So, my band booted me out...

[TimR]

[quote name='TheButler' post='552843' date='Jul 27 2009, 04:38 PM']...
We appreciate your efforts over the last few weeks, but we're can't really see it working out, and this is perhaps as much to do with the fact we have been together for a few years now and would struggle with anyone new, as it is to do with you.

I'm sure you'll have no problems finding a new vehicle for your bassing - there are plenty of folks looking for guys like you - so all the best.
....[/quote]

So they've asked you along to play with them and decided after a few weeks that you're not really what they are after. Maybe they thought from the begining that you wern't exactly what they were after but would give you a shot. I expect they already had a set sound, particular way of playing or even an image that they were after. After a few weeks of working with you they decide that you don't fit in. They gave it a shot, you gave it a shot and it didn't work for them.

The positive thing is that they've suggested you will have no problem finding another band so it's not your ability as far as they're concerned.

[TheButler]

Thing was - my playing could easily adapt to their style, I [i]am[/i] their style (aesthetically) we all got on, had a laugh - even if i was relatively quiet, they would reassure me that it was all developing nicely etc.. ah well, never mind. I can't believe someone suggested i would lose my temper, i'm waaayyy too laid back (sometimes for my own good)

Anyway, here is what i replied with:

Hi Jon,

Well, this is very disappointing and quite disheartening. Admitedly made that little bit sorer by the impersonal format of an e-mail, but i realise it is a difficult thing for you all to do, so i can understand to some extent.

I must express some confusion though - as it seemed everything was going really quite well - i've either misinterpreted everyone or you've all given me false impressions of how it was developing. Nevertheless, i respect the decision and trust it was made for equitable reasons.

I greatly appreciate the time and opportunity you've given me and you'll hopefully not be too surprised to hear that I've taken away, and learnt, a fair bit in the short time i was with you. All i'd like to ask now is for you to elaborate on the reasons for doing this (honesty would be greatly appreciated even if it is awkward!)

In any case, the music sounds great; you're a talented bunch and i'm sure that it'll continue to sound good regardless of having bass in the mix or not - which i guess will be the course of action now, if you're not keen on getting anyone new in?

All the best to you all, and good luck for the future.

Cheers,

Jamie

Edited July 28, 2009 by TheButler

[leonshelley01]

That seems very reasonable. Update us when/if you get a response!

[Rich]

I like it. Polite, friendly, and just the right amount of "look, I'm a bit pissed off about this".

[skankdelvar]

[quote name='TheButler' post='554590' date='Jul 28 2009, 11:16 PM']...i'm sure that it'll continue to sound good regardless of having bass in the mix or not - which i guess will be the course of action now, if you're not keen on getting anyone new in?[/quote]

Nice touch. That'll have them scratching their heads...

[Sean]

Nice reply!

[Bigwan]

+1 on the great reply. I for one couldn't have gone softly into the night without knowing reasons and would not have been as nice in my reply (so would probably have burnt bridges and not heard back from from them as to why!)...

[xilddx]

That's an excellent reply! I reckon you'll get very little response

[51m0n]

If that fails I reckon you should strap a nuke to your forehead and nut the smegger, or hit them with a major leaflet campaign.....

[JTUK]

So that is that..leave it now or you will come across as too needy and desperate and confirm they were right in the 1st place.
Probably band politics in the background so at least you are still on decent enough terms with them..and one or two may remember that at another date if your playing wan't the issue

The trick to being in demand is that you don't fall out with anyone...and play with them on your terms..within reason, so don't give them any other reason to not pass on your name with a good reference..
Last thing you need, is 'good enough player, but a PITA' type thing.......or even worst, everything said is derogatory...

[TheButler]

Here's the reply - I'm happy enough (because he is a really decent guy, and has obviously gone to great lengths to communicate his point, even if it was an e-mail) No more will be said about it. Okay, so i don't agree with just about all of it, but meh. They're

[TheButler]

Here's the reply - I'm happy enough (because he is a really decent guy, and has obviously gone to great lengths to communicate his point, even if it was an e-mail) No more will be said about it.

