I can't find a Band, What am I doing Wrong?

[Quilly]

What I found that there are loads of guitarists out there in your situation, and probably singers, drummers on the other hand are like hens teeth, the good ones are always in about 3/4 bands already. One way to get back playing is to team up with a decent guitarist and singer and go acoustic.  If you're decent you'd be surprised how many gigs you could pick up. Be warned you might need to sing a bit. 

[thebrig]

7 minutes ago, Quilly said:

What I found that there are loads of guitarists out there in your situation, and probably singers, drummers on the other hand are like hens teeth, the good ones are always in about 3/4 bands already. One way to get back playing is to team up with a decent guitarist and singer and go acoustic.  If you're decent you'd be surprised how many gigs you could pick up. Be warned you might need to sing a bit. 

That's my problem, I can't sing at all. 

[Phil Starr]

20 hours ago, thebrig said:

if you think that I'm doing something wrong, please say so because I'm 73 next week and I've decided to call it a day if I still haven't found a band by the New Year.

I started playing bass at 55. You are just 5 months older than I am. Never give up

 

It's horrible being between bands. Given the dates a lot of this is down to Covid. You missed out because of lost years and even now the band scene hasn't completely recovered. I'm getting more bookings for my duo and fewer for my band just because money is still tight.

 

This might also be a Bridgnorth thing, it's easier to have a thriving music community in bigger towns. The internet sites are flaky at best. It's so easy to post an ad and costs nothing that all the fantasists and self deluded are there as well as genuine players. The problem is that most musicians remotely our age still playing will be in gigging bands. If you are capable of learning a set of 30 songs in a few weeks those are the bands to go for and any band with gigs lined up is having to take it all seriously so look for that in ads. I avoid anything where someone is looking for more than one band member, it's better to join a functioning unit where the bassist has left than a complete start up band.

 

From what I see you'd be a good addition to most covers bands. I'd be flexible about genre though few of us really get to play the music we love most. In a four piece band you'd be lucky to get 20% of the songs you would want. No point in asking if the singer can't sing it and no point gigging with a set the audience don't know or like. In fallow periods it's worth trying a change in genre. A lot of the fun in playing is down to the people and learning new things and you'll enjoy playing outside your comfort zone with good people more than playing music you like with people you wouldn't otherwise mix with. Being flexible opns up a lot of possibilities.

 

Most of it though is about networking, open mics are good places to start meeting people especially if they do the odd jam but also go and see other local bands perform and try chatting with them in the break. Most local musicians know or get to know all the others over time so they may know someone looking for a bassist or remember the guy they spoke to at the gig who is looking...

 

 

[thebrig]

8 minutes ago, Phil Starr said:

I started playing bass at 55. You are just 5 months older than I am. Never give up

 

It's horrible being between bands. Given the dates a lot of this is down to Covid. You missed out because of lost years and even now the band scene hasn't completely recovered. I'm getting more bookings for my duo and fewer for my band just because money is still tight.

 

This might also be a Bridgnorth thing, it's easier to have a thriving music community in bigger towns. The internet sites are flaky at best. It's so easy to post an ad and costs nothing that all the fantasists and self deluded are there as well as genuine players. The problem is that most musicians remotely our age still playing will be in gigging bands. If you are capable of learning a set of 30 songs in a few weeks those are the bands to go for and any band with gigs lined up is having to take it all seriously so look for that in ads. I avoid anything where someone is looking for more than one band member, it's better to join a functioning unit where the bassist has left than a complete start up band.

 

From what I see you'd be a good addition to most covers bands. I'd be flexible about genre though few of us really get to play the music we love most. In a four piece band you'd be lucky to get 20% of the songs you would want. No point in asking if the singer can't sing it and no point gigging with a set the audience don't know or like. In fallow periods it's worth trying a change in genre. A lot of the fun in playing is down to the people and learning new things and you'll enjoy playing outside your comfort zone with good people more than playing music you like with people you wouldn't otherwise mix with. Being flexible opns up a lot of possibilities.

