Jump to content
Why become a member? ×

An appreciation of supportive wives, husbands & partners


Recommended Posts

Three months ago, I set about "re-doing" our lounge. We've lived here for four and a half years, and it's the last room to tackle. 

 

Ok, I haven't rushed it, but I've been steadily working on it when I can. Rewiring, re-plastering, new floor etc, quite a big job.

 

When I started drawing up the plans for the room, and details of shelving etc, I went into detail what my wife wanted, where things would go etc, and she suggested that I should include guitar wall hangers. Now, it may not seem like a big deal, but when your wife wants you to hang guitars in the lounge, then I think you have to admit that you have chosen wisely in the relationship game.

Today I finally finished the shelving and the guitar hangers, and it really has started to come together. Just a TV and sound system to go now.

 

She is admittedly my biggest musical fan, and she does often want to come to my gigs.

 

Sitting here, with it all approaching the finish line, I still have to pinch myself when I think about the absolute gem of a woman who has chosen to share her life with me.

 

Just sayin.

 

Rob

IMG_3987.JPEG

Edited by ossyrocks
  • Like 39
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lovely thread. My wife is happy with a house full of gear as long as it doesn’t encroach on the family areas. We’re talking two double basses, amps, guitars, basses, acoustics and more.

 

This weekend she happily let me go and play three gigs over 3 days without any issues (we have two small kids so it can be draining on your own). 
 

Lovely to have someone so supportive of what I do. That’s a lovely room, too.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am also in a fortunate position.  It boggles my mind when some people report that they have to sneak basses into the house, or hide them under beds, or pretend that they've owned them for a while.  I hear stories of pressure applied by partners to give up gigging.  All this stuff makes me sad, but glad that I do not experience any of this myself.

 

When I bought my most recent bass, I told my wife about it and her response was "good price" :D

 

Edited by neepheid
  • Like 8
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm very lucky in that my partner is also a musician - guitar for fun and baritone in a brass band for the serious stuff - so there's no problem with having gear around, buying toys or with evenings being taken up with rehearsals, gigs or band admin.

 

It's a mahoosive difference from when I was married - back then, I couldn't call my life my own. Model railways were my thing at the time and I hated having to sneak in a wagon that cost all of 20 quid. But that made me more determined not to be completely ground down... not a great basis for a healthy relationship.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mrs Zero is quite tolerant. I do generally forewarn her of purchases (I forgot to mention that I was buying a motorcycle though). The view from my end of the settee in our lounge:

 

lounge1.thumb.jpg.2d3f67fcf12a6128b84edadd56924638.jpg

lounge2.thumb.jpg.824acab607a062249641bbfdcffca622.jpg

lounge3.thumb.jpg.587ccfa5d1aca8b1caef86dff8168103.jpg

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, Woodinblack said:

Mine is happy with hangers but there are limits what can go on there, some instruments are too ugly to go there!

Yes rickenbackers are so ugly. You can reduce their on-wall footprint by unharnessing the plough horse first 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

She did ask my opinion about a red jazz bass on Facebook recently £600 mim red/white/rw. I’m pleased that she understands what a bass is and that it isn’t the same as a weedy six string 🤢

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

it's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one

We are a team, best freinds etc. She also plays bass and we've done two bands together.

Our house is full of gear too.

The support she gave me when I slipped a disc was heroic

She was also right by my side when I was learning the Bucks Fizz stuff for my audition. Helping me with dance moves etc

 

Lockdown was fabulous

 

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, neepheid said:

It boggles my mind when some people report that they have to sneak basses into the house, or hide them under beds, or pretend that they've owned them for a while.  I hear stories of pressure applied by partners to give up gigging.

 

This!  The whole "She Who Must Be Obeyed" thing in some of these musican's boards over the past 20+ years is so common that it's become a trope. No idea how serious the people writing it are. I don't see it on the socials - perhaps that's because they have a younger demographic. 

 

I think I would be out of any relationship where something like this was happening pretty quickly 💥

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Likewise Mrs Bassbiscuits is very cool about my various basses, acoustic guitars, amps etc. 

 

I also cringe when I read those “have to hide it from my wife” type For Sale threads. 
 

She doesn’t regularly come to my gigs unless they are really cool ones like Alexandra Palace or some special occasion.

 

But she’s 100% supportive of my gigging, and I just make sure that I’m useful when I am around the house to pay back her kindness. 
 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Len_derby said:

My wife’s main hobby makes mine look very small beer.

