bass player, not knowing that W placed it, so a big surprise at the audition for me, but I get the job with band B (S/G, G1, G2, B, D). this goes OK for six months, then W announces that he needs a break and will have to leave almost immediately. Panic stations - but band B finds a KB player and the band continues, although the sound, setlist and dynamic has to be reworked at the cost of a lot of extra work.

 

After three months W contacts our BL and says he would like to come back, he's missing us. He's told that there is no way the KB player can be sacked now, nor can the gigs we have fund a 6-piece, so no thank you, but there is a period where he could dep several gigs with us to cover the KB player's hols. W says yes.

 

A month later band B is going through an internal personnel crisis due to misunderstandings over the new PA, and G1 leaves overnight. W hears about this and refuses to cover the dep gigs he'd agreed to do 'in solidarity'. How strange! But then we then find out that W has in the meantime joined band C and has persuaded our ex G1 to join it too!  Band B is now struggling to find deps for upcoming gigs and has had to cancel several already.

 

Can you see a pattern here or is it just me being unhealthily paranoid? Have you had similar experiences? Do tell!

 

[GuyR]

Do I win a prize for guessing what “W” might stand for if not wrecker?

[steantval]

Blimey, this is like a question on the 1% Club 🤪

[TimR]

Have you been invited to play in Band C? 

[Pseudonym]

This reminds me of the calamitous gig where Plan B and Mel C tried to cover the whole of Kid A. Let’s not even think about the time ABC preceded XTC at the BBC and poor old Jools needed an EKG.

 

Sorry, Gasman. Carry on. W sounds like a bit of a four-letter type.

[Doctor J]

He's been in AC/DC?

[tauzero]

Soon to be a presenter on CBeebies.

[Lozz196]

Calling Sesame Street........

 

But on a serious note, this person sounds toxic, completely unaware that the reason for the collapses across all these bands lays at their own feet, sadly too many of those types around in music.

[Downunderwonder]

Can you smooth things over with G1 and leave W out of it forevermore?

 

It seems W only came back in part time to Band B to poach G1 for his new project.

[Newfoundfreedom]

W sounds A bit Nonchalant when it comes to Keeping a band together. It sounds like Everything he does needs to Revolve around him!

[Dan Dare]

53 minutes ago, Lozz196 said:

But on a serious note, this person sounds toxic, completely unaware that the reason for the collapses across all these bands lays at their own feet, sadly too many of those types around in music.

 

They exist in all forms of business. It's a little naïve to expect that one will not encounter selfish, ambitious people in music.

 

On the flip side (balance, etc), if someone gets a better offer, it's fair enough that they will move on, although ideally they should do so decently, honour existing commitments, etc. In fairness to W and his ilk, I've been in a position where I was the only person unhappy with what a band was doing and where it was going (or not).  Once you've tried discussing your concerns and failed because nobody else agrees with you, your only options are to suck it up or up sticks and leave.

[TimR]

I think moving on and then poaching other musicians isn't really a good look. Probably not helped when musicians feel they can only be in one band or the band thinks musicians should only be in one band. 

 

I'm playing in 3 bands at the moment. No one seems to be that worried. It's not like its a full time job. I've not had a practice with any of them in over a month. 

[TimR]

I think moving on and then poaching other musicians isn't really a good look. Probably not helped when musicians feel they can only be in one band or the band thinks musicians should only be in one band. 

 

I'm playing in 3 bands at the moment. No one seems to be that worried. It's not like its a full time job. I've not had a practice with any of them in over a month. 

[chris_b]

56 minutes ago, Dan Dare said:

 

. . . .  It's a little naïve to expect that one will not encounter selfish, ambitious people in music.

 

 

Some of the best band leaders I've played with have been that.

[Rosie C]

1 hour ago, TimR said:

I'm playing in 3 bands at the moment. No one seems to be that worried. It's not like its a full time job.

 

and yet, one band I was in everyone else was only in that band. I also played in various community music projects, solo etc. and that really was a problem for them - even though I made every rehearsal & gig, etc.

 

[Lozz196]

1 hour ago, Dan Dare said:

 

They exist in all forms of business. It's a little naïve to expect that one will not encounter selfish, ambitious people in music.

 

On the flip side (balance, etc), if someone gets a better offer, it's fair enough that they will move on, although ideally they should do so decently, honour existing commitments, etc. In fairness to W and his ilk, I've been in a position where I was the only person unhappy with what a band was doing and where it was going (or not).  Once you've tried discussing your concerns and failed because nobody else agrees with you, your only options are to suck it up or up sticks and leave.