 

Most of it though is about networking, open mics are good places to start meeting people especially if they do the odd jam but also go and see other local bands perform and try chatting with them in the break. Most local musicians know or get to know all the others over time so they may know someone looking for a bassist or remember the guy they spoke to at the gig who is looking...

 

 

Thanks Phil, you talk a lot of sense and I will take a lot of it on board.

 

I am open to trying other genres and will give anything a go, providing I can play it adequately of course.

 

For a small market town, Bridgnorth does have a lively music scene but the problem I'm finding is that lots a local musicians are in multiple bands, so if just one local bass player is in three or four different bands, that means that those three or four bands already have a bass player. making it harder for someone like me to find a band.

[Happy Jack]

12 minutes ago, thebrig said:

... the problem I'm finding is that lots a local musicians are in multiple bands, so if just one local bass player is in three or four different bands, that means that those three or four bands already have a bass player. making it harder for someone like me to find a band.

 

Solutions exist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Leonard Smalls]

Have you tried west Midlands bands and Musicians on facebook? I often see folks on there looking for bass players for everything from hardcore through funk to Oasis covers!

[dmccombe7]

3 hours ago, thebrig said:

Thanks again for the comments, and I have to admit that some of you have confirmed what I have suspected all along, and that is:

Age has finally caught up with me and I now look old and tired, which is probably putting people off.

My videos are uninspiring, and that sitting down whilst playing isn't helping, but the problem I have is that I don't have much footage of me playing live, and those that I do have are mainly of my last band Stupidity, which specialised in old school pub-rock, which is my favourite genre, I also like classic rock a lot too, but I am open to playing most styles.

I did find this video of me at a jam a few years ago, but I have to admit that I was extremely nervous because I had only just learn't the song a couple of hours before the session, so I didn't really know it that well and my playing isn't great.

You don't look nervous there and you certainly don't look 73 sir. If i didn't know your age i would have put you in 50's bracket so get yourself out there and keep it going as long as you are fit enough.

As i always say age is just a hurdle in life, get over it.

The vids comments were more about how the vids came across rather than what i see here. 

Get yourself a wee Lizzy tribute going.

Dave

Edited October 29 by dmccombe7

[thebrig]

8 minutes ago, Leonard Smalls said:

Have you tried west Midlands bands and Musicians on facebook? I often see folks on there looking for bass players for everything from hardcore through funk to Oasis covers!

Yes, I regularly check out West Midlands Bands and Musicians and the Telford and Shropshire Musicians one as well, I think I will probably have more of a chance on these than on JMB and BandMix/

 

Thanks

[dmccombe7]

24 minutes ago, thebrig said:

Thanks Phil, you talk a lot of sense and I will take a lot of it on board.

 

I am open to trying other genres and will give anything a go, providing I can play it adequately of course.

 

For a small market town, Bridgnorth does have a lively music scene but the problem I'm finding is that lots a local musicians are in multiple bands, so if just one local bass player is in three or four different bands, that means that those three or four bands already have a bass player. making it harder for someone like me to find a band.

I'm in 3 bands but i'm still not gigging every month let alone weekly. I originally took on two bands to get out more but the 3rd came along just as the punk band was fading but it hasn't finished as yet so will see what happens there.

I live in a small country village in Scotland and our Glam band is spread over a 100 miles. If you want to gig then travelling a bit is something you just have to accept. I used to rehearse weekly in Glasgow (45miles each way) but i accepted that when i joined a band. Try widening your search area. Common ground might only be 25-30miles from you.

Dave 

[thebrig]

5 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

I'm in 3 bands but i'm still not gigging every month let alone weekly. I originally took on two bands to get out more but the 3rd came along just as the punk band was fading but it hasn't finished as yet so will see what happens there.

I live in a small country village in Scotland and our Glam band is spread over a 100 miles. If you want to gig then travelling a bit is something you just have to accept. I used to rehearse weekly in Glasgow (45miles each way) but i accepted that when i joined a band. Try widening your search area. Common ground might only be 25-30miles from you.

