Really can't be arsed

[BluRay]

I can't be arsed either - except I really missed playing after a 10 year break. I found its really hard to hook up with people who can play and are ok, but also can't be arsed to the exact same degree as me :-) .....ie to fit stuff around jobs, kids and wotnot, but without it being a chore. There always seemed to be a band member or two with hopeless ambition. Thats not an option for me now - I've been signed before, and know its not gunna cover the bills or allow the time i need with family. Anyhow I've stuck with it - and advertised for talented lazy bast*rds. Turns out there are plenty of them in the same boat as me. Nearly at a full line up, so fingers crossed.

[Muzz]

Well, I played in originals bands and spent a lot of time on music (rehearsing 3 times a week, gigging as much as we could, etc) up until my late twenties, then burnt out and left it behind for a long time (still kept my main bass and a guitar, tho the SVT and 8x10 went) except for the odd birthday gig and depping for a mate's covers band a couple of times a year .

Fast forward a couple of decades, and a random phone call drops a fantastic opportunity into my lap, and now at 46 with Mrs and 5 year old, I'm back in a great originals band* with some old mates, and I feel like I'd been asleep for a long time. It's harder than ever to find time for playing and rehearsing (even once a week is tricky), but as a couple of people have said, the effort's worth it for the buzz. Oh, and the GAS...

If you aren't feeling it, maybe it's time for a break to recharge, but I wouldn't bother burning any bridges - you know you'll be back... Drop the bits you don't enjoy, and make your life easier for a while, see how that works for you; you can always pick it up again. Good luck with whatever you choose.



* The Mrs and the 5 year old aren't in the band, btw...

Edited April 7, 2010 by Muzz

[OutToPlayJazz]

I suppose it's a different kettle of fish for me as a pro, but I know what you mean on the covers side. I left my last covers outfit a couple of years ago. We'd reached the point of headlining all the big biker rallies and there was really nowhere else to go.

Tribute bands are really popular these days, but they drag you into the same place (boredom) because there's no room in a tribute for your own interpretation within the music. I lasted about 6 gigs in a tribute and promptly left. I suppose the other thing with the tributes is that you end up going country-wide and that'd be difficult for you with a family, etc.

Perhaps you could work on your reading and do a few musical theatre/big band jobs. Or find a new challenge while you wait for a band to come up.

I've been improving my guitard playing recently and am thinking of joining a local-ish blues outfit for some fun. Obviously I'm not going to tell anyone I'm a pro bass player!

If all else fails, drop into your local jam session. It's the surest way to make new playing friends, keep abreast of all the local opportunities & most of all, keep your hand in.

Rich.

[witterth]

[quote name='niceguyhomer' post='798294' date='Apr 7 2010, 07:52 AM']I'm totally knackered all the time - I've just done 7 gigs in 10 days Sometimes I feel like packing up but then I think of what all the other 55 year olds are doing on Saturday night and it reminds me that I'm not ready to join the pipe and slippers mob.

Keep going mate - something will come along to inspire you.[/quote]
yup!
he's said it better than I did and without the typeos too!!
Hang on in there Mike!
you know it makes sense!!!
As a for instance,Ive allready asked Niceguyhomer if I can dep for his band!!!!!.so you know the playing "bug" dosen't go away, I'm afraid.
a lot of players (self included) feel like jacking it all in now and then,but allways change their minds
ATB
Witterth

[alanbass1]

Much of what Linus27 has written I can associate with except I find playing out in a band three/four times a month is a great stress reliever and breaks the regularity presented by my family/job - both of which I have no issues with. I really dislike rehearsing and am fortuntae enough to be in a band where we can introduce new songs with confidence without (if any) rehearsing. We probably rehearse once every two or three months and yet the set we played last weekend had eight new songs in it from the set we played on New Year.

[Sarah5string]

Have you through about a change in direction for a bit? Maybe doing your RGT gradings or teaching for a bit? Bass playing isn't all about doing gigs

[Guest]

I am not at that point yet, as in, with the kids etc, but I think if I reached it I would be more than happy to put the bass away for a while as the kids etc grew up.

