Quitting a band

[Bassfinger]

Team,

 

I recently quit my main band.  I wont go into the reasons, I freely admit it was as much my fault as theirs but I work on the basis that I do it for fun and if it should no longer be fun then it's not worth doing. 

 

So I quit.  Politely, no hard feelings, wishing them all the best.

 

Having done so I immediately mesaaged the unofficial band leader, the guy who'd set it all up, to apologise to him. He was fine about it.  I also said that I'd cover one last gig on the 13th, as that'd be short notice to get a dep, for him to learn our arrangements and different keys etc, then I'd shake their hands, wish them the best and be on my way and they can buy me out my not insignificant share of the bands equipment (all documented who paid for what.)

 

For reasons I don't understand (not that it matters) our drummist doesn't want me there, and wants to use another bassist. Fine, if he doesn't want me there then it's not likely the atmosphere would be brilliant so I'm happy to stand aside. However, if they're bringing in a replacement who is going to be earning a reasonable sum per engagement they need to buy me out of my share of the gear first. You can't expect me to pay for lunch and someone else to sit down and eat it, particularly as I'd already offered to eat it myself.

 

They've clearly done the maths and realised buying me out would wipe out the new guys first fee and more, and he'd essentially be playing for free. They either don't want to do this, or he's not willing to play a gig or two for free, and are trying to guilt trip me that they'll have to cancel the gig, etc. 

 

Well, no they don't have to cancel because I specifically offered to cover that engagement so they wouldn't have to cancel and their reputation as an act wouldn't be damaged amintlocal venues.

 

So it's a stalemate.  They dont want me to play, I won't let them bring in a replacement and allow him to earn decent money using geat that I paid towards,  and want buying out.

 

I've told them I don't want to argue, it's a simple binary choice. They're going to have to buy me out at some stage and I'd rather not get MU legal services involved.

 

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to simply gift them hundreds of pounds worth of gear so that someone else can make money using it?  I'm not hard up and plan to donate it to a worthy national charity, so it's not even like I'm insisting upon being bought out due to some sense of greedy avarice, but I feel they're trying to extract the wee wee and I'm not willing to just roll over.

Edited July 6 by Bassfinger

[Mickeyboro]

You’re not in a very strong position, unfortunately. When do they propose paying you off? If it’s just the one gig I am not sure I’d be fussed. After all, how can you stop them playing?

[casapete]

I think your stance is entirely reasonable

As soon as your agreed time playing with the band is over then you should be able

to leave with all that’s yours, or the monetary equivalent anyway. 

[Dad3353]

I'd suggest fixing a date with them for getting the monies paid over, and let them get on with their gig programme. 

[Franticsmurf]

I don't think you're unreasonable to expect being paid your share of the cost of the gear as the band (and new bassist) will be benefiting. Personally, and as long as it doesn't compromise the buy out, I wouldn't be worried whether or not I was playing the gig. You've done the decent thing and offered to cover it, if they choose not to use your services, that's ok. But I would certainly want clarity on when the buy-out was going to happen. How they organise that within the new line up is up to them but I would be thinking that the money should come to you within a couple of gigs.

[NancyJohnson]

4 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

They dont want me to play, I won't let them bring in a replacement and allow him to earn decent money using gear that I paid towards,  and want buying out.

 

 

 

Read through the post.  This seems to be the main point. 

 

i)  You quit.
ii)  As a consequence, while they claim 'no hard feelings', they don't want you there.  So it's over.

iii)  You won't let them bring in a replacement and allow him to use gear you've contributed to monetarily. 

 

The key point is #3.  You won't let them bring a replacement in and use gear you part own.  Hmm.  Well, good luck with that.  Realistically, what are you going to do?  Jump on the stage where they're playing with a placard saying you own <insert percentage here> of their live gear and the show needs to be stopped?

 

Quitting a band hurts, I know it does, you've worked hard and someone else is now going to reap glory from your work.  To resolve this, from the outset, work out what you've spent and depreciate it accordingly, agree on a figure (go in high, which will allow you to take a drop in return) and give them your bank details in the initial contact email/text.  Leave it to them to continue gigging and let the old guys pay you back.

