Quitting a band

[12stringbassist]

On 06/07/2024 at 12:49, Bassfinger said:

And they've acquiesced and agreed to buy me out, rounded down to the nearest hundred quid. I don't know why it was so difficult to get that far, but I guess egos were bruised all round.

 

It's a happy ending.  They get to carry on, I'm out their way, a new guy gets a crack at it and a worthy charity gets a decent pay day, so everyone comes out with something.

 

I'm going to try something different. I'll do a bit dep work but that aside I've decided to concentrate on improving my own playing skills for a bit and do some teaching.

Good to read that you've managed to sort it.

[Bassfinger]

I'm sad how it ended but I do want them to carry on and have fun, although for various reasons I think the project is about to fizzle out anyway.

[Bassfinger]

10 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

Thankfully it seems it’s not coming to that. But take it from where? The studio? The lockup? The stage? 

As it happened I had a sub in my garage, probably close in value to my share.  Nevertheless, I didn't want to go down the road of holding equipment hostage. I was hoping for an outbreak of common sense.

 

The problem is we all have egos and there's no doubt I put people's noses out of joint when I went (I was genuinely polite and not seeking an argument confrontation, but I did tell them why I was going and they probably didn't like to hear it!) but we go there in the end.

[TimR]

1 hour ago, Bassfinger said:

As it happened I had a sub in my garage, probably close in value to my share.  Nevertheless, I didn't want to go down the road of holding equipment hostage. I was hoping for an outbreak of common sense

 

The problem with 'items' of equipment, is they're just that. They don't really have an intrinsic worth without the rest of the equipment. You would be doing just that (holding it to ransom). And if the band is still going, you end up with the same problem of discussing what it is worth. If the band dig their heels in and buy a new sub somewhere else out of principle, you're left with an item of equipment to try and sell. 

 

I also have a PA. I've tried selling it recently but no one is interested at the price I think it's worth. Problem is you can now get a pair of active speakers for under £500 new. So a pair of passive speakers and a power amp are going to be worth less than £200 if you can find anyone interested 

[Stub Mandrel]

 

 

When I left a band 18 months ago, I had a share in the speakers, not huge but a couple of hundred as there were six of us and the bl put in extra. I didn't fret as I wrote it off when I chipped in, not when I left.

Edited July 8 by Stub Mandrel

[TimR]

18 minutes ago, Stub Mandrel said:

 

 

When I left a band 18 months ago, I had a share in the speakers, not huge but a couple of hundred as there were six of us and the bl put in extra. I didn't fret as I wrote it off when I chipped in, not when I left.

 

Yes. Sunk cost. Although it depends how many gigs you've done when you leave as to whether you think you've had your money's worth. 

[Stub Mandrel]

9 minutes ago, TimR said:

 

Yes. Sunk cost. Although it depends how many gigs you've done when you leave as to whether you think you've had your money's worth. 

 

Three gigs. One paid (I organised it). In well over a year.

 

That's why I left!

 

[TimR]

That's some expensive speakers. 🤣

 

Not doing gigs is a bugbear of mine. Especially when the band is insisting on practices. 

[ossyrocks]

3 hours ago, Stub Mandrel said:

 

Three gigs. One paid (I organised it). In well over a year.

 

That's why I left!

 

 

Wow, that's tedious!

 

Another of the reasons I have just left one of my bands is their propensity to rehearse a lot and gig very little. Since me joining in November 2022, there have been only 9 gigs, but 47 rehearsals!!!!

[Lozz196]

At present my band does so little there’s hardly any point in being in it, but looking at it more positively where would be the point of leaving. I don’t want to be in any other bands, this is the one I feel comfortable in. 

[jimmyb625]

On 07/07/2024 at 17:11, Phil Starr said:

I own the PA. I'm not sure anyone would want to play with me if I didn't

 

Ditto! My band respect the fact that it's my PA, so they don't touch it, or any of the cables, or microphones, or microphone stands, or mains cables etc....

 

It's really good, as they do all of this without me ever needing to ask them.

[Skybone]

Recently quit the band I co-founded with the guitarist 10 years ago, fortunately, there's no kit to divvy up or anything, so that's a plus.

