Sacked from your own band by stealth!

[Boodang]

This hasn't happened to me this way since I was a teenager... and that was a long while ago! I formed this covers band with a guitarist two years ago. Recently we've been on a bit of a hiatus since fellow band members left (we're all here on temporary postings) leaving us down to a trio. 

Turns out my fellow guitarist during the lull formed a new band consisting of the trio minus me with new musicians, playing the exact set list from our last gig. Apparently I've not been replaced because the band has a different name, so that's alright then! 

Haven't been fired in such a cowardly for decades. I got invited to their first gig! 

[asingardenof]

I wonder if the two new people are aware of the circumstances of the band's formation. Might be fun to tell them to watch their backs.

[oldslapper]

I’d want to know (if I joined a band) how the last incumbent “left”. Says a lot about people how they deal with others. Although of course you’re likely to only hear one side unless you can be bothered to find the ex member. 

[Boodang]

5 minutes ago, asingardenof said:

I wonder if the two new people are aware of the circumstances of the band's formation. Might be fun to tell them to watch their backs.

I don't think they are aware as they're new in town. However in a twist of fate I'm doing the sound for a small open air festival next month and I've been told they are first on. So I'll get the opportunity. Plus I'll make sure I give their sound special attention! 

[Boodang]

2 minutes ago, oldslapper said:

I’d want to know (if I joined a band) how the last incumbent “left”. Says a lot about people how they deal with others. Although of course you’re likely to only hear one side unless you can be bothered to find the ex member. 

I think they were told it's a new adventure, which is obviously not entirely true. The worse bit for me isn't so much the end of a band but the end of a two year friendship. 

[miles'tone]

28 minutes ago, Boodang said:

Plus I'll make sure I give their sound special attention! 

Don't be that sound guy. You're better than that. 

[Boodang]

1 minute ago, miles'tone said:

Don't be that sound guy. You're better than that. 

Don't worry, in my head I might think it but I wouldn't do that to fellow musicians and the audience no matter the circumstances. 

[Beedster]

Have you discussed this with them? There might be a less apparently cynical explanation?

[Boodang]

4 minutes ago, Beedster said:

Have you discussed this with them? There might be a less apparently cynical explanation?

We have had a discussion. We were doing some acoustic stuff in the meantime just to keep playing and he saw this as the band's new direction. However none of this was discussed and all this was done without any consultation with me. I think for me that's the issue as it was sprung as a complete surprise and presented as a fait accompli. 

[Hurricane Jimmie]

So Anyway, the fact that they invited you to the gig could mean a couple of things.

• Your guitar bandmate is clueless.
• Your guitar bandmate honestly thinks there was no issue in forming a new band without you.  

Not sure if I'd show up to their gig.  

 

A couple of years ago I agreed to start working with an older established bandleader.  After our second gig, he posted a FB note that my third gig with him would be his last band job as he would be retiring due to health.  I thought about it and then sent him a message letting him know that since it was his last gig, if he wanted to use his old bandmates, I'd certainly understand.  

Turns out the old fox was way ahead of me.  He'd already contacted his old bass player to play the gig.  He then tried to sell me some tickets for the event.  😅

[Boodang]

4 minutes ago, Hurricane Jimmie said:

So Anyway, the fact that they invited you to the gig could mean a couple of things.

• Your guitar bandmate is clueless.
• Your guitar bandmate honestly thinks there was no issue in forming a new band without you.  

Not sure if I'd show up to their gig.  

 

A couple of years ago I agreed to start working with an older established bandleader.  After our second gig, he posted a FB note that my third gig with him would be his last band job as he would be retiring due to health.  I thought about it and then sent him a message letting him know that since it was his last gig, if he wanted to use his old bandmates, I'd certainly understand.  

Turns out the old fox was way ahead of me.  He'd already contacted his old bass player to play the gig.  He then tried to sell me some tickets for the event.  😅

Yeah, he genuinely is surprised by my reaction. Also, I'm surprised that he's not surprised! It's a shame because I've genuinely lost some night's sleep over the loss of a friendship and the extended family that comes with it because let's face it, with a band there's always the wives/husbands etc that form the wider circle . Oh, and definitely not going to the gig but at least I would have got in for free!

[Dad3353]

On the other hand, Life is too short for any pettiness. Let it go, you're bigger than that, and no kittens have been harmed. 

[Beedster]

32 minutes ago, Boodang said:

We have had a discussion. We were doing some acoustic stuff in the meantime just to keep playing and he saw this as the band's new direction. However none of this was discussed and all this was done without any consultation with me. I think for me that's the issue as it was sprung as a complete surprise and presented as a fait accompli. 