 

 

[Bassfinger]

4 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

You’re not in a very strong position, unfortunately. When do they propose paying you off? If it’s just the one gig I am not sure I’d be fussed. After all, how can you stop them playing?

I can't stop them playing and don't want to. The whole point of me ofrering to cofer the imminent gig is so theg could play. I'm not bothered about playing the gig for myself, the point is I offered so they wouldn't be disadvanted by having to cancel.

 

However, I can document payments and ownership agreements and the sum involved would be worth taking to small claims, and id include in that rental for the new guys use. Sister is a solicitor, albeit in a different speciality, and reckons my case would be fairly solid.

 

But I don't want to. I just want them to do the honourable thing, I'll gift the money to the Epilipsy Society, everyone moves on.

 

Oh, and one of the subs is in my garage so they will struggle if I held it hostage. But I don't want the damn thing.

 

 

Edited July 6 by Bassfinger
hilarious typos. I must sound like constable crabtree

[Happy Jack]

I'm sorry @Bassfinger but IMHO you need to pick your fights, and this is one to walk away from. The best you can hope for is to get your money a few weeks earlier while possibly picking up a fair amount of bad publicity amongst the musos you know ... can you imagine how all this would be spun by four or five others in the band?

 

I can see that you're well pissed off and I imagine that I would be too, but I suspect that you'd be pissing into the wind on this one. Best just let it go.

 

[meterman]

Is the gear things like shared PA etc? Do the rest of the band have jobs, pensions, savings, band funds, etc?

 

If so, they can afford to buy your share out and get the other guy to play the gig. And they should do that. Alternatively if it’s only a couple of hundred quids worth and you were going to donate it to charity, why not just walk anyway. You haven’t really lost anything, and they don’t sound like the kind of folks I’d particularly want to share a Scotch egg with, never mind a stage or even a rehearsal room.

 

Or, nick all the mics and flog them on FB marketplace and donate the funds to charity. And for afters, taser the rest of the band for being d1cks, new bassist included. You could always tell them, “No gain without pain” or something 💥😂

[Geek99]

9 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

.

 

Oh, and one of the subs is in my garage so they will struggle. But I don't want the damn thing.

Sell it, make good some of your losses and walk away. When they have to replace it they might think twice about not being reasonable 

[ezbass]

16 minutes ago, Dad3353 said:

I'd suggest fixing a date with them for getting the monies paid over, and let them get on with their gig programme. 

 

15 minutes ago, NancyJohnson said:

To resolve this, from the outset, work out what you've spent and depreciate it accordingly, agree on a figure (go in high, which will allow you to take a drop in return) and give them your bank details in the initial contact email/text.  Leave it to them to continue gigging and let the old guys pay you back.

^^^^ The above is my view on it too. 

[Lozz196]

I think I’d have the discussion with them along the lines of, you’ve got x number of gigs lined up, after paying the new guy his share this leaves y left over after each gig so I expect you to pay me what you owe after z gigs. I’d probably deduct expenses for each of them from the y figure unless they got like donkeys.

[ossyrocks]

I've just left a band too, so I sort of know how this feels.

 

The 13th is only a week away. I personally would not expect the rest of the band to buy me out of the gear before that, it's a very short time scale. I'd be more likely to agree a couple of months.

 

In my "band leaving situation", the PA is entirely owned by me, and there's a gig on 27th July. I'm going to let them use it, it's already at the drummers house, I'll go and collect it sometime afterwards, unless they want to buy it off me. I'm also having one-to-one sessions with my replacement (who they have found), to bring him up to speed, and to help out the rest of the band. 

 

I don't like burning bridges, it's much easier if we all get along and accommodate each other.

 

Rob

[Burns-bass]

If this is about the money and you’re desperate for it, then stand your ground. 
 

If it’s about losing face then be the bigger person and walk away and figure it out when tensions are lessened.

 

I fell out with friends over a band when I was younger and I acted impulsively.

 

When emotions are high and we feel we’ve been poorly treated we can lash out which can perpetuate the issue. Let them do the gig, get your cash in the future and move onto something more fun. 

 

[TimR]

Valuing the present gear is the key. You're not going to get back 'your share of the cost'.