[Jerry_B]

I'm a bit perplexed by the idea that once you hit 40, only covers bands can be something to look forward to or be part of, with an originals band being less likely. Why so?

[bootros]

I reckon that with all the media outlets available via the web now is a great time to be in an original band. If the songs are good enough you have a great opportunity to get them 'out there' whilst remaining fairly anonymous, my receding hairline and wideneing beltline mean that I won't be posing on the front of any cd covers and looking daft trying to compete with the younger generation who (quite rightly) need the image angle more than a seasoned (old) musician.

I agree with loads in this thread, I've been on a musical holiday for a few years following an intense 10 years or so in original bands with euro tours etc, once the family comes along and you need a better job to pay the bills then the this has to be a priority, no arguments there. I too struggle with the thought of a covers/tribute outfit but fancied geting back into writing/playing so had a quick look on joinmyband.co.uk . The upshot is I've found a guitarist and drummer with similar tastes looking to start a band locally to me along the same lines as what I was thinking. Early days yet but am looking forward to getting back in the rehearsal studio.

Time is a killer, no idea how I'm going to find the extra hours needed but I will do, at least when you're a bit older you can expect your fellow bandmates to have the ability to practise properly and be prepared. Unlike in the old days when the drummer would turn up for rehearsals drunk and the guitarist would forget to bring at least one piece of vital eqiuipment! Wouldn't change it though...

[thunderbird13]

Ahh bands – no comment personally I’d rather have haemorrhoids than go through the email/ phone call/ audition process only to find yourself in a room with 4 idiots who all think their so gifted that they don’t need to listen to each other to play music

[quote name='Linus27' post='798117' date='Apr 6 2010, 10:05 PM']I also dep for a U2 tribute band when the full time bassist can't make gigs.[/quote]

Just out of curiosity is your Bono as big a nob as the real one

[quote name='thisnameistaken' post='798132' date='Apr 6 2010, 10:15 PM']I'm a bit like you - I think I'd rather retire than spend my middle age doing cover bands.[/quote]
Never really got the hostility towards doing covers if your playing music that you enjoy whats the problem - at least your out their playing with other people - perhaps its because I’m not creative

More seriously I really don’t see the point in voicing an opinion as to whether you should pack it in only you know your circumstance But I do remember you posting before about not being happy with your job and feeling run down – do you think these things are connected ? perhaps its stress which is making the already difficult job of finding decent people to play music with seem that much harder – just a thought

[Linus27]

Thanks everyone for lots of really helpful good advice. It has really helped clear my head a little and mull over things. One thing for sure is I don't want to pack my basses away or sell any gear. Far from it as I love picking the bass up and playing it every day. In fact I really want to buy another bass so its not a case of not wanting to play, just a case of if I can be bothered to get into a band or not. I think for now, I'm going to try and stick with it, find a band and see how much I enjoy it and how it works out. Its the only way forward I think and to find out for sure if its what I want or not. I'm hoping that once I get into a band that I'll start getting the motivation and drive again and things will improve. I guess time will tell.

[Linus27]

[quote name='thunderbird13' post='798416' date='Apr 7 2010, 10:04 AM']Ahh bands – no comment personally I’d rather have haemorrhoids than go through the email/ phone call/ audition process only to find yourself in a room with 4 idiots who all think their so gifted that they don’t need to listen to each other to play music

Just out of curiosity is your Bono as big a nob as the real one

Never really got the hostility towards doing covers if your playing music that you enjoy whats the problem - at least your out their playing with other people - perhaps its because I’m not creative

More seriously I really don’t see the point in voicing an opinion as to whether you should pack it in only you know your circumstance But I do remember you posting before about not being happy with your job and feeling run down – do you think these things are connected ? perhaps its stress which is making the already difficult job of finding decent people to play music with seem that much harder – just a thought[/quote]

HEHE no, in fact Bono is quite laid back and total opposite to his real life counter part.

My wife also thinks the work issue is the key to all this. She thinks that as I am not in a band, work is playing a bigger influence on my personality. When I was in a band she said I was totally different. Happier, full of life and energy and less stressed. In fact, she said work had no inpact at all on me when in a band where as at the moment it is quite considerably despite it being better now than it was before. This is why I think I need to give it another shot in a band and see how it works out.