Okay, so i don't agree with just about all of it... but i could be here all day if i began to pick it apart. They're not going to get anywhere, any faster by making the vocalist (Jon) play bass... he said to me in another e-mail he can't play it to save his life. Oh well.



Hi Jamie,

Cheers for getting back to me - i totally appreciate where you're coming from and will try my best to give you some closure on this.

If I'm being honest, the main reason for us continuing on without you was that we weren't happy with progress you'd made with the songs. We've just lost a bassist who was the least committed member of the band and who put the least amount of work in and were obviously very conscious of not letting this happen again. We had given you 2 songs to work with - one of which (Soundtrack) was undoubtedly the easiest bassing/vocal one to pick up - and after 4 practices (including all the time in between) we didn't feel you were picking it up quick enough, especially given that you're currently blessed with an enviable amount of free time. This may sound harsh, and as i alluded to in my previous email, this may be as much a fault of ours as of yours (too high expectations etc.), but the signs weren't promising for the long term, and the last thing we wanted to do given that we've been toiling as a band for over 3 years now was to waste any more time (either ours or yours). An example where we felt your attitude towards the band was probably not in line with ours was when it transpired that you'd not listened at any great length to the songs on our myspace. We felt that if any of us were joining an established band, trying to pick up all available songs would be top of our list of things to do.

Another factor was that we've recently had a couple of practises as a 4-piece, to give us some kind of benchmark against which to judge your progress and to be honest, the 4-piece practises have gone better than we (especially I) anticipated. I've played guitar for a number of years and so have been able to take on bassing duties (my prior knowledge of the songs has obviously aided this), whilst vocal duties will be shared between euan and some pre-recorded samples in all likelihood.

You have to appreciate that all of this is nothing personal, and I'm hopefully satisfying your request for honesty. I'd encourage to keep on bassing and def find yourself a new band, or maybe set up your own one - you've definitely got the ability plus you have the massive bonus of having time on your side!

You'll have realised that as a band, we're not the most communicative - it's taken us over 3 years to get this honest with eachother, and we're still nowhere near as open as we should be, so i apologise for not confronting you with our concerns.

Let me know if there's anything else you want to know.

All the best,

Jon

[TheButler]

Okay... i replied:

Hi Jon,

Cheers for the reply, that has cleared everything up for me, at least
now i can respect the decision in it's entirety. Unfortunately there
are some points that i'm not too sure i agree on (which doesn't mean
you're 'wrong' as such!)

As i'm sure you'll be aware practicing songs at home gives no room
for interaction with other musicians, as apposed to practicing live as
a unit. That might sound like an excuse, and to some extent it
probably is, but it isn't a case of simply playing along to a track in
order to get things tight. Also, I wasn't made to believe, from the
rest of the band, that i really wasn't performing well. Instead it
seemed all i ever got (at practice at least) was much appreciated and
respected words of encouragement; that things did indeed seem to be
progressing at an acceptable pace, towards a favourable outcome.

As far as the myspace tracks were concerned, that was my definitely my
fault for giving you a negative, false impression of my enthusiasm -
apologies there. You've probably noticed i'm not that outgoing
(outwith my social circle) and to express my enthusiasm to a group of
people that i'm merely acquaintances with was always going to be
difficult. Ultimately, i had the two tracks that you wanted me to
learn sent to me, which made me think i didn't have any need to go on
the myspace and listen to the other two regularly.

You're right about the time business. Academically i was on holiday,
but things were never easy for me in other respects, i never felt at
ease so as to be able to communicate that to any of you. If you think
you guys need to do something about your communication, then i
certainly do - thats the main thing i've learnt i reckon.

Anyhow, i'm sure the music will continue to sound good and i hope you
were just joking when you said you couldn't play bass! Either way you
guys obviously thought the likelihood that you'll be able to pick up
the bass parts quicker than i could've got up to speed with the
tracks, which is obviously what matters for the overall good of the
band.