 

So you first need to get a decent valuation and then you'll have to negotiate. 

[fretmeister]

Unless there's an agreement that a buyout will be based on new prices, that buyout will be based on used valuations.

 

This is why whenever I've been in a joint-purchase situation I've insisted on us all buying a specific item of the kit. So 1 person bought the desk, 1 person bought the speakers etc etc so that one person could leave with the thing they 100% owned. Everyone stored their own bit. No arguments.

[Jackroadkill]

I'd go with the consensus here.  If it were me I'd agree a price for your slice of the gear with the rest of the band and then give them a reasonable time to pay it.  Other than that, I'd just try and let it all go as smoothly as possible.

 

Years ago I quit a band, offered to play the two gigs we had booked and was told that if I was out, I was out.  This was fair enough, so I took my gear (which included instruments and amps used by other members of the band) and left without any hard feelings.

[Heathy]

I was once in a similar position to this when I left a band. In hindsight I behaved like a bit of a diva!

 

As you left the band, and this appears to be more a point of principle rather than needing the cash, I would advise sitting back, trusting the others to do the right thing, and being the better person. If I could go back, that’s what I would do.

[Bassfinger]

And they've acquiesced and agreed to buy me out, rounded down to the nearest hundred quid. I don't know why it was so difficult to get that far, but I guess egos were bruised all round.

 

It's a happy ending.  They get to carry on, I'm out their way, a new guy gets a crack at it and a worthy charity gets a decent pay day, so everyone comes out with something.

 

I'm going to try something different. I'll do a bit dep work but that aside I've decided to concentrate on improving my own playing skills for a bit and do some teaching.

[neepheid]

<pointless post>

Edited July 6 by neepheid

[Dad3353]

8 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

...It's a happy ending...

 

[Bassfinger]

An interesting foot note.  I know who my replacement is, but dont really know him.  He uses the same rehearsal studios that I sometimes do so I know his face and I've seen his name on the chalkboard on the rehearsal room doors.  The reverse is probably true of him in that he knows my wizened fizzog and name.

 

The rehearsal studio is coincidentally owned by a guy I worked with in the petrochemical business going back about 15 years, so its a smallish local music community int he sense that we pass like ships in the night and pretty much know who each other are, if nothing else. The proprietor is thus at the centre of it all, gossip central, and hears everything from all. 

 

Anyway, I've heard that he was a bit annoyed at being invited to dep with a view to joining only for them not to tell him there was a bit of a dispute with me sill lingering like a stale fart.  He refused to work with them until they'd sorted it, which probably explains their welcome but somewhat unexpected change of heart after giving me a polite but emphatic "no" only a few hours ago.  

 

If I'm honest, @Heathy is bang on.  I was a bit of a diva in my leaving, although I genuinely wasn't rude.  I apologised directly to the band 'leader', so while I was a stupid tit I was a magnanimous one. I do appreciate that I've put their noses out of joint, but I made it plain it was an artistic decision and that I have no personal beef with them. I know who is the main architect of the response I received and I simply won't work with him again, although id happily buy him a beer if I ever bumped into him.

 

 

Edited July 6 by Bassfinger
The usual woeful spangles

[ossyrocks]

3 hours ago, Bassfinger said:

but I made it plain it was an artistic decision and that I have no personal beef with them.....

 

 

 

Mine was also an artistic decision. Despite all of them being nice people, and some of them I now call friends, I just could not work with the drummer any longer on a musical level. ie, he's not musical ! I'm also a better guitarist than the guitarist!

 

But, I could not bring myself to criticise their musical ability, it just felt cruel. So I'm "concentrating on my main blues band project".

[bassbiscuits]

I’ve played with people I wouldn’t consider friends and I’ve also got musical friends I wouldn’t consider playing with.
 

Whatever your reason for leaving, as long as you do it professionally and give people time to arrange alternative plans then it’s fair enough I think. 

[martin8708]

Gear that is collectively owned by the “band “ is always a headache when someone leaves or the band splits .

I think your quite fortunate in getting your share of the gear paid back to you , my experience has been very much the opposite .

I now leave all PA purchases to the vocalist , If I buy any peripheral purchases , they come home with me .