Oh I get that, in all honesty I`ve more than expected to meet those types along the way. I do think it best to move on when something isn`t right, however I similarly think that it`s fair to not leave people in the lurch. I`ve moved on from bands several times but the only time I`ve left instantly was a band which had two bassists anyway. I would feel very uncomfortable leaving a band unable to gig if they had gigs booked. 

[TimR]

2 hours ago, Rosie C said:

 

and yet, one band I was in everyone else was only in that band. I also played in various community music projects, solo etc. and that really was a problem for them - even though I made every rehearsal & gig, etc.

 

 

Yes. That's what I said in the 1st paragraph. Seems a bit odd to me that people make music and being in bands like some kind of 'team' activity.

 

I'm just upfront. When I joined the first band I was in another band (I could see the writing was on the wall and was just hanibging around waiting for it to peter out). I told them so they all knew, and they didn't have a problem. Usually it's the other guys that can't make the gigs anyway. 

[Bassfinger]

I've just quit my band today.

 

Something had been annoying me and I mentioned it the other day.  They got slightly arsey with me, accusing me of making ultimatums.

 

I told that wasn't the case and I was willing to find a compromise position that would give us all a little bit of what we want and was given an emphatic "no".  So I quit with no notice, leaving them in the lurch for two forthcoming gigs (which I'm not proud of, but I did my best to propose a compromise.)

 

So instead of them getting some of what they wanted they now have 100% of nothing, and they're probably thinking of me as a band wrecker.

 

 But another door almost immediately opened, and I'm doing a few dates with a local country act. Not my thing, but more palatable than some of the pop pap I was having to play with the old outfit so it'll be w nice change of gear while I decide what to do longer term, ie, find another band, devote some time to home studio recording, maybe teaching, or whatever.

Edited July 4 by Bassfinger

[Beedster]

Bands 🤔

[Gasman]

21 hours ago, TimR said:

Have you been invited to play in Band C? 

It's funny you should mention that - he did indeed get in touch with me a couple of weeks ago, asking if I was OK clinging to the wreckage of band B, and that if not I should get in touch... 

 

I haven't, even tho' it would allow me to play again with the superb guitard that walked out of band B. Why will I not take the bait? Well, I feel that I have a commitment to band B that I intend to honour while I can reconcile doing  that with being the full-time carer for Mrs G whose Parkinson's is gradually worsening. After that I guess it's going to be playing with myself in the spare bedroom!

Edited July 3 by Gasman
Expansion

[martin8708]

I prefer to call them Drifters , they join the band with great gusto and fanfare , but either don’t turn up / cause arguments / don’t learn material or try and change set list to suit themselves . 
They leave , join another band and repeat the same procedure .
If the music community is quite close knit , they get a reputation quite quickly. 

[uk_lefty]

8 hours ago, martin8708 said:

I prefer to call them Drifters , they join the band with great gusto and fanfare , but either don’t turn up / cause arguments / don’t learn material or try and change set list to suit themselves . 
They leave , join another band and repeat the same procedure .
If the music community is quite close knit , they get a reputation quite quickly. 

I think a lot of people like the idea of being in a band and the attention they get by joining one. They just don't like doing the hard work to stay in the band and cause drama or bail out before their lack of skill and commitment is exposed. They probably spend more time telling new band mates about their expensive gear than rehearsing too.

[JazzyJ]

10 minutes ago, uk_lefty said:

I think a lot of people like the idea of being in a band and the attention they get by joining one. They just don't like doing the hard work to stay in the band and cause drama or bail out before their lack of skill and commitment is exposed. They probably spend more time telling new band mates about their expensive gear than rehearsing too.

That's been the issue with the last three keyboardists that have bailed. We are now sticking as a four piece with the singist on keys.

I'm getting cheesed off with lack of progress despite my attempts to push forward. I want to be out gigging and we are a way off yet.

[Lozz196]

3 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

I think a lot of people like the idea of being in a band and the attention they get by joining one. They just don't like doing the hard work to stay in the band and cause drama or bail out before their lack of skill and commitment is exposed. They probably spend more time telling new band mates about their expensive gear than rehearsing too.

Definitely, in my last band we used to see a lot of this, bands wanting to use full back-lines (often even asking to use guitars) as "they were travelling to the gig" - well none of the other bands lived at the venue so they must have been "travelling" as well, spending an hour on a "sound check" which actually turned out to be them rehearsing their set as they clearly never did this anywhere else, and as soon as they were at the venue their priorities were where`s the free beer rather than checking out the stage/PA/lighting/sound-man/areas to display merch etc. As one old-hand said, they weren`t bands, they were groups of blokes on a Saturday night out.