[Bilbo]

Lots of people want to be a musician.

Some of us have to be.

I could no more walk away from playing than I could give up food. The older I get (46), the more excited I am about its potential. I want more and more from it not less.

Its your call.

[oldslapper]

[quote name='Linus27' post='798460' date='Apr 7 2010, 10:29 AM']HEHE no, in fact Bono is quite laid back and total opposite to his real life counter part.

My wife also thinks the work issue is the key to all this. She thinks that as I am not in a band, work is playing a bigger influence on my personality. When I was in a band she said I was totally different. Happier, full of life and energy and less stressed. In fact, she said work had no inpact at all on me when in a band where as at the moment it is quite considerably despite it being better now than it was before. This is why I think I need to give it another shot in a band and see how it works out.[/quote]

Listen to the wife!

Not a statement offered lightly by the way. I'm usually accused of ignoring what the mrs says.....

Anyway, for what it's worth I gave up playing at the age of 33. got fed up with the "band" thing, disillusioned with the industry as a whole.
Got a "proper job", did well, got promotions and a better income as a result, only touched a guitar if I had a mate round for a jam, or to play a silly song to my kids.

However, the higher the promotion also brought more stress/pressure and I was very unhappy.
Anyway 3 years ago, a mate of mine asked me if I would do some playing for him at an acoustic night, so I borrowed his bass and went along as a favour, and loved it.
He asked me if I would take some of his bass students on (he's a guitarist and thought that bass should be taught by...a bass player??!).
I've found some local bands (covers and originals) and rediscovered the pleasure of playing again, without the pressure to "make it".
No one will have ever heard of me, I won't ever be held up as a bass legend, but who cares?

Wife sees I'm happy again and says she would rather have a happy but poor bunny, than a grumpy stressed exec.
So we looked at our "life style", made some changes and I gave up working "for the man" and now I make my living from playing/teaching.....not the sort of living many of you here make as pro players, I would never put myself in your class, but bugger I'm happy, even though my kids don't have laptops each, or TV's in their bedrooms, or go on exotic hols each year and we drive crap old cars.
But my kids get my time, my wife has a happy oldslapper at home during the day to do the bl***y ironing and cleaning!
I'm 48 and feel like I'm starting again.

Anyway sorry for long story, but you will always have your bass/amp, there will always be an opportunity to play with others, if you look....but you will only have your kids at the age they are today for today.
Make your choices that will give your family [b]you[/b], the real you. Listen to the wife mate, just the once....

Best wishes whatever you choose to do.

[dave_bass5]

Ive been through this as well. It seems like most of us have.

I gave up playing for almost 7 years. There just didnt seem any point. I was working long hours and also had a family so that was all my time used up.

It was only by chance i got back in to playing but once i was gigging i felt a lot more positive. Now i wouldn't dream of giving it up, no matter how tired i am.
I dont really go out during the week so once a week out earning some money and doing what i enjoy is actually helping me get through the rest of the week.

As long as you dont go mad and sell off everything i think its something that comes back very quickly. Its in our blood.

I've had a pretty expensive Gym membership for the past 7-8 years yet i hardly ever go these days. In fact ive been twice since Oct last year. And most nights i walk past the gym. I really dont have the motivation to go. I enjoy it when im there but its the actual walking through the door i cant do.


Michael, if your in central London tonight give me a shout and maybe we could meet up for a moan, and good luck.

Edited April 7, 2010 by dave_bass5

[fatback]

[quote name='Johngh' post='798304' date='Apr 7 2010, 08:06 AM']The worst thing you can do is sell your stuff, DON'T DO IT !!![/quote]

+1000000

Did it twice.

Why not start writing stuff? Get yourself Cubase or protools or whatever, a bunch of plugins and fool around. have some fun.

Or learn another instrument, keys can be good for a bass player imo.

