careful when offering your "opinion"

[witterth]

The fact Im on half term holiday, means I've been here a lot over the past few days.

In my curmudgeonly old way, its got me thinking about lots of Bass related topics/stories.

For me, one that keeps coming back to me is one, that even with hindsight/time still irritates me, when I mentally recount it. Its about being "slagged off" by another musician. that I can cope with (really, I can,Honestly, we all get that from time to time!!) but.....Well..let me share...

I was playing at WMC somewhere (bad start I suppose!) and the drummer had invited an aquaintance (Bassplayer) down to watch. he sat and chatted with said drummer through our break and spent the whole time slagging of my "tone" & kit (according to the drummer) and how his was so "much better"

Now "tone" is fairly subjective anyway. but what really piss#s me off, is the fact that having been told of this guys fairly vitrolic tirade, (and his "tone" & kit & much superior knowledge to mine) he was quite "put out"/offended that when meeting him, at the bar I completley blanked him!! ( not rude, you understand, just blanked, you know;
Him: "allright mate?"
Me:(reponse) nada, nowt, nothing. BTW)
like I should be greatful for his "advice" !
two faced old womans "bits"

say it to my face and dont EVER call me mate!! was the thing.

is it just me?...probably is, it was years ago but still makes me cross to this day that this guy didnt get why ANYONE could ignore him depite his own dualfaced rudeness. the very zenith of arrogance!

Rant over,but KWIM?

(feeling better now!)....let it go....and.....relax.....
W

[Stylon Pilson]

Everyone has their own way of dealing with such situations. Myself, I wouldn't have blanked the guy in this situation, because he probably wouldn't have made the connection - he'd just think that you were a grumpy old git, and nothing has been achieved. I'd be more likely to respond to "alright mate" with "I hear you don't think much of my tone or equipment. Shall we talk about that?"

Watch, and delight, as he backpedals furiously. "Nah mate, not that I don't like it, nothing wrong with it, I just don't think it's for me, burble burble burble..."

Alternatively, maybe he actually does know more than you, and you might learn something.

S.P.

Edited June 1, 2010 by Stylon Pilson

[crez5150]

[quote name='Stylon Pilson' post='853375' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:32 AM']Everyone has their own way of dealing with such situations. Myself, I wouldn't have blanked the guy in this situation, because he probably wouldn't have made the connection - he'd just think that you were a grumpy old git, and nothing has been achieved. I'd be more likely to respond to "alright mate" with "I hear you don't think much of my tone or equipment. Shall we talk about that?"

Watch, and delight, as he backpedals furiously. "Nah mate, not that I don't like it, nothing wrong with it, I just don't think it's for me, burble burble burble..."

Alternatively, maybe he actually does know more than you, and you might learn something.

S.P.[/quote]

I agree.... or a swift nut to the nose and standing on his neck for 5 mins may have the desired effect.

[witterth]

Naa Ive heard him play, he knows knoball!!
take your point though.
he was noticably embarresed by being "blanked" never happened to him before I dont think.
He does think hes "all that"
wish like you say, Id made him "squrim!!" though

[witterth]

[quote name='crez5150' post='853377' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:35 AM']I agree.... or a swift nut to the nose and standing on his neck for 5 mins may have the desired effect.[/quote]
Now THATS got me to thinking...!!!!

[Toasted]

I'd question the motives of your "friend" who told you all this.

[witterth]

[quote name='Toasted' post='853389' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:47 AM']I'd question the motives of your "friend" who told you all this.[/quote]
He wasnt a friend, he was the Drummer!!
incapable of lying/subderfuge/dishonesty he'd have a nose bleed bless him!!

[purpleblob]

[quote name='Stylon Pilson' post='853375' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:32 AM']Everyone has their own way of dealing with such situations. Myself, I wouldn't have blanked the guy in this situation, because he probably wouldn't have made the connection - he'd just think that you were a grumpy old git, and nothing has been achieved. I'd be more likely to respond to "alright mate" with "I hear you don't think much of my tone or equipment. Shall we talk about that?"[/quote]

+1 - have to agree, I'd make sure it was brought out into the open and put him in a position where he'd at least have to justify his comments or slink off tail between his legs.