Dave 

I've always been prepared to travel a fair distance, when I first moved to Bridgnorth ten years ago, I used do nearly a four hour round trip for weekly rehearsals, although I have to admit that as I've got older, I don't enjoy long journeys anymore, especially at night, I would say 45 minutes to an hour each way is about my limit nowadays.

[thebrig]

19 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

You don't look nervous there and you certainly don't look 73 sir. If i didn't know your age i would have put you in 50's bracket so get yourself out there and keep it going as long as you are fit enough.

As i always say age is just a hurdle in life, get over it.

The vids comments were more about how the vids came across rather than what i see here. 

Get yourself a wee Lizzy tribute going.

Dave

Thanks for the compliment Dave, I do think that I look a bit younger in real life than I do in photos and videos, but I'm realistic enough and realise that many people are ageist, and I often get replies on JMB from people asking how old I am?

 

I usually reply, "if you need to know how old I am, then you, or your band is not right for me".

[BassAdder60]

10 minutes ago, thebrig said:

Thanks for the compliment Dave, I do think that I look a bit younger in real life than I do in photos and videos, but I'm realistic enough and realise that many people are ageist, and I often get replies on JMB from people asking how old I am?

 

I usually reply, "if you need to know how old I am, then you, or your band is not right for me".

Or just fib about your age like most ladies do on dating sites !!

 

You could just say late 50’s and leave it at that 

 

When I advertise I just say mature experienced bass player. Anyone asking how old are probably too young for me in a band. Keep looking 

Edited October 29 by BassAdder60

[Al Krow]

8 minutes ago, thebrig said:

Thanks for the compliment Dave, I do think that I look a bit younger in real life than I do in photos and videos, but I'm realistic enough and realise that many people are ageist, and I often get replies on JMB from people asking how old I am?

I usually reply, "if you need to know how old I am, then you, or your band is not right for me".

 

But doesn't that just shut down the conversation - for some folk asking the question, your age may not be a deal breaker? Maybe using a variation of @BassAdder60's suggestion, how about "no longer in my 50s" - and that's actually factually correct too 😊 

[thebrig]

39 minutes ago, BassAdder60 said:

Or just fib about your age like most ladies do on dating sites !!

 

You could just say late 50’s and leave it at that 

 

When I advertise I just say mature experienced bass player. Anyone asking how old are probably too young for me in a band. Keep looking 

Yes, that's usually how I describe myself in adverts, "Mature, Experienced, Bass Player".

[thebrig]

37 minutes ago, Al Krow said:

 

But doesn't that just shut down the conversation - for some folk asking the question, your age may not be a deal breaker? Maybe using a variation of @BassAdder60's suggestion, how about "no longer in my 50s" - and that's actually factually correct too 😊 

I think you are probably right, but I'm referring to replies or responses where they start off "Hey! can I ask how old are you?", which suggests to me that they are probably from younger people who are concerned about the image of the band, which is fair enough if image is important to them, but it does tell me that there's a good chance I won't fit in with that particular band.

[Wolverinebass]

I think you just have to be realistic about what bands you want to do, what bands would take you on and how much of it is about. I'd imagine you'd do better than I ever would playing covers.

 

About 15 years ago, I posted a somewhat ranty post about why I felt bands were looking for someone who would just sit back constantly. Chris B gave me the best advice I've probably ever had "maybe you're just going for the wrong bands?" It took a good 2 years after that for me to find the right fit. I don't regret the time.

 

Now, as I'm 45, quite a few of those types of bands are closed off to me and although I don't look my age, I accept it's a criteria for some people. I won't lie about it. That being said, the 2 bands I'm in now (both originals) value my playing and insanely off he wall humour. They're lovely, talented people who I'm privileged to call my friends.

 

If they ask how old you are, just say and ask if it's a problem. If they're not specifying an age range, it probably won't be. I doubt you'll be going for bands that have to be signed at all costs, so I'd be surprised if it matters.

 

You'll get something. Just be clear in your own head what you want from it and it'll turn up eventually.

