What If There Was A Bass Agony Aunt?

[Pete Academy]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt

I've been playing for some years in a covers bands, where we do a mixture of classic songs, mainly rock, pop and funk. Over the last few months I've found my playing getting busier and busier. It started with the odd finger pop and has now progressed to actual slapping in inappropriate numbers. I've been warned about this a few times by the other band members and am in danger of losing my place in the band.

Please help.

[Pete Academy]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt

Why do the other band members pull attractive groupies, while I get blokes asking me what strings I use?

[wotnwhy]

you are feeling as though your skills on the instrument are not being expressed to the audience. get a guitar and join a steve vai tribute band. that should get it out of your system..

[Pete Academy]

I'll get my coat.

[OldGit]

[quote name='Pete Academy' post='852806' date='May 31 2010, 06:24 PM']Dear Bass Agony Aunt

I've been playing for some years in a covers bands, where we do a mixture of classic songs, mainly rock, pop and funk. Over the last few months I've found my playing getting busier and busier. It started with the odd finger pop and has now progressed to actual slapping in inappropriate numbers. I've been warned about this a few times by the other band members and am in danger of losing my place in the band.

Please help.[/quote]


Dear Worried of The Far East
Many bass players go through his phase. As long as the slapping is limited to the side of the drummer's head and the finger popping to the singers' knuckles you should be fine and it will pass.
Yours,
Marge

[OutToPlayJazz]

Dear Lonesome, yet busy Peter,

I think you need to join either a trio where there is room to express yourself, or a seriously cool funk band where you can slap and pop to your heart's content. Remember that when you arrive in bass heaven, the player who plays the most number of notes in a bar is the one who will rule over all mankind & be supplied with an infinite number of nubile virgins...

[Mykesbass]

Dear Marge,

I find great satisfaction in finding songs in the keys of Eb or Bb are used as I know these will irritate most guitarists. Is this natural or am I fundementally warped?

[LawrenceH]

[quote name='OutToPlayJazz' post='852926' date='May 31 2010, 08:33 PM']Remember that when you arrive in bass heaven, the player who plays the most number of notes in a bar is the one who will rule over all mankind & be supplied with an infinite number of nubile virgins...[/quote]



Be careful asking for help on this forum, or you might get the bass equivalent of Katie Price offering relationship advice...

But it sounds to me like you are going through a typical mid-band-crisis, characterised by an unwarranted desire for frequencies above 2k. It will pass, but to ease you through the difficult months ahead try switching to a P bass strung with flats, using in-ear monitoring off the DI and playing through a 1980s Carlsbro 1x15" as a stage amp. This will allow you to satisfy your need for speed in a safe, controlled manner that no-one else will hear, much less care about.

[burno70]

[quote name='OutToPlayJazz' post='852926' date='May 31 2010, 08:33 PM']Dear Lonesome, yet busy Peter,

I think you need to join either a trio where there is room to express yourself, or a seriously cool funk band where you can slap and pop to your heart's content. Remember that when you arrive in bass heaven, the player who plays the most number of notes in a bar is the one who will rule over all mankind & be supplied with an infinite number of nubile virgins...[/quote]


Quality!

[JTUK]

F*** 'em... what do they know..??



but...I'd suggest a serious funk band would have a no slapping zone anyway... you're stuffed

[Sarah5string]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt

Why, as a woman, do I have to prove myself as a competant musician more than my male counterparts, and why do people always presume I'l be either eyecandy or rubbish?

Please help.

[OldGit]

[quote name='Sarah5string' post='853323' date='Jun 1 2010, 09:45 AM']Dear Bass Agony Aunt

Why, as a woman, do I have to prove myself as a competant musician more than my male counterparts, and why do people always presume I'l be either eyecandy or rubbish?

Please help.[/quote]

Dear Sarah,
You've managed to play one of thise great big guitar things? All by yourself?
Oh well done you!!
Now don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
Yours Aggie

[Pete Academy]

[quote name='Sarah5string' post='853323' date='Jun 1 2010, 09:45 AM']Dear Bass Agony Aunt

Why, as a woman, do I have to prove myself as a competant musician more than my male counterparts, and why do people always presume I'l be either eyecandy or rubbish?

Please help.[/quote]

Dear Sarah

Despite my vast experience, I'm unable to answer that eternal dilemma.

Try that little bloke that sits alone up in the Himalayas.

Edited June 1, 2010 by Pete Academy

[crez5150]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt

Mark King or Flea?



from Jeff 'The Tash' Berlin

[lowdown]

[quote name='crez5150' post='853338' date='Jun 1 2010, 09:59 AM']Dear Bass Agony Aunt

Mark King or Flea?

from Jeff 'The Tash' Berlin[/quote]




Very good.