[witterth]

OH! Stylon!! less of the "old"


"Git" I can handle.....but...

W

[flyfisher]

+1 to that.

Why would your 'friend' even relate the story to you in the first place?

These things are subjective. I can't stand opera but that doesn't mean the musicians and singers are bad at what they do (heck, I wish I was as proficient in what I try to do!), it's just that, in my opinion, I don't like what they do.

[JTUK]

It is difficult when you are in this situation..

If I am watching and asked... I would just reply that it is fine...or ask what they are lookng for and go from there.
Nothing to be gained from trashing the guy tho...so if you can't say anything nice or plesant, best say not much at all....

If I am playing...then I don't talk about subjective subjects like sound.. if I am happy, that is pretty much it.
I'd probably not have bothered with him either...
I wouldn't have ignored him completely, just a curt 'acknowledgemnt' and move away quickly.

[witterth]

[quote name='JTUK' post='853421' date='Jun 1 2010, 11:18 AM']It is difficult when you are in this situation..

If I am watching and asked... I would just reply that it is fine...or ask what they are lookng for and go from there.
Nothing to be gained from trashing the guy tho...so if you can't say anything nice or plesant, best say not much at all....

If I am playing...then I don't talk about subjective subjects like sound.. if I am happy, that is pretty much it.
I'd probably not have bothered with him either...
I wouldn't have ignored him completely, just a curt 'acknowledgemnt' and move away quickly.[/quote]
Thats what I did really, look 'em in the eyes but no response, it can be more satisfying than words if you see what I mean?!
but the fact Im still "on one about it"....means I dunno....

BTW
No, Martin, it wasnt Biffo, he made me laugh! and was sacked so I could come back to that particular turn,If you rember,so I got my own back there, eh? (he slagged me off as well.....Im not making myself look too good here am I? )
maybe I can join the "marmite" club of the bass playing world...I think the company is good there though.

sorry for the personal message ...Its MY thread!!
W

[Johngh]

[quote name='Stylon Pilson' post='853375' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:32 AM']Everyone has their own way of dealing with such situations. Myself, I wouldn't have blanked the guy in this situation, because he probably wouldn't have made the connection - he'd just think that you were a grumpy old git, and nothing has been achieved. I'd be more likely to respond to "alright mate" with "I hear you don't think much of my tone or equipment. Shall we talk about that?"

Watch, and delight, as he backpedals furiously. "Nah mate, not that I don't like it, nothing wrong with it, I just don't think it's for me, burble burble burble..."

Alternatively, maybe he actually does know more than you, and you might learn something.

S.P.[/quote]

+1

I'd have confronted him no question. Kind of friendly like, but I would have asked how he came to his opinion, then tore it to pieces.

I left a band a few weeks ago after the drummer quit. The band asked me to stay on until we found another drummer which I declined. We were a tribute act.
Anyway, I check on to a certain "name" bands website forum and the guitarist who asked me to stay on was slagging me and the drummer off for leaving, and one or two forum members were posting their "opinion's" on the subject until I pointed out that one of the said muso's was me.
I said my bit on the forum thread and funnily enough it went quiet after that.


To be honest the word "opinion" is my most hated word in the English language. Yes you can have your opinion, but I don't have to agree with it. I can't abide people who think that their opinion is gospel and go mad if other disagree with it.
Personally I'd take no notice of his opinion of my tone or gear for that matter, if I'm happy with it and the band don't complain then so what.

[xilddx]

Can't see why you're still pissed off about it TBH. If it was someone worthy of musical respect I might understand you being concerned, but you reckon he's a know nothing so it's like being called an ugly bugger by a child. So stop wasting your energy with such trifles.

I also can't dig that you blanked him. Are you quick to anger?

I think Joe Toasted has an excellent point.

Just my thrupence worth.

[EssentialTension]

[quote name='Toasted' post='853389' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:47 AM']I'd question the motives of your "friend" who told you all this.[/quote]
Me too - why wasn't he defending you?