Have you discussed where your band stands? You suggested a hiatus, might be they’re just keeping busy assuming you’re not wanting to be involved? It’s really easy to feel excluded when bandmates start new projects, but feeling excluded is not the same thing as being excluded 

[Boodang]

43 minutes ago, Beedster said:

Have you discussed where your band stands? You suggested a hiatus, might be they’re just keeping busy assuming you’re not wanting to be involved? It’s really easy to feel excluded when bandmates start new projects, but feeling excluded is not the same thing as being excluded 

We were actively looking for new band mates to get it going again. He found them... plus one extra! And in terms of the music it's the old band minus me. I guess it's the lack of communication I really don't understand. However, I'll move on musically, that's not the issue, it's more the friendship. What I can't get past is when he found a keyboard player and bassist, what he didn't say was, we need keys but we already have bass.

[Boodang]

1 hour ago, Beedster said:

Have you discussed where your band stands? You suggested a hiatus, might be they’re just keeping busy assuming you’re not wanting to be involved? It’s really easy to feel excluded when bandmates start new projects, but feeling excluded is not the same thing as being excluded 

..oh, as for where the old band stands, they're definitely a duo now! I have other musical projects to fry with musicians who are less 'complicated' to deal with. 

[Boodang]

I think what's quite interesting when something like this happens is how special bonds are between musicians. When you play, especially live, you're having a musical conversation that's unique and then there's that extended band family. So when it goes wrong it's particularly painful to deal with. 

[Beedster]

31 minutes ago, Boodang said:

I think what's quite interesting when something like this happens is how special bonds are between musicians. When you play, especially live, you're having a musical conversation that's unique and then there's that extended band family. So when it goes wrong it's particularly painful to deal with. 

 

….painful but not impossible 👍

[Beedster]

24 minutes ago, Beedster said:

 

….painful but not impossible 👍

….. by which I mean ….

 

First, have you said in clear terms what you’ve said here, that to all intents you’ve been fired and given no reason,

 

and 

 

Second, that as you are friends you are understandably quite upset about this 

 

I’ve been here before myself and with friends, the inability of musicians who on stage or in the studio are able to communicate effectively and authentically to do the same when it comes to pragmatics and politics has been a constant theme

[cetera]

That happened with my theatre show a few years ago. I started the band with the drummer.... and we spent a year getting the right line-up in place. 2nd guitarist comes in, says he has lots of spare time so can book the gigs. Very kind.... and the 7 of us go out and play some amazing shows around the country with great reviews mentioning our authenticity, attention to detail, big bv's, multi-layered parts etc.

 

Without our knowledge 2nd guitarist decides he wants ALL the money so starts a 2nd band doing the EXACT same set list but with just 4 people and a box of lies on click (containing keys, bv's, additional gtr etc). Tells all venues we have split up but he has a new band doing the same thing which can take over all dates without interruption

 

We lose ALL our hard won shows to his new band and we have to try to start all over again.... then Covid hits.

 

Post-Covid he takes over where he left off. Venues weren't interested in our side of the story, they just want a band playing those songs.

 

Not many people I really wouldn't p*ss on if they were on fire, but he's one...

 

 

Edited October 23 by cetera

[gjones]

Something similar happened to me about a year ago. The guitarist, singer and drummer, from the old band were asked to form another band by a bassist they all new. The band is identical to the old band, other than the bassist and an added sax player. The original idea, I was told, is that they were going to be a rockabilly band but as far as I can see they play exactly the same set list as the old band.

 

The weird thing is, the old band is still gigging with me playing bass and both bands play the same venues, sometimes on the same weekend. So you've got two bands, with virtually the same members, playing exactly the same set, at the same venues. I do wonder why the managers, at the venues that both bands play, haven't figured out that it's the same band, just without me.

[TimR]

2 hours ago, gjones said:

So you've got two bands, with virtually the same members, playing exactly the same set, at the same venues. I do wonder why the managers, at the venues that both bands play, haven't figured out that it's the same band, just without me.

 

If the punters are different each night it doesn't matter.

 

We used to play a club Friday and Saturday night. Same musicians, same set, same band name. We had enough material to play two nights of different songs and could have called ourselves something different, no one would have noticed. 

[TimR]

@Boodang I don't understand some people, other that they're so wrapped up in their own little world that anything that doesn't fit with their ambitions just gets set aside.

 

Thing is scenes are quite small, people get a reputation and they'll find it harder to get members to join projects once word gets around. 

[Beedster]

We’ve played the same set twice the same evening in the same pub, lot of people leave and arrive, those that don’t often too pissed to notice 🙂

[Beedster]

Just now, TimR said:

@Boodang I don't understand some people, other that they're so wrapped up in their own little world that anything that doesn't fit with their ambitions just gets set aside.

 

Thing is scenes are quite small, people get a reputation and they'll find it harder to get members to join projects once word gets around. 

Agreed, but sometimes it’s just poor communication and/or misunderstanding 👍

[Pseudonym]

20 hours ago, asingardenof said:

I wonder if the two new people are aware of the circumstances of the band's formation. Might be fun to tell them to watch their backs.

 

It might be even more fun to poach them.