[tauzero]

[quote name='Jerry_B' post='798363' date='Apr 7 2010, 09:21 AM']I'm a bit perplexed by the idea that once you hit 40, only covers bands can be something to look forward to or be part of, with an originals band being less likely. Why so?[/quote]
Because by that time, all the crap originals musicians have realised (consciously or not) that they are crap and have given it up, so 97.3% of originals bands disappear.

Fortunately, at the age of 52, I've managed to join an originals band (and increase the average age significantly). Not that I dislike playing covers, I just get a bit of an extra kick from that additional level of creativity.

[purpleblob]

[quote name='fatback' post='798732' date='Apr 7 2010, 02:24 PM']+1000000

Did it twice.

Why not start writing stuff? Get yourself Cubase or protools or whatever, a bunch of plugins and fool around. have some fun.

Or learn another instrument, keys can be good for a bass player imo.[/quote]

Good advice. I stopped playing to a large degree for something like 20 years (I my God it was that long) but luckily I'm a hoarder, so kept all my gear so when I got "the urge" to play again I had gear ready and waiting.

I'd also go along with several of the other suggestions, so keep at least your core gear (if you decide to give up), i.e. small combo and your fav. instrument(s). Have a break and see how you feel after a short break or maybe look at another instrument to spice up your musical interests or try and write some stuff just for yourself - experiment

I suspect we've all gone through this period (or will go through it) to some degree.

Edited April 9, 2010 by purpleblob

[dave_bass5]

[quote name='purpleblob' post='800978' date='Apr 9 2010, 03:59 PM']I suspect we've all gone through this period (or will go through it) to some degree.[/quote]

After most gigs in my case ;-)

[Gust0o]

The work issue struck a chord with me. A real resonance.

I think the playing has provided a real distraction; and, for many us, it's just what's needed from our work/careers, etc. I used to play a lot of rugby before my accident, and it was great. You could take your week and dump it into the game, and come out a different person. It was something to do, something else to hang your hat on.

I still do a lot of training and play the odd game. But work came calling in the last few months, a real career-making moment which required all hands to the pumps. Apparently I was such a different person over those months it was astounding. Drop it all, immerse myself in my shitting Blackberry, reports, programme planning...

There's a balance in there, and it took me some time to find it again. I'm glad I did; so keep your options open! It might be bass playing, it might not; but all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

[Ancient Mariner]

[quote name='Bilbo' post='798484' date='Apr 7 2010, 10:44 AM']Lots of people want to be a musician.

Some of us have to be.

I could no more walk away from playing than I could give up food. The older I get (46), the more excited I am about its potential. I want more and more from it not less.

Its your call.[/quote]

For a variety of reasons I've had to give up (playing out, at least) for the time being - incidentally it motivated me to start playing bass again. I don't claim to be a great or hugely talented musician, but it's also so much a part of me that the last few months last year I went through depression and all sorts. It also doesn't work for me to play alone: I need to play along with others, even if we're just doing tedious or unappealing stuff, and I need to play in front of people too.

It's been a time of learning, but not much fun.

[thunderbird13]

[quote name='Gust0o' post='800980' date='Apr 9 2010, 04:01 PM']I think the playing has provided a real distraction; and, for many us, it's just what's needed from our work/careers, etc. I used to play a lot of rugby before my accident, and it was great. You could take your week and dump it into the game, and come out a different person. It was something to do, something else to hang your hat on.[/quote]

This is the thing that keeps me coming back - although TBH most of the time I wish there was something else

[hubrad]

[quote name='dave_bass5' post='800979' date='Apr 9 2010, 03:01 PM']After most gigs in my case ;-)[/quote]
Maann! After a gig is usually the time I'm most in love with playing!

Another big +1 to not selling your gear Linus; maybe thin down if you're getting into other things while you 'rest', but make sure you keep at least one full setup so it's always there to go back to.

Best wishes at this trying time.

[Gust0o]

Don't get me wrong, Thunderbird - most of the time I wish I was some Jenson Button-esque playboy; thus demonstrating, no matter how fortunate or priviliged I may be, there's always something else to daydream of

[purpleblob]

[quote name='dave_bass5' post='800979' date='Apr 9 2010, 04:01 PM']After most gigs in my case ;-)[/quote]