[Stub Mandrel]

Open mikes and drop in to local music shops just like in the old days.

 

Gobto gigs and talk to people especially the bands (when they are not busyn but you know that).

 

Get known as a musician.

 

 

[thebrig]

Thanks again for all the sound advice, I've taken everything on board and I'm going to restructure the way I go about finding a band.

 

I'm going to frequent open mic/jam sessions regularly, and I'm going to watch more live bands and get talking to them, not in an attempt to immediately replace their bass player, but to casually let them know that I'm a bass player and enjoy what they play, which might prompt them to ask me if I would be interested in joining them if ever their bass player did leave for whatever reason.

I do get see a lot of really good older bands where the members are even older than me, so I know that all is not lost yet, so I will stay positive.👍

[dmccombe7]

Makes sense. Keep us posted on how you get on.

For me it was thru word of mouth that a friend of a friend mentioned me to a band that was looking. That seems to be how i end up in most bands over the years except when i returned to playing at 50. From there i got in touch others looking for bands and i guess that was my start to networking again. When bands were looking my name was mentioned and i was contacted to see if i would be interested.

Dave

Edited October 29 by dmccombe7

[martthebass]

About 8 years ago when I thought I was winding down the band activities I ended up depping for a mates band. It came about from a Jamnight thing where someone noticed I knew some of that bands set list. For various reasons I never left and still gig usually 3-4 times per month even though I’m in my early 60s dotage. I can’t add much to what’s already been said but you’re obviously a more than competent player so hit a few jams/open mics and I’m sure the opportunities will roll in. Good luck.

[thebrig]

3 hours ago, martthebass said:

About 8 years ago when I thought I was winding down the band activities I ended up depping for a mates band. It came about from a Jamnight thing where someone noticed I knew some of that bands set list. For various reasons I never left and still gig usually 3-4 times per month even though I’m in my early 60s dotage. I can’t add much to what’s already been said but you’re obviously a more than competent player so hit a few jams/open mics and I’m sure the opportunities will roll in. Good luck.

Thanks, I already feel a bit more positive, it's amazing what this great community can do, I think I got into a bit of a rut having not been in a band for five years, but I'm determined to put a lot of all the great advice into practise.👍

[Bluewine]

Have you defined what you want out of a band ? I'd be looking for good people to network with to help you find a match.

 

Starting a new band is tough. 99% of start ups/ new bands probably never see their first gig.

 

Daryl

[thebrig]

1 hour ago, Bluewine said:

Have you defined what you want out of a band ? I'd be looking for good people to network with to help you find a match.

 

Starting a new band is tough. 99% of start ups/ new bands probably never see their first gig.

 

Daryl

I always make it very clear what I'm after in my adverts, but maybe that might work against me because I do favour classic rock and pub rock (Dr Feelgood, Nine below Zero, The Pirates, etc), but I am open to other genres, but because I usually state my preferences, then maybe that might make people think that I'm not genuinely into anything else.

 

As for start ups/new bands? I've spent the past five years trying to get bands together, but unfortunately, I've found that there so many people out there who like responding to ads but have no intention of carrying out what they say to you, and over the years I've noticed that on sites like JMB and BandMix, I seem to see the same people advertising, or responding to my ads over and over again.

 

I agree that I should try networking more in an attempt to meet the right people for me.

 

Cheers.

[BigRedX]

2 hours ago, Bluewine said:

Starting a new band is tough. 99% of start ups/ new bands probably never see their first gig.

 

Starting a band from scratch can be tough, but IME of 50 years of being in bands only a couple never made it as far as gigging and one of those was always seen as a recording only project whose aim was simply to put out 2 tracks on a white label 12" single which we succeeded in doing.

 

Another advantage with playing originals is that there doesn't have to be a specific band line up. One of my current bands has neither a guitarist nor a drummer simply because we chose not replace either when they left the band. The computer handles the drums and I play bass VI and alternate rhythmic and melodic elements with the synth player.

[BigRedX]

The other thing I have come to realise now that I'm in my mid 60s is that age is less important than overall fitness and health.