Marvin Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Quick history. Met a drummer about 6 months ago, became good mates and have spent a fair time jamming. He actually got me back playing after a 15 year gap (so effectively I'm still a beginner because I never really learnt anything the first time). He was looking to get in a band and after a while asked if I'd be interested - like he needed to ask, really . Bit more practice and I'm feeling ready so suggest, a couple of months ago, we start looking around at forming this band. Drummer says he's busy until past christmas now - all of a sudden, then lets slip he's thinking of taking up an offer from another bass player. He doesn't take up the offer but it seems to have soured the whole thing and then music wise we seem to be diverging. [b]So here's the rub[/b]. Do I stick with it - not particularly happy with the strange atmosphere or the music OR do I just walk away. There seem very few opportunities to get bands going in this neck of the woods - it's all a bit disparate. What annoys me though is that the guy who I was going to ask to be our singer has just got a band together and has only just filled the bass part. Doubly p1ssed off because he's a good mate of my brother's and a top bloke (although he did offer me the dep job, diamond) and doing stuff I really get into. Waiting around has then cost me. I don't want to p1ss this drummer off, but I've got a nagging feeling it just ain't going anywhere. If none of this makes any sense I sincerely apologise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubs Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I'd keep with it but look around for something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Academy Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmer61 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 [quote name='Pete Academy' post='644658' date='Nov 3 2009, 08:09 PM']Move on.[/quote] +1 -It's all a matter of trust imo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 If you've got a nagging feeling, then your probably right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 I wouldn't cut off your nose to spite your face, if it means not doing any playing, but the ground is set now... I'd stick with it as long as you see a purpose to it.. but I wouldn't be so committed if a decent offer came up..and I'd probably be actively looking as well. If you want to play, then one of the first things you have to have, is the desire to do things efficiently and be available, IMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbird13 Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 Just to be contrary I'd say stick with it for a while for the following reasons You say its difficult getting into bands where you live but the only way you can really learn and progress is by playing with other people so if you tell this drummer where to go now chances are you could be playing in your bedroom for the foreseeable future which after a while can get really boring In an ideal world you would go for a beer with the drummer and have a chat about it but I suppose you would have already done this if it were practical.Stick with it for the time being and make some recordings of you playing with this drummer so that if it still doesnt work out you can look around and email some MP3 s to give potential bands an idea of what you can play if the oppurtunity arises TBH nothing I hear about the way people are treated in bands suprises me in my limited experience I just take it as read that I will be lied to and undervalued so I just use it as a learning curve Hope this helps Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 and just to add.... it is ALL about networking. The playing side needs to stack up but you need to know people who do stuff rather than sit around talking about it..IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain black Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 In a similar situation myself just now where you're a bit obligated to someone, normally a drummer it has to be said, but things don't appear to be progressing. our drummer just decided he wanted a 3-4 month break to sort out his extension!!!! left us in the lurch as we were just getting regular gigs. had enough of things now and even though we're still doing a couple of gigs which we're committed to I'm calling it a day. Pastures new. Don't know how old you are but I'm 40 in a couple of days and I don't want to mess around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted November 3, 2009 Author Share Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) [quote name='JTUK' post='644729' date='Nov 3 2009, 09:22 PM']I wouldn't cut off your nose to spite your face, if it means not doing any playing, but the ground is set now... I'd stick with it as long as you see a purpose to it.. but I wouldn't be so committed if a decent offer came up..and I'd probably be actively looking as well. If you want to play, then one of the first things you have to have, is the desire to do things efficiently and be available, IMO[/quote] That sort of sums up my undecidedness. I don't want to turn my back on something that may go somewhere. However, recently I haven't really been getting an awful lot out of it, TBH. ie the musical divergence. I'm not sure if I read too much into it but I was taken aback a little when he said he was considering joining up with this other geezer only a few days after stating that he was too busy to commit to a band. I have a rule lately that if you fu*k me about once I move on, I've got a bit p1ssed off with people wasting my time. I don't know. Edited November 3, 2009 by RichB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemmywinks Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 [quote name='captain black' post='644743' date='Nov 3 2009, 09:33 PM']In a similar situation myself just now where you're a bit obligated to someone, normally a drummer it has to be said, but things don't appear to be progressing. [b]our drummer just decided he wanted a 3-4 month break to sort out his extension!!!![/b] left us in the lurch as we were just getting regular gigs. had enough of things now and even though we're still doing a couple of gigs which we're committed to I'm calling it a day. Pastures new. Don't know how old you are but I'm 40 in a couple of days and I don't want to mess around.[/quote] You can get pills to help with that nowadays! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey R Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 [quote name='RichB' post='644646' date='Nov 3 2009, 07:56 PM']He was looking to get in a band and after a while asked if I'd be interested - like he needed to ask, really . Bit more practice and I'm feeling ready so suggest, a couple of months ago, we start looking around at forming this band. Drummer says he's busy until past christmas now - all of a sudden, then lets slip he's thinking of taking up an offer from another bass player.[/quote] This looks like the band with this drummer was never actually formed, in reality it was just an idea the two of you were bashing about. Youve not invested anything yet so youve got nowt to lose. The guy is a good friend and is probably feeling a little unconfortable about the whole thing too, so just keep jamming since that what you both enjoy. Dont expect anything more than dreaming though, and if it does become a band then bonus. In the mean time keep your eye out in case something else turns up. Ive been in loads of pub conversations where all present agreed to form a band - very rarely did anything ever come out of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 3, 2009 Share Posted November 3, 2009 [quote name='RichB' post='644744' date='Nov 3 2009, 09:33 PM']That sort of sums up my undecidedness. I don't want to turn my back on something that may go somewhere. However, recently I haven't really been getting an awful lot out of it, TBH. ie the musical divergence. I'm not sure if I read too much into it but I was taken aback a little when he said he was considering joining up with this other geezer only a few days after stating that he was too busy to commit to a band. I have a rule lately that if you fu*k me about once I move on, I've got a bit p1ssed off with people wasting my time. I don't know.[/quote] I don't know how things are set up in your area, but in August we decided to start up a unit and took one or two gigs back then for November. It wasn't a great time to start as holidays have cost us about 6 weeks or so, but the driver of all this was to make the dates. I think you need to set targets to see how committed some people really are and there is nothing like a gig to concentrate the mind. Our players have had to learn 25 songs in the few months and a lot of that work is done at home. We aim to tackle 6 songs per rehearsal so everyone knows what we are working on...and might have a few extras if we riup through a few of them. You know who and what work hasn't been done but a few jolly-ups and wake-up calls has sorted that out. I'll go into the first gig next week as apprehensive as I have felt for ages ..and I do a lot of seat of the pants gigs, so I am used to that situation, but the target and goals are clear and it is obvious who has and can put the time in.. Have a chat, set out the plan and then watch out for any excuses why they can't be achieved... and then, hopefully you'll know. And also get out there and see what is what, do open nights and make muso friends so you have options should you really want to bin this one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted November 3, 2009 Author Share Posted November 3, 2009 [quote name='Mikey R' post='644796' date='Nov 3 2009, 10:32 PM']This looks like the band with this drummer was never actually formed, in reality it was just an idea the two of you were bashing about. Youve not invested anything yet so youve got nowt to lose. The guy is a good friend and is probably feeling a little unconfortable about the whole thing too, so just keep jamming since that what you both enjoy. Dont expect anything more than dreaming though, and if it does become a band then bonus. In the mean time keep your eye out in case something else turns up. Ive been in loads of pub conversations where all present agreed to form a band - very rarely did anything ever come out of it.[/quote] The intention was definitely to form a band, but all seems to have gone a bit fluffy. (sorry had to use that someone used it at work today and has had me smirking all day) [quote name='JTUK' post='644809' date='Nov 3 2009, 10:46 PM']I don't know how things are set up in your area, but in August we decided to start up a unit and took one or two gigs back then for November. It wasn't a great time to start as holidays have cost us about 6 weeks or so, but the driver of all this was to make the dates. I think you need to set targets to see how committed some people really are and there is nothing like a gig to concentrate the mind. Our players have had to learn 25 songs in the few months and a lot of that work is done at home. We aim to tackle 6 songs per rehearsal so everyone knows what we are working on...and might have a few extras if we riup through a few of them. You know who and what work hasn't been done but a few jolly-ups and wake-up calls has sorted that out. I'll go into the first gig next week as apprehensive as I have felt for ages ..and I do a lot of seat of the pants gigs, so I am used to that situation, but the target and goals are clear and it is obvious who has and can put the time in.. Have a chat, set out the plan and then watch out for any excuses why they can't be achieved... and then, hopefully you'll know. And also get out there and see what is what, do open nights and make muso friends so you have options should you really want to bin this one...[/quote] This is probably what is needed. The guy hasn't really got a job to speak of, no kids and his only preoccupation at the moment is he is improving his house. I've got the usual list of distractions kids, full time job and still trying to sort the house out, but am up for getting something started now. Proposing an action plan may be the way to test commitment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary mac Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 A couple of days back in the bassists wanted/available section there was a request for a bass player in the Devon area. Why not check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 [quote name='gary mac' post='645055' date='Nov 4 2009, 10:44 AM']A couple of days back in the bassists wanted/available section there was a request for a bass player in the Devon area. Why not check it out.[/quote] Was sorely tempted by this and thanks for the link. However, had a good chat with drummer and things are back to how they were. Which is really good as we were having a really good laugh as well. The aim is definitely a band and we've agreed a broad range of material, not actual songs but bands and influences. So we are moving. Thanks for all your comments and advice. BC comes through again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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