[tauzero]

[quote name='witterth' post='853368' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:28 AM']it was years ago but still makes me cross to this day[/quote]
You see, you have mistaken his intentions. You thought he was just making a few snidey comments, when in fact he was destroying your whole life and leaving you a crumpled, wretched shell, preyed on for years by the thought of his remarks.

[Stylon Pilson]

[quote name='tauzero' post='853531' date='Jun 1 2010, 01:16 PM']You see, you have mistaken his intentions. You thought he was just making a few snidey comments, when in fact he was destroying your whole life and leaving you a crumpled, wretched shell, preyed on for years by the thought of his remarks.[/quote]

The terrorists have won.

S.P.

[MB1]

MB1.
...I have now removed my opinion!...Can't be Too Careful!..

Edited June 1, 2010 by MB1

[witterth]

[quote name='silddx' post='853491' date='Jun 1 2010, 12:26 PM']Can't see why you're still pissed off about it TBH. If it was someone worthy of musical respect I might understand you being concerned, but you reckon he's a know nothing so it's like being called an ugly bugger by a child. So stop wasting your energy with such trifles.

I also can't dig that you blanked him. Are you quick to anger?

I think Joe Toasted has an excellent point.

Just my thrupence worth.[/quote]
Didn't happen to you though did it?
Dig(?)
But, point taken and have 2p change

some times, on earth, we call this "emotion" or even "professional pride"
as misguided or illogical,Captain, as it can be, some times it happens I Guess.
allow for typed word not conveying the full intent though Mr S.

who said the drummer was a friend? why should he defend me? (BTW)

And....Quick to anger? of course not You toss#er!!!
(REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY J for Joke)

[witterth]

[quote name='Johnston' post='853566' date='Jun 1 2010, 01:56 PM']Opinions are like arseholes everyone has one.

Never worry 'bout them .[/quote]
I know that ,you know that, the world knows that but...

"if you prick us, do we not bleed?"

maybe just ignore the pricks I suppose

[GreeneKing]

[quote name='Toasted' post='853389' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:47 AM']I'd question the motives of your "friend" who told you all this.[/quote]

Yes, getting what he said 2nd hand doesn't warrant how you treated this guy imo. You should have checked it out with him directly and then reacted.

Pedro

[bassicinstinct]

[quote name='Johnston' post='853566' date='Jun 1 2010, 01:56 PM']Opinions are like arseholes everyone has one.[/quote]

Or Hitler's testicle.

[discreet]

[quote name='witterth' post='853394' date='Jun 1 2010, 10:52 AM']He wasn't a friend, he was the Drummer![/quote]

How many times have I heard this!?

[quote name='bassicinstinct' post='853576' date='Jun 1 2010, 02:06 PM']Or Hitler's testicle. [/quote]

Eh? How can everyone have Hitler's testicle?

[witterth]

[quote name='GreeneKing' post='853571' date='Jun 1 2010, 02:02 PM']Yes, getting what he said 2nd hand doesn't warrant how you treated this guy imo. You should have checked it out with him directly and then reacted.

Pedro[/quote]
Probably right P, but I just didnt. what can I say? Im only human and certainly no saint!!
does no one here ever just get CROSS!! eh?
or if they do just cant admit to it?
sometimes when youre alone at night with your own thoughts dont you ever just think.....
"if only I could go back to that moment I'd............. (insert here)"
Oh come on, you know you have!

Edited June 1, 2010 by witterth

[Doddy]

Let's be honest about it,everyone has had negative comments said about them at
some point-it doesn't matter who you are(there are plenty of discussions on here
in that vein).
However,I think you were wrong to blank the guy. I doesn't matter what he said
about you to someone else,to him you came across as a prick by ignoring him when
he spoke to you.You don't have to be confrontational or anything,just a quick 'Alright
mate' would have been enough. He may not have liked your tone,but he might be
a nice enough guy who just wanted to chat with you-by blanking him you come across
as though you are arrogant and with a bad attitude.
I'll always speak to guys and am friendly,even if I don't particularly like them-you never
know,you may get some gigs out if it.