3V17C Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 our drummer is starting to bother me! Basically we choose a song to learn and then it comes to rehearsal and we play through it for the first time and its pretty much bang on perfect. But then he'll say - 'nah, can't play that'! ......We're all like - 'but you just did - perfectly!' and he says 'yeah but I wouldn't be comfortable doing it live' and thats the end of it. That song is now out. He will not budge. Thing is, fair enough, some songs may have tricky bits in BUT THEN YOU PRACTICE IT surely?! but he won't - if he can't do it first time, then thats it - it simply can't be done. End of. He has an electronic kit at home, plenty of spare time on his hands and easy access to rehearsal place for setting his kit up and running thru stuff but insists that practicing it won't make any difference. It might be something as little as just one particular fill in the song that causes the whole song to be scrapped. Theres also one or two songs where he's made a very slight mistake live and which he now refuses to play in case he repeats the mistake!...again....practice, surely? and we all make mistakes from time to time. Any new songs we learn have to be rehearsed and rehearsed about a 100 times before he'll even think about playing them live despite the fact they may be fine after just a few rehearsals. Every other band member now has spoken to me individually and said that they feel he is holding us back and it is kinda true. Its got to the point now where when its time to chose songs to learn it is purely just down to him to pick based on whether or not he thinks he can play them ok. Which he can! i can't re-iterate how good a drummer he is. its a confidence thing is all, i'm sure. He doesn't really help set up/pack down after gigs apart from his own stuff, he spends all his time texting his girlfriend which has become a running joke in the band but annoys me. We were all onstage waiting to start a gig once and before he'd count in he had to finish sending a text! and i also caught him texting between songs once! grrrrrr. Thing is, despite what he thinks, he's a very good drummer and would be hard to replace. The whole things made more tricky by the fact that his mum died fairly recently and he's now on anti-depressents and also the fact that I've been friends with him for years. aaaaaaaaargh!!!! sorry about long post...bored at work!! peace c Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theosd Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Tell him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tinman Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Tricky one Could you not call a band meeting and sit and talk the various points through with him? Maybe he is unaware of your feelings about the things which are starting to bother the rest of you, perhaps you could also use the opportunity to tell him how good you all actually think he is and this might boost his confidence a bit? Just my thoughts on the matter, apologies if this is stating the obvious and you have already tried this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowhand_mike Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 sounds like he needs a boost of confidence and recent things are obviously not helping the situation. our guitarist can be a right nightmare to get to play certain songs cos he thinks he can't do it even though we know he can. but us telling him he can do it just seems to make him dig his heels in. i think in this kind of situation it needs to come from someone outside the band but can be recognised as really knowing what they are talking about. that would put some force behind the comment. maybe a day in a recording studio might help as he can then here exactly what he is doing. or maybe its a case of riding it out for a while till he gets his mojo back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedontcarebear Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Kick him out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodenshirt Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 3V17C, This is all because of your hate mailer, isn't it? Because of that experience, your drummer has developed 'can't play that syndrum' - (syndrum, geddit?...... well I thought it was funny..... you see it's a drumming joke.......) Your band's falling apart mate. We had this with our drummer not long ago.... we sent him off to bed with no supper..... he only did it once. He'll grow out of it..... just watch the bed wetting. Hope this has been helpful, Sorry I'm bored as well, Mart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Funk Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Don't just sack him. Shoot him. In the empty place where his balls used to hang. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassicinstinct Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 [b]The Funk:[/b][u][/u] Totally agree. The guy sounds like a total waste of skin to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Do some of you guys work in H.R. then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaBassMonsta Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I agree with the others saying get rid. I'd rather work with someone who had a quarter of the ability but was committed. It's worth getting together and telling him all of this. Saying that while his ability is good, his attitude is holding everyone else up. Give him the opportunity to shape up or get shipped out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 He's not necessarily un-committed, just a bit messed up in the head. It sounds like he has quite a bad OCD about his mistakes, and obviously as you say he's depressed. I may sound like a "big gay boy" but I think some of these posts are really insensitive, and Happy jack is just funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stag Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I had this sort of situation a while ago, drummer's heart really wasnt in it by the end and he just left of his own accord. Simply ask him if he wants to leave and see what he says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johngh Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Drummers are the bane of my life at the moment, just tell him to sort himself out and tell him in no uncertain terms he's holding you all back. Its the only way forward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colda Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I have an old Yamaha RX11 that's just gathering dust that you might be able to put to good use Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Horse Murphy Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I'll swap you for our Drummer..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Funk Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 I've been heavily depressed for 6 years now and the only thing keeping me from jumping has been music. You haven't told us if he's always been like this or just since his mum passed. But texting his girlfriend from the stage in between songs - wtf is that? In my band, you'd get a beating if you pulled something like that. And I love all the guys in my band. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skywalker Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 If the other guys in the band want to do the song but the drummer doesn't, ask him to suggest a small change in the arrangement that suits him, but doesn't affect the passage of the song. That may make him feel that he's making a bigger contribution. If he's good he should take that on board (he should have thought of this himself, but let's make allowances). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB1 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 MB1. My band HAD a drummer like this once(Pay special attention to the word HAD!). texting onstage ,while the rest of the band are waiting for a count in,...WTF! He seems to be profoundly in love with pandora and thinking with his Nob! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skywalker Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 Lock all mobiles in the dressing room when you do your set - and make that a band rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB1 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 [quote name='skywalker' date='Oct 11 2007, 01:30 PM' post='72800'] Lock all mobiles in the dressing room when you do your set - and make that a band rule. MB1. lock the drummer in the dressing room and play to his mobile ringtones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero9 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 We don't use a drummer... Wil ^..^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 To be fair, I can't beleive he takes his phone on stage. I've never seen that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB1 Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 (edited) MB1. Drummer or Receptionist whats it to be? ...How do you know when the drum risers level? .......The drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth! Edited October 11, 2007 by MB1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colda Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 [quote name='MB1' post='72817' date='Oct 11 2007, 01:47 PM']MB1. Drummer or Receptionist whats it to be?[/quote] Why has that made me think about banging the secretary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dood Posted October 11, 2007 Share Posted October 11, 2007 What do you say to a drummer with 2 black eyes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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