 

 

E7C32AF9-82DE-489D-8EB5-47CDC24CABAC.jpeg


I had both the sea kayaks (including a fabulous Explorer like your wife's) and the musical instruments, and that's possibly where I went wrong ...

However, a previous girlfriend played the flute. 
Not only was she incredibly supportive (this must go both ways, and it did), but she'd also throw herself over my synths and start creating new sounds. She also picked up the bass as well as the double bass and made those important parts of her life.
Luvverly.


BTW, Len, is your wife on a Greenland expedition or somesuch in that pic?
She somehow looks familiar to me, and I wonder whether I've met her at Nigel Dennis'.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a single guy, I'm hardly qualified to comment in some respects, but my observations of others over the years is that the successful relationships seem to be the ones where people carry on with the hobbies and interests, perhaps shared to some extent.  

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, zbd1960 said:

As a single guy, I'm hardly qualified to comment in some respects, but my observations of others over the years is that the successful relationships seem to be the ones where people carry on with the hobbies and interests, perhaps shared to some extent.  

Pretty much the same for me

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, Agent 00Soul said:

 

This!  The whole "She Who Must Be Obeyed" thing in some of these musican's boards over the past 20+ years is so common that it's become a trope. No idea how serious the people writing it are. I don't see it on the socials - perhaps that's because they have a younger demographic. 

 

I think I would be out of any relationship where something like this was happening pretty quickly 💥

In one band I was in the drummer got together with a girl and after our traditional Xmas break he announced that she had told him he didn`t need to be in the band any more as he now had her. The band folded not long after...........

  • Confused 2
  • Sad 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My Wife is a fellow musician (singer, clarinet, piano, guitar) and her day job is as a Senior Music Therapist so music and instruments are around us all the time. My Son is also an accomplished young drummer.

If she didn't like it, told me what I was 'allowed' to buy or told me to leave a band we wouldn't be together in the first place... Music isn't just what we do for fun, it is who we are...

  • Like 9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, BassTractor said:


I had both the sea kayaks (including a fabulous Explorer like your wife's) and the musical instruments, and that's possibly where I went wrong ...

However, a previous girlfriend played the flute. 
Not only was she incredibly supportive (this must go both ways, and it did), but she'd also throw herself over my synths and start creating new sounds. She also picked up the bass as well as the double bass and made those important parts of her life.
Luvverly.


BTW, Len, is your wife on a Greenland expedition or somesuch in that pic?
She somehow looks familiar to me, and I wonder whether I've met her at Nigel Dennis'.


 

Yes, south east Greenland. Well spotted. The boat isn’t Sally’s, she borrowed it as a feature of the expedition, lead by a Brit called Martin Rickard. That enabled her to fly over to Kulusuk in Greenland, via Iceland. She doesn’t know Nigel Dennis personally but has been involved with events he has organised, mainly in Anglesey, Wales. In terms of gear, she has two and half kayaks. The half being a fifty percent share of a two-seater. Add in all the clothing, accessories etc. and one more bass guitar is practically invisible 😆.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

34 minutes ago, Len_derby said:


 

Yes, south east Greenland. Well spotted. The boat isn’t Sally’s, she borrowed it as a feature of the expedition, lead by a Brit called Martin Rickard. That enabled her to fly over to Kulusuk in Greenland, via Iceland. She doesn’t know Nigel Dennis personally but has been involved with events he has organised, mainly in Anglesey, Wales. In terms of gear, she has two and half kayaks. The half being a fifty percent share of a two-seater. Add in all the clothing, accessories etc. and one more bass guitar is practically invisible 😆.


Yeah, and with "Nigel Dennis' ", I did mean one of the symposiums or other gatherings in Holyhead. If she was there between 2004 and 2014, I may have met her. Haven't met Martin Rickard AFAIK. Have heard of him, I believe.
Anyway, that's strictly off topic.
Still, a glorious boat. I mainly paddled NDK and Rockpool. 😁

Back to the girlfriends, I now realise I've been with more musicians than I thought. Bar one singer, they've all owned way more expensive musical instruments themselves, like flutes, oboe, double bass ... a harp even.
These people know where it's at.

 

Edited by BassTractor
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorted for instruments now (well sort of, I'm still waiting on the Dubreq Theremin) but my wife was always totally fine with whatever I bought. Music was (and still is) my sole earner, so buying new gear was never an issue.

 

She played piano, cello and acoustic guitar and dulcimer, and she loved having a play on my Fender Rhodes or the Philicorda. She still has a little guitarlele now but sadly is too weak most of the time to play it. But she's always asking me to play. I was lucky finding her 👍

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...