Garry

[gafbass02]

[quote name='OldGit' post='853331' date='Jun 1 2010, 09:51 AM']Dear Sarah,
You've managed to play one of thise great big guitar things? All by yourself?
Oh well done you!!
Now don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
Yours Aggie











[/quote]

hahahahahahaha. I actually did laugh out loud, or as we say here coffe>keyboard. Even though I have finished my (tea) and am on my phone, so no keyboard. But still you get the idea.

Oh and dear Auntie, why oh why am I never satisfied with what I've got? Even though I really only ever play my jazz I still find myself wanting warwicks and stingrays etc because I feel I'm not cool enough to other bassists if all I have is two fenders and nothing fancy or boutique anymore!

Yours dissatisfied Gaf

[Sarah5string]

[quote name='OldGit' post='853331' date='Jun 1 2010, 09:51 AM']Dear Sarah,
You've managed to play one of thise great big guitar things? All by yourself?
Oh well done you!!
Now don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
Yours Aggie











[/quote]
lmao :lol:

[Sarah5string]

[quote name='Pete Academy' post='853336' date='Jun 1 2010, 09:57 AM']Dear Sarah

Despite my vast experience, I'm unable to answer that eternal dilemma.

Try that little bloke that sits alone up in the Himalayas.[/quote]
But what does a Yeti know about bass playing?

[yorick]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt...
Where has my mojo gone?

[JackLondon]

Dear Auntie,

Why have I come here over a year ago with a question about my effect and £4000 pounds later I still have no answer!

Yours
Jack

[Marvin]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt.

I have an uncontrollable urge to 'lamp' the other members of my band one, for comments such as 'you only play one note at a time' and 'you only play bass 'cause you were crap on guitar!' Is this propensity to violence normal? Please help before I do something they regret.

Yours
On the Edge

[Sarah5string]

[quote name='Marvin' post='853698' date='Jun 1 2010, 03:48 PM']Dear Bass Agony Aunt.

I have an uncontrollable urge to 'lamp' the other members of my band one, for comments such as 'you only play one note at a time' and 'you only play bass 'cause you were crap on guitar!' Is this propensity to violence normal? Please help before I do something they regret.

Yours
On the Edge [/quote]
Dear On the Edge,
This behaviour is totally normal. The actions of your bandmates are through sheer jealousy over your awesome awesomeness.
May I recommend the use of violent knee upthrusts to the groin region should you feel the need. Alternatively, if you have any female band members, a forcable punch to the breasts would do well to get your point across.

All the best,
Chuck Norris.

Edited June 1, 2010 by Sarah5string

[Dave Vader]

[quote name='Marvin' post='853698' date='Jun 1 2010, 03:48 PM']Dear Bass Agony Aunt.

I have an uncontrollable urge to 'lamp' the other members of my band one, for comments such as 'you only play one note at a time' and 'you only play bass 'cause you were crap on guitar!' Is this propensity to violence normal? Please help before I do something they regret.

Yours
On the Edge [/quote]

This is perfectly normal behaviour, remember that they are wrong, but like a 3 year old who is crying for no apparent reason, if you ignore them long enough, they will go away. Or even better, lock them in a cupboard until they appreciate you.

Or you could go all Lemmy on your bass for a couple of gigs until they realise that it might be better if you just played the one note at a time, and weren't all good on guitar and stuff....

[Marvin]

[quote name='Sarah5string' post='853705' date='Jun 1 2010, 03:56 PM']Dear On the Edge,
This behaviour is totally normal. The actions of your bandmates are through sheer jealousy over your awesome awesomeness.
May I recommend the use of violent knee upthrusts to the groin region should you feel the need. Alternatively, if you have any female band members, a forcable punch to the breasts would do well to get your point across.

All the best,
Chuck Norris.[/quote]


[quote name='Dave Vader' post='853708' date='Jun 1 2010, 03:58 PM']This is perfectly normal behaviour, remember that they are wrong, but like a 3 year old who is crying for no apparent reason, if you ignore them long enough, they will go away. Or even better, lock them in a cupboard until they appreciate you.

Or you could go all Lemmy on your bass for a couple of gigs until they realise that it might be better if you just played the one note at a time, and weren't all good on guitar and stuff.... [/quote]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt (both of you).

May I first thank you for your prompt response at this most stressful of times . I have taken on board your advice and decided upon a course of action. 1) extreme violence, ergo violent knee thrusts, promptly followed by ignoring them by locking them in a cupboard.
I'm beginning to feel better already.

Thank you

Slightly less On the Edge.

[EntropicLqd]

Dear Bass Agony Aunt.

I appear to be completely incapable of learning any of the notes above the 7th fret on any string on my bass (except the 12th fret). I've been trying to overcome this proplem for a couple of years without success.

What can I do to stamp the knowledge I seek indelibly into my brain?

Yours,
Lost for notes.