Cheers for the encouragement. I've already got some other things
lined up (with a post-rock band in Glasgow and some other stuff here
in Edinburgh) alongside a couple of other projects that have been
on-going (and neglected for several months) that i should maybe put some time into:

www.myspace.com/drovethroughghosts and www.myspace.com/citybeyondthedark

Anyway Jon, as i said i have no regrets and i greatly appreciate the
time you guys have given me. I'm taking a lot away with me that will
hopefully mean, in the long run, more success, enjoyment and all that.

All the best,

Jamie

[davidmpires]

You got the reason that was good. Now just move on and learn from your mistakes, don't overthink it.

[dlloyd]

Yep. Drop it and move on... you're not doing yourself any favours in emailing back.

[thepurpleblob]

I don't want to give the knife a twist particularly but all this is just talk. They didn't like you. Not everybody gets on with everybody else and there's not a lot you can do. If they thought you where a great guy they'd have made an effort to get you up to speed with what they needed, talked to you about it, or given you more time. Just leave it alone and put it down to experience. Having to learn new stuff with new people under pressure is the best practice there is - even if it doesn't go any place.

[iamapirate]

+1

[M4L666]

Well, they gave you a reason. It seems... true, if not full. Good that you signed off nicely, and that you told them they were right etc. It may have been personal, I didn't get that impression from the emails but then again I didn't know the people IRL. Good luck with the other projects mate

[xilddx]

[quote name='dlloyd' post='555153' date='Jul 29 2009, 02:54 PM']Yep. Drop it and move on... you're not doing yourself any favours in emailing back.[/quote]

+1 Yep, let it go now.

[cetera]

Their reply sounds like b*llsh*t to me... but as others have said - let it go and move onwards & upwards. Just be glad you got away from a bunch of backstabbers....

Edited July 29, 2009 by cetera

[TheButler]

[quote name='M4L666' post='555198' date='Jul 29 2009, 03:16 PM']...Good that you signed off nicely.[/quote]


That was the whole purpose, with replying and at least exchanging more info. Don't worry folks its dropped now!

[LukeFRC]

Plenty of stuff happening in the burgh, It's a funy place though- you tend to have to find people and make stuff happen rather than anything else... what type of stuff you want to play?
Intrigued who the band are too, If they have been going 3 years I should know of them. Left my old band a year and a bit ago but when we were giging we got to be part of (one of) the edinburgh scenes. We managed to jump the bannermans level of success going straight from the wee red bar to cab vol and king tuts.

Edinburgh need more music though! Make it happen Butler!

[EBS_freak]

[quote name='bartelby' post='552885' date='Jul 27 2009, 05:02 PM']Is there a chance the original bassist wants back in?[/quote]

Been there, done that. They were a tight knit group of friends...

...and maybe because the band I was in landed the support slot at Blur's reunion gigs. (they wanted their friend to share the experience obviously)

...but hey, who cares? Get up, move on! It's no use arguing the toss. Nobody should be in a band where they are not wanted or delaying the inevitable. It will screw you up harder in the end....

Edited July 30, 2009 by EBS_freak

[TheButler]

Here, here! I'm fine with it, i just wanted to know a bit more - a bit of reassurance that i wasn't a twat or ought

[jonny-lad]

[quote name='TheButler' post='555101' date='Jul 29 2009, 02:11 PM']I've played guitar for a number of years and so have been able to take on bassing duties[/quote]
Yeah, because if you play guitar that means you can play bass too because it has only four strings!!?....NOT!

They sound pretty pathetic to me and clearly don't have much understanding of the role of a bass in a band. Furthermore, their use of e-mails is, IMO, a cowardly way to deal with the issue - I'd like to see if they'd say all of those things to your face...probably not!

I think in these situations, you can really get a good understanding of what some people are really like and as far as I can tell, you've had a lucky escape!

It always takes a while to find the perfect band, but once you go through some rubbish like this a few times, you'll find something good - just got to keep trying! It always gives you the opportunity to try something new aswell, so it's never as bad as it first seems.

Good luck with finding something new!