 

The guitarist wants me back, the drummer does too, but he's also wanting to keep the singer, who I have an issue with.

 

The singer is half our age, mid-twenties, and is keen. He also does a solo show around the local pubs & clubs. 

 

I was taking my son to his band rehearsal, and saw the singer come out when the previous band finished. He told me (awkwardly) that he was "just jamming" with them.

 

A few months later, we'd agreed to do a charity benefit gig with 3 other bands. However, the singer turns up with all of his keyboards. The guitarist was really put out by this, and a big discussion ensued. "No one is bigger than the band", however the night turns into the singer's showpiece, appearing in 2 bands, then guesting with the headline band for a few songs.

 

The next gig, supporting the band from the previous gig, over 100 miles away (and no cash to cover fuel), he's all pally with them, they basically ignore us, I wasn't in the best of moods anyway as the transport arrangements changed drastically the day before the gig. Played first, then effed off home. 

 

The singer comes across as a nice lad initially, but as you get to know him, he comes across as self obsessed. He certainly never told the rest of us about the other bands, and especially didn't tell us about the various gigs he's playing with them, including slots at a couple of festivals that he knows that we've been trying to get on for a few years.

 

Anyway, considering my options...

[Bassfinger]

17 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

At present my band does so little there’s hardly any point in being in it...

It was getting that way for us, and that was a part of the reason for me leaving. A huge investment in time and money, only for no bugger to be available to rehearse, much less actually get out there and perform.

 

Word travels fast. I've been tapped up for a job in a tribute band a chap I know (another one I know via the rehearsal studio).  I've not said no. I'd just got my mind used to the idea of spending some time working on my own playing and then maybe hunting around for a band in the spring, so it was a bit of a surprise.  Told him maybe, but I want to know who else is coming on board before I commit.

[Burns-bass]

11 hours ago, Skybone said:

Recently quit the band I co-founded with the guitarist 10 years ago, fortunately, there's no kit to divvy up or anything, so that's a plus.

 

The guitarist wants me back, the drummer does too, but he's also wanting to keep the singer, who I have an issue with.

 

The singer is half our age, mid-twenties, and is keen. He also does a solo show around the local pubs & clubs. 

 

I was taking my son to his band rehearsal, and saw the singer come out when the previous band finished. He told me (awkwardly) that he was "just jamming" with them.

 

A few months later, we'd agreed to do a charity benefit gig with 3 other bands. However, the singer turns up with all of his keyboards. The guitarist was really put out by this, and a big discussion ensued. "No one is bigger than the band", however the night turns into the singer's showpiece, appearing in 2 bands, then guesting with the headline band for a few songs.

 

The next gig, supporting the band from the previous gig, over 100 miles away (and no cash to cover fuel), he's all pally with them, they basically ignore us, I wasn't in the best of moods anyway as the transport arrangements changed drastically the day before the gig. Played first, then effed off home. 

 

The singer comes across as a nice lad initially, but as you get to know him, he comes across as self obsessed. He certainly never told the rest of us about the other bands, and especially didn't tell us about the various gigs he's playing with them, including slots at a couple of festivals that he knows that we've been trying to get on for a few years.

 

Anyway, considering my options...

 

Sounds like singers the world over, to be fair. 

[Bassfinger]

It was the singist in my case too! 😝

Edited July 9 by Bassfinger

[Stub Mandrel]

16 hours ago, jimmyb625 said:

Ditto! My band respect the fact that it's my PA, so they don't touch it, or any of the cables, or microphones, or microphone stands, or mains cables etc....

 

It's really good, as they do all of this without me ever needing to ask them.

 

Especially when it's time to pack down...?

[Stub Mandrel]

All of us in Bendricks Rock are in other bands. Combination of not doing enough gigs and wanting to do the banging classic rock we love.

[BigRedX]

I'm currently in two bands. In the last 3 years there have been two occasions where both bands had gigs on the same day and both times they were at the same event, so there has been no problem with scheduling. However if I had to make a choice to be in one band only I know which one I'd choose.

 

In the Terrortones we once had a guitarist who thought he could be in multiple bands. We solved that problem by making sure that we had gigs booked every Friday or Saturday for the next three months which made it impossible for him to be available for others. He soon found himself playing just with us. That might seem harsh, but IME musicians think they can be in multiple bands because none of the bands are suitably busy. Making one band take up all their time with gigging and rehearsing normally keeps them happy.

[tauzero]

19 hours ago, jimmyb625 said:

Ditto! My band respect the fact that it's my PA, so they don't touch it, or any of the cables, or microphones, or microphone stands, or mains cables etc....

 

It's really good, as they do all of this without me ever needing to ask them.

 

My lot let me do the XLR cables as I'm the only one I trust to do them right. However, they are not averse to a bit of manual labour - speakers on and off stands, stands out of and into bags, speaker covers off and on, and then carrying the stuff too.

[PaulWarning]

41 minutes ago, tauzero said:

 

My lot let me do the XLR cables as I'm the only one I trust to do them right. However, they are not averse to a bit of manual labour - speakers on and off stands, stands out of and into bags, speaker covers off and on, and then carrying the stuff too.

Our guitarist or drummer have to lift the speakers of the stands, I can't do it anymore, them 15" Wharfdale Titan's aren't half heavy 😄

[tauzero]

3 hours ago, PaulWarning said:

Our guitarist or drummer have to lift the speakers of the stands, I can't do it anymore, them 15" Wharfdale Titan's aren't half heavy 😄

 

I still have to get them into and out of the car, so I stick to 8" Altos.

[Richard R]

I own my bass, IEMs and a few DI boxes which I bought but everyone uses so I don't care. Technically I co-own the PA with about 250 other people - that's what happens when you only play in church.

[police squad]

On 08/07/2024 at 21:01, Skybone said:

Recently quit the band I co-founded with the guitarist 10 years ago, fortunately, there's no kit to divvy up or anything, so that's a plus.

 

The guitarist wants me back, the drummer does too, but he's also wanting to keep the singer, who I have an issue with.

 

The singer is half our age, mid-twenties, and is keen. He also does a solo show around the local pubs & clubs. 

 

I was taking my son to his band rehearsal, and saw the singer come out when the previous band finished. He told me (awkwardly) that he was "just jamming" with them.

 

A few months later, we'd agreed to do a charity benefit gig with 3 other bands. However, the singer turns up with all of his keyboards. The guitarist was really put out by this, and a big discussion ensued. "No one is bigger than the band", however the night turns into the singer's showpiece, appearing in 2 bands, then guesting with the headline band for a few songs.

 

The next gig, supporting the band from the previous gig, over 100 miles away (and no cash to cover fuel), he's all pally with them, they basically ignore us, I wasn't in the best of moods anyway as the transport arrangements changed drastically the day before the gig. Played first, then effed off home. 

 

The singer comes across as a nice lad initially, but as you get to know him, he comes across as self obsessed. He certainly never told the rest of us about the other bands, and especially didn't tell us about the various gigs he's playing with them, including slots at a couple of festivals that he knows that we've been trying to get on for a few years.

 

Anyway, considering my options...

I would leave or sack the singer

[TimR]

On 08/07/2024 at 21:01, Skybone said:

He certainly never told the rest of us about the other bands, and especially didn't tell us about the various gigs he's playing with them, including slots at a couple of festivals that he knows that we've been trying to get on for a few years.

 

This is the bit I don't understand. 

 

There's a lack of communication that then breeds suspicion and mistrust. If you're upfront and tell everyone what's going on, then there's no problem. 

 

Some people do get a bit precious about other members being in other bands but that's their problem. As long as that member is available for all the gigs everyone else is available then there's not a problem.

 

I've found that usually someone else isn't available for gigs when I have a potential clash, so that usually sorts itself out. Other than that, it's first come, first served. Certainly other members of the bands I'm in seem to put everything else first. Hence why I've found other bands to play in.

 

 

[PaulWarning]

On 08/07/2024 at 21:01, Skybone said:

 

 

The singer comes across as a nice lad initially, but as you get to know him, he comes across as self obsessed. 

 

 

tbf if a singer's not self obsessed or an attention seeker (same thing?) they